Hearts Parade of a Lyrical Life

There is no End, Only New Beginnings

I sat with Kayla and Lucy again in class, Ryan was still unaware of Grace and my affiliation with them, but I didn't look over at him to gauge his reaction. We were sitting a few rows ahead and Lucy was running me through the plan while we pretended to be working on article dissections.

"So, just to get this clear," I whispered, "Your grand plan is that we say that I was helping some guy rehearse lines for his drama class, then he kissed me?" Lucy and Kayla looked proud with themselves.

"One of the guys from our club is willing to attest to the story." Kayla added.

I squinted my eyes, "How does that explain me not telling him who it was sooner?"

It looked like they were hoping I'd ask this question as they looked at each other and stifled giggles, "Because you didn't know his name, duh!" Kayla announced, Lucy gave her a quiet high five. I didn't have much faith in this 'plan', but I'd do anything to get Ryan back at this point.

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After class, Grace and I walked with Kayla and Lucy. Kayla whipped out her phone to text the guy from our club who we had planned would speak to Ryan for me, as he was currently giving me the cold shoulder. Ryan was standing and chatting with his English partner, it looked like they were about to head off to go and work on their project before the 'guy from our club' approached Ryan.

We couldn't hear what was being said, only the expressions on their faces. Ryan didn't look mad at the very least. When our guy walked away, he made our way over to us to fill us in. He shook his head gently.

"He's not ready to speak to you Y/N, but I think he forgives you. I wouldn't think he'd take you back so eagerly though." It wasn't the worst outcome of the plan, and was better than I had hoped, so I thanked him and he walked away. I turned back to the others, they looked down.

"Sorry, we couldn't fix it." Kayla patted my arm for comfort, I felt fine.

"It's better than if you hadn't done anything at all, but..." I trail off, thinking about what we had done, "It's still lying, I think it's for the best that it didn't work. I wouldn't want a relationship formed on a lie."

Grace looked at me with sadness in her eyes, she hugged me understandably. No one could've pictured this happening in a matter of days, and I was the one who told him about it in the first place. At the very least, I was happy that through this experience I had learnt more about myself, I did like girls, but Ryan remained at the forefront of my thoughts. It was ironic that I had to lose him before realising just how much he meant to me.

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Grace walked with me to the dorms, we planned on working more on our assignment in my room since I was feeling pretty drained over what had transpired over the past couple of days. I let her sit at my desk while I lay down, throwing ideas out of the bed.

Our poem had come to be quite complex, with topics such as absent parents, and complex feelings/emotions, all explored through the theme of an abandoned bird, that was found by a different species and taken in as their own. The symbolism was poetic, the bird representing Grace, and also me in another sense. We had both felt abandoned in one way or another, and the fact it could be read in those two ways I thought added greater interest to it as a whole. The others should have no problem analysing it, if anything they were spoilt for content.

We finished up with our first completed draft. I was happy with it, honestly struggling to think of what we could possibly change, but Grace wanted to go through it one last time tomorrow. That way we could have the weekend off to relax. I didn't know what I would do with an open weekend for a change, normally I would have some form of practice with Jon, or I'd spend time with Ryan, but now I had nothing. There was always Grace though, and now I had met Kayla and Lucy too, so it shouldn't be so bad.