Leaf Me Alone // minsung

「⸙ ch.13 ⸙」

JISUNG

I stared at my phone, helpless. I really would like to pretend that I haven't been staring at it for the past half an hour, trying to come up with something, but the truth was I had no idea how to start the conversation with Minho. Operation Minho ground to a halt.

Sure, I had his number now, but I didn't know what to say to him. How does one start a conversation with a person that you've had a whole yelling session at? How do I mend the trust and the friendship that I relentlessly tore down that day?

I started to type.

hi| <

No. Too simple.

hello Minho| <

Too formal.

heyyyyy my friend| <

What the fuck.

I tried every greeting under the sun, finally settling on a classic 'hi minho'. No capitals, not too serious or formal, but not too weird. Hopefully.

God, I was really overthinking this, wasn't I?

hi minho <

it's jisung <

i know you might not want to talk to me rn <

and i wouldn't want to talk to me either if i was in your shoes <

but there is a reason, i swear <

i don't think you're annoying, or harassing me, or rude, or any of the fucked up things i said <

please hear me out <

give me a chance to explain? <

i wasn't in the right mind and i know that isn't an excuse and you can still blame me because some of the things i said were really really bad but i swear i'm not an asshole <

i'm really sorry <

I took a deep breath as I shut my phone and threw it to the side. All I could do was wait, and hope that Minho was the type to forgive, or at least hear me out before cutting me off completely.

I threw myself onto the bed right after my phone, hissing as I felt a corner of it poke into my shoulder. Lying down face up, I found myself once again staring at the ceiling - I seemed to be doing that rather often these days - and sighed.

Yet another thing my parents have fucked up for me. I tried not to blame them, I really did. They are my parents, after all. They raised me. They put so much effort, so much money and nearly enough time into bringing me up, and all they got was an ungrateful son that wished for more. What more was there, really? What more did I want? Still, sometimes they made it really difficult not to feel at least a bit disgruntled. They always push me to the edge, always expect more from me and I'm stuck between an endless cycle of I don't deserve this and I have to repay them for all they've done for me. If they hadn't called me, then maybe I wouldn't have been in a shitty mood, then maybe I wouldn't have had that outburst and then maybe Minho would still be talking to me.

I rolled to my side, struggling not to sink into the dangerous whirlpool of 'what if's. Hugging my pillow to me, I reached out for my phone and placed it beside me, staring at it blankly. My mind was empty save for one name.

Minho.

Sleep crept up behind me and slowly engulfed me in it's warmth. Curled up on my bed, my eyelids were becoming heavier by the second. The quiet ping of my phone chased away all ideas of sleep, and I excitedly grabbed my phone, sitting up and unlocking my phone faster than I've ever done in my life.

My stomach was doing flips and my intestines were doing all sorts of jazzy twists as I clicked on my messages, and my face fell as I saw the notification. It was just some stupid guy in my class - Jackson, I think? - asking for homework. I briefly considered throwing my phone at the wall, but stopped when I realised I still needed it in case Minho actually decided to text me.

I glanced at my school bag, carelessly thrown into a corner, and finally remembered there was this thing called 'homework' that I had neglected to think about ever since the whole Minho situation started. As I lazily stretched out my arm, attempting to reach the bag without having to physically get up, my phone pinged again. In my rush to turn around and get it, I somehow managed to do this weird twist that had me hanging half-off the bed, before eventually falling to the floor in a heap.

I was not made for moving around.

Wincing, I crawled back on to the bed, retrieving my phone and clicking open the message with a speed that I'm sure earnt me a place in the Guinness World Records.

It was Minho that had messaged this time, and I let out a deep breath. Okay, so he hasn't blocked me. That's a positive, right?

It was a single letter.

>k.

I watched anxiously as the three dots indicating he was typing appear, disappear, then appear again.

>school library?

My fingers flew across the screen in my haste to reply. Not only was he not ignoring me, he was willing to hear me out!

sure! what time do you want to meet up? <

His reply came faster this time, 3 seconds shorter than last time. Not that I was counting.

> tomorrow lunch good?

yeah <

see u then :) <

I was left on read.

But it's okay, because I'd see him tomorrow, and I'd be able to explain what was going on, and everything would be alright again. He'd go back to teasing me, and I would go back to rolling my eyes at him but secretly thankful that he shares his cheesecake with me. The friend group would go back to normal, and I'd be once again stuck with the galaxy-eyed idiot that followed me around and threw quips like compliments in your face and never batted an eyelash at what other people thought of him but really cared so much on the inside.

I'd never admit it out loud, but I sometimes missed the tapping on the back of my chair, the flash of a grin sent my way, the eyes that were filled with so much emotion swirling around that it sometimes made me dizzy.

Only sometimes.

But enough to know that it felt strange when it wasn't there.

I really hoped that I could fix it, because I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't. I had a promise to keep, and I had to fix it. Fix him.

*****

be honest did yall cry

i acc really like this chapter even if it wasnt necessarily minsung because omg

song rec: RUNNERS by STRAY KIDS its such a night walk song yall

love y'all <3