𝕲𝖗𝖎𝖘𝖍𝖆𝖛𝖊𝖗𝖘𝖊 𝕺𝖓𝖊 𝕾𝖍𝖔𝖙𝖘

𝐼𝓃𝒸𝑜𝓇𝓇𝑒𝒸𝓉 𝒬𝓊𝑜𝓉𝑒𝓈

Wylan: Pros and cons of dating me.
Wylan: Pros. You'll be the cute one.
Wylan: Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-

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*at the supermarket*
Jesper: All right, the last item on the list is "virgin oil."
Jesper:
Jesper: Wow. Imagine being an item and still being called a virgin.

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Jesper: Look, do I consider myself attractive? Yes. But would I have sex with my clone? Also yes.

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Nikolai: "What are you into?" is such a broad question, like do I reply with a TV series or choking?

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Matthias: Plants are basically the ideal friends. They are quiet, friendly, and easy to please. All they need is a little water and fresh earth, and they are perfectly happy to lie there all day in the sun. And they don't make increasingly awful life choices, or hide their relationships. They have never, as far as I know, fucked a bee.

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Nikolai: I am not a whore, and, not that I've done the math, but, if I were, I'd be the super classy kind that gets flown to Dubai to stay in an underwater hotel.

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Kaz: Life keeps fucking me and I can't remember the safeword.

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Alina: I love saying 'fuck me' because it can either be sexual or self-loathing and those are two things that describe me perfectly.

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Alina: I don't go looking for trouble. Trouble usually finds me first.

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Zoya, making coffee: This is going to fix everything.

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Nina: The waiter at Olive Garden has been grating my cheese for 6 hours now, waiting for me to say when to stop. Customers are screaming. Three people have died.
Nina: I will not yield.

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Wylan: What are you in the mood for?
Jesper: World domination.
Wylan: That's a bit ambitious.
Jesper: You are my world.
Wylan: Aww...
Jesper:
Wylan:
Jesper:
Wylan: OH.

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Kaz: My crush isn't picking up on my hints.
Nina: What hints have you given them?
Kaz: Well, I think about them a lot.
Kaz: And sometimes I even think about talking to them.

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Nina: My hands are cold.
Matthias: Here, let me hold them.
Nina: My lips are cold too.
Matthias: *covers Nina's mouth with his hand*

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Nikolai: Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt.
Zoya: Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit.

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Nikolai, throwing their head into Zoya's lap: Tell me I'm pretty!
Zoya, lovingly stroking their hair: You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are.

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Nikolai: I don't know how to tell you this, but... I love you.
Mal: That's great, Nikolai. Especially considering the fact we've been married for 6 fucking years.

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