Hearts Parade of a Lyrical Life

The Weight of Grappling an Elusive Romance

Sunday, October 15th

It was the day of Ryan's first official performance, I had been sent the time and the venue by way of a nicely designed invite that was slid under my doorstep, it looked like the work of Spencer, he had taken design classes in the past and was a frequent photoshop user. They had only made physical copies for themselves and a couple of their friends, me, Grace, and a few others who I hadn't met. Ryan had told me that Jon had printed out quite a few extras. It was weird to think that Jon had a life outside of the band, though I couldn't fathom why it should be, Jon had been at College a whole extra year than us and was in a popular band that now tours, it only made sense he'd have friends lined up around the door.

I had spent all of Saturday afternoon on my little surprise for Ryan. I felt anxious thinking about whether or not it was good enough, or if he would like it, whether he would accept my feelings after all that had happened. But I decided that didn't matter so much, what matters is that I showed I cared and he deserved someone who cared.

I went through my wardrobe tearing out piece after piece of clothing hoping to find something fitting to wear for the occasion before I eventually landed on my outfit. My favourite pair of jeans with a brown camisole and a light mossy green shawl, complete with my favourite necklaces and accessories.

My makeup took less time to do, I didn't do anything extravagant, adding a muted rusty lip and some plush atop my cheeks. By the time I was ready I was running slightly late. I had to quickly gather up my things –including the invite– and stuff them in my over-the-shoulder bag before heading out.

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The venue was a small music club, it was down some stairs underneath a laundromat but was a favourite for local bands and music lovers to visit. Ryan had told me the setlist was made up entirely of original music, all written by him.

Jon found out about Ryan's songwriting after I went through his things all that time ago, he asked him about it and turned out Ryan had quite a few songs that were up to demo stage, they had been working tirelessly at band practices to get the instrumentals down, as Ryan had only gotten as far as the guitar parts. Dallon composed the bass, Jon added keyboard and an extra layer of guitar, and Spencer did drums as well as mixed the backing track. They were a real band, though Ryan still insisted on saying that their music was still not complete and that they remained as demos for the time being. Demo or not they were good enough to perform.

I didn't want to run for fear that I would show up sweaty and ruin my hair and makeup, so instead I made peace with the idea of maybe being a little late, it was only five minutes so I doubted it would make that much of an issue.

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The bouncer took one look at my ID and my strange grimaced smile and gave me a confused look, a wristband was put on me and I was shuffled in, no one else was wearing wristbands, until I noticed my group of friends who had been saving me a seat by the stage.

Grace, Jess (the librarian), Kayla and Lucy were all there wearing wristbands getting served by various members of staff as they basked in mocktails and soft drinks. Grace was the first to notice me and hurried me over. The stage was all set up, but still empty.

"Y/N!" Grace called out to me from across the club, I nudged past people to get toward her. The place was packed, I don't know how or why but it seemed like everyone from school was here, some people seemingly from other universities or simply just from the area. Across from our table sat a group of cooly dressed 20-somethings, with one man sat in the middle of them who looked of utmost importance. I arrived at the table to greet the group, "They haven't started yet, we've all been waiting for you." Grace said, trying to sound louder than the noise that filled the air of the club.