Always, Lily

▫️Fourteen

LILITH

"I'm here with you," Lorenzo uttered these words of assurance for the sixth time, his eyes offering the comfort I now needed.

I reached for his left bicep again, the thought of now trying out all what we had practiced so terrifying.

As he'd offered the other day, we had began lessons on how to overcome this elevator fear of mine.

I had done well in finishing all the small tasks he'd assigned me. He'd even told me that I'd done well and I believed him.

However, as we now stood at the ground floor of a large mall in our town, I felt my previous confidence wane.

It wasn't even because of the many people around us. No. I paid them no heed, my eyes solely focused on the elevator we were supposed to get into.

I thought I was ready. After days of consistent practice, I had thought that I was good to give it a try.

Lorenzo had been hesitant at first but with my persuasion, he had finally relented and here we were.

I had asked him to accompany me to the mall where I was supposed to buy some home accessories for my family that would be visiting.

I had opted for this option so that it wouldn't be a futile trip if ended up chickening out in the end.

He had also asked about us going shopping so I knew it was no issue with him.

Take a deep breath and exhale.

Once you feel ready enough, hold my hand and we'll walk into the lift together.

These were the first two steps Lorenzo had instructed me and so far, I was only doing well up to that step.

When we agreed to walk forward together, I only took a single step and stopped. I was too nervous to continue.

Surely we'd practiced this before, just memorizing the steps but now that we were actually doing it, it felt so difficult.

This moment reminded me of how exams were. A day before, you would study for an entire night till the point where you felt ready but the moment the exam was finally brought out, it was another story.

"Let's start again," Lorenzo softly suggested after my hesitance. I dropped my hand from his bicep and retraced our steps.

I breathed in and then exhaled. I wiped away my sweaty hands on my cornflower sundress and turned to look at him.

"I'm ready," I whispered in a small smile as I reached for his hand.

His touch brought me assurance and I felt confident to have him by my side.

"Let's go now," I directed, so that we would begin moving at the same time.

The elevator doors opened just a few seconds later and three people walked in ahead of us.

They were the only ones in there and they seemed so preoccupied with their phones to notice us before them.

Try to distract your thoughts in that moment.

Think of something engaging, like maybe do a mental calculation or maybe think of someone.

"You can do it, Venesse." Lorenzo whispered next to my ear and I looked up at him, ready for the next steps.

His eyes ran all over my face and when he confirmed I was alright, we walked in together, just before the doors closed.

Think of something engaging.