emotions

IV.

The next day...

     "Well how did the meet up go, big bro?" Will asked, passing the blunt to me. I was on vacation from my job, so I spent most of my spare time on my patio's deck, watching the cars fly by and the clouds take their precious time getting to wherever they were headed. Occasionally, my little brother would come by and kick it with me for a few. I guess he needed days like this too. Something we seem to have in common.
"Just like I knew it would go." I paused to take a hit of the blunt. "Horribly." I said slightly choking on smoke I just inhaled.
Will shakes his head in disdain. He really wanted our relationship to work. As with the others, their relationship was a lot better than ours. Not even wanting to be jealous of it, but wanting theirs to flourish just like they wanted for me. But at this point I'm tired of trying.
"What yall talk about?" He asked, curiously.
"Damn near everything slipped out during this conversation lil' bro. The evil wicked stepmother, his other kids, of course the topic about that bitch's cousin came up too. It was some shit man, I knew that shit was gonna happen too." I exhaled the smoke and passed him the blunt.
"Yeah, he told me he felt some type of way about shit with her cousin."
I scrunched up my face in confusion.
"Feel some type of way about what? Me being gay? Or who I chose to be gay with in the moment?"
"A little bit of both."
I was left there speechless, with my hands over my mouth for dramatic effect. This was my first time actually hearing it confirmed.
"But how are you angry with me, and she's the one that set it up?"
My little brother looked at me like he had seen a ghost.
"Wait... she set y'all up?"
"You didn't know, did you?"
"Nah big bro, I would've never guessed." He said taking a long pull of the blunt. This may have been a lot for him too, but shit the truth is the truth.
"Yeah, man. We was on FaceTime one day and she was outside on her porch, my guess was he was in the background chilling 'cause I only heard his voice but never seen his face at first. Then she introduced him to me. He said I was cute, we exchanged socials and he turned into a homeboy since. That day they came, it was a window of opportunity. He stays 4 hours away, who the hell got the funds to go see that weak ass nigga on a regular? So I messed around with him, but not much even took place."
I watched Will take in all this crazy information I was filling him in on.
"So why didn't she just tell Dad the truth about yall?"
I shrugged my shoulders.
"Because she's a miserable person who gets off on making others miserable. Misery loves company, and she's made her own."
"Shit ain't right, man. What you gone do now?"
I looked at my little brother and smiled.
"There's nothing else I can do, baby bro. I gotta let that butterfly go. If it's truly meant to be it'll find its way back to me."
"I feel that too, I hope that it does." He said passing the blunt to me again.
I take a long pull. Inhale. Exhale.
"I hope one day it does too. I hope it's really not over. But if it is, I can say I put up my best fight."
"But, come on. So I can bust your ass in Call Of Duty." I said, getting up and holding the door open. I watched my brother slip inside, as I closed the door behind me. I smiled to myself a bit, and thought to myself. We don't know really know what tomorrow will bring, you have to love who loves you in the moment, and pray for the ones who do but can't show it. If it's really over this time, only time will be able to tell. Even if that butterfly never finds its way back to me, I promise my love for it will always be.