Shadow and Light

33.1

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Not because of her will, neither was it her intention but the cat was out of the bag, she had finally talked about that one detail about her life she had not even told her friend, Savar.

The man was her best kept secret, another one of her mistakes and yet her only salvation while she was dying from inside. She had not thought about him in the past years, had completely pushed him out of her thoughts but yet, whenever she lets her mind wander into emptiness, his face is the first one that comes before her eyes.

Not her husbands, not her parents, but him. That man who she thought she loved, who she might have wanted to live with, who she hated.

She didn't quite sleep that night, her thoughts invaded by a man who was not her husband. She felt ashamed, thinking about a man when she was sleeping next to her husband, she might be a tough woman, but she respected the rules of marriage.

She couldn't sleep that night, slipping away from under the hands of the man sleeping beside her, she sneaked out into the vast corridors of this palace she had started to call her home. Some servants were still there, finishing up there day's work only to come back tomorrow and start all over again. She didn't feel pity for the people, she felt proud that the people of this kingdom were hard working citizens and that they respected and loved their king so much.

All of them smiled and bowed in respect for their queen, no questions asked no looks given, this was her palace anyway.
She wandered those empty, soulless lengths of passages with the light of the oil lamps guiding her way, her eyes wandered to different paintings, to family portraits, some of them she didn't know, truth be told she didn't know any.

"Lost?" she heard Adwith from behind, without turning back she answered, "Not really, couldn't sleep" he walked towards her, his shoes making a thud with the wooden flooring.

She hadn't seen when the floors had taken a rather wooded turn from the normal marbles in the main palace, she was perhaps in the east wing. "People are not really allowed out here" he told her, "But here you are" she replied, he nodded.

"So, you are telling me, this humongous palace is connected to each other? With all of these passages?" She asked, curiosity embedded in her every word, "Yes, sister. Our great-grandfather wanted to keep his people connected. Even the servant quarters are attached to the palace" he replied.

They walked in silence after their little exchange of words but she would now and then ask something about the paintings on the wall and he was obliged to answer.

She stopped just outside a beautifully crafted wooden door, "What's in there?" she asked, touching the engravings, "Nobody's allowed there, at all" he said, his emphasis on the last bit. "Why?" her curiosity piqued, "Renu Bhabhi Ma, took her last breathes in there" he told her, "Oh!" she said and took her hands off of the door, "Why is it closed though?" she asked, "The king closed it because there was no certainty as to if the remnants of her disease were gone or not, it was for the protection of his people" he explained, "I know Ranvijay, with the way he gets angry and the way the last moments of her has engraved in his brain as his worst memory, he would have burned the place down, not merely close it" she replied casually.

"You make sense sister, but alas that's not what happened" he told her, "What I am trying to ask is, who told him to close it?" she asked, "Why...would you assume somebody asked him?" he looked at her, his eyes wide, she had assumed correctly, she just gave him a look in return. "Meera, it was Meera" he answered, "I knew it, why?" she asked, her jaw tight, "I don't know if you know this sister, Meera was Bhabhi Ma's cousin" he revealed, "What?" she cocked an eyebrow, "Yes, she came here to be with her sister, but...well she is the head of servants now, and also responsible for my brother's safety" he answered, "Ranvijay's safety? You must be joking, the general should be responsible for that" she scoffed, "Brother made a separate body for his safety, since the father Agrasen died" he replied.