Hearts Parade of a Lyrical Life

Regret Seeps into the Written Word

Wednesday, September 20th

I didn't want to go to school today. I didn't want to see anyone or face anything that I'd done. I lay in bed and let my alarm sound until it was 5 minutes before I had to leave and I was already late.

I trodded into class, the big door opened as I trudged in. "Tardiness is unacceptable behaviour at this institute Ms. Y/L/N." I nod apologetically and take a seat at the back of the class, avoiding looking at Ryan and Grace. Grace tries to beckon me over but I ignore her and sit down.

I avoid Ryan and Grace the whole day, I eat lunch alone and sit alone in classes, sticking my head in my book and deciding to focus my attention on my studies. When I came out of the bathroom after my classes had ended, Jared was sitting outside. "Now who's the weirdo waiting outside of bathrooms?" I smirk weakly.

Jared turns to me, "I saw you come in here and you looked down, so I thought I'd wait and see if you were okay. That, and Amanda really wants you back on dish duty, she's trying to come up with any way to convince you."

I muster a small laugh, Jared was so unserious, but it was nice to see that some part of him cared. I go to sit beside him. "I'm fine, just a rough day." I shrug off.

"A rough day that caused you to sit alone at lunch? Come on I'm not that dumb." He nudges my side with his, I smile,

"I messed up, and I've upset Ryan, I don't think I can bear to be with him right now."

"Your boyfriend?"

"He was never my boyfriend ." I moan back, annoyed at how everyone thought we were together, and how that's what started this whole fiasco.

" Oh ." Jared gives a knowing look, "And that was the problem?" I turned to Jared, puzzled as to how he managed to read me so well. He places an arm around me and gives me a tight squeeze as if I had responded with a 'yes' to his question. "Amanda is good with this kind of stuff, you should talk to her about it." Jared gets up and takes my hand, "Let's go home." I get up and walk with Jared back to the dorms, my arm wrapped around his.

————

Amanda rushes toward me, seeing the sad look on my face, and she grabs it like a protective mother. "Y/N what's wrong?" We sit down in the common room and she makes me a herbal tea which she says 'calms nerves', it did make me feel more relaxed. I once again explain what had happened and Amanda pulls me in for a hug, motioning Jared to sit with us to comfort me. "I know it sounds awful right now but I'm sure he'll come around, why don't you write him a note? That way you can apologize without having to directly confront him."

"I already apologized."

"Yes, but that was right after the fact, you've got to give people time to feel their emotions, I'm sure he'll be more receptive now. If you keep avoiding him you'll only make things worse." I was surprised at how good the advice Amanda was giving me was, Jared was nodding and smiling, she had obviously helped him in the past too.

"Okay." I mutter, "I'll write him a note." With that, I get up and head to my room.

When I entered my room I noticed my picture on the floor, it must've been slipped under the door. My eyes start to well up again as my tears fall onto the glossy photo. I hold it in my hands and take it over to my desk. When I sit down, I open my phone and see texts and missed calls from Jon and Spencer. None from Ryan.

I opened my phone and read through, it turned out Ryan didn't show up to band practice either and Spencer and Jon were there alone, wondering where we both were.

Y/N: "I think I'm gonna quit the band."

Jon: "Cause of what happened between you and Ryan? Come on you guys will get over it"