Hearts Parade of a Lyrical Life

Hats off to those with Greater Self Confidence

Tuesday, September 5th

The next day at College, Ryan glares at me when I approach. Grace looks over at me, concerned. She takes my arm and talks to me discreetly, away from Ryan.

"Look can you just apologise about the hat thing?" She says, and I look over, Ryan isn't wearing his stupid fedora.

"He looks better this way." I retort.

"I know but he's pissed so, just, say sorry, please? I can't deal with this awkward tension." She has a point, and as stubborn as I am, I go over to apologise to Ryan.

"Sorry I called your fedora stupid and laughed about you behind your back. Friends?" I offer out a hand and a fake smile, hoping I won't lose the guy who could potentially have the best notes in class.

"It's not like I care what you think anyway..." He drifts off, clearly caring about what I had said.

"Then can we just be civil and make up?" My hand is now waving in front of him dramatically in an attempt to get him to shake it. Ryan laughs at this and takes my hand.

"Fine." We lock eyes as he takes my hand and shakes it. I notice him start to blush and let go, I laugh at his reaction, 'is he really such a loser that he can't hold a girl's hand without blushing?' I thought.

Grace turned to me and whispered, "Y/N, you're blushing."

"What?" I feel the redness in my cheeks and cover my face, hoping Ryan didn't notice, and I see him looking over pointing and laughing at me, it's such quick karma.

We go off to class with Grace in the middle, acting as our mediator, as she has both of her arms around each of us. We both walk, sulking slightly like little kids who are being forced to spend time with one another.

————

In the lunch hall, Grace goes to excuse herself and leaves me and Ryan sat together, alone. He looks away, avoiding me.

"Are you still stuck on the hat thing? I apologised, I think it's," I pause, "...cool." Ryan looks back at me, a grin appearing on his face, I fear what he might say next.

"Yeah?" He smiles, and I nod thoughtfully, "Then wear it." he adds.

"What?" I sit up, stunned as he pulls the same stupid-looking hat out of his bag and hands it to me. Hatching a plan to get out of it, I think quickly and decide to turn on my charms. I scootch closer to him and comb my fingers through his hair gently. "You just look so much more handsome without it." I remark, hoping anything will work to get me out of this situation. He looks back at me, face reddening, it's working, I think, as he grabs the hat from my hand, and places it on my head. Shit.

"And you look so much prettier with it on." He teases back, pleased with himself. I feel so stupid in his hat but I need his notes, do it for the notes, I think, while looking back at him and smiling weakly. He's laughing at me, knowing I look stupid, I can't help but watch and blush as he sits there laughing. He looks so, sweet, when he isn't busy making my school life miserable that is. I notice how close we are and scootch away quickly, just in time for Grace to appear behind me and sit between us.

"I see you've changed your mind about the hat Y/N, you look, smart!" Even Grace can't make that compliment sound genuine. "I'm glad you two are back to getting along, I was worried my two best friends in College would leave me before we'd even started." She remarks, now digging into her lunch. I grit my teeth and nod with a fake smile, how long am I gonna have to wear this thing?

————

All. Day.

I wore that hat the entire day. People would look at me as I walked past them in the halls, I heard whispering behind me in class, did Ryan have to put up with this stuff before too? At the end of the day, Grace leaves early and once again Ryan and I are left alone.