emotions

III.

    "Yeah, Mom. It's me. It's Josh."
The door flung open and she collapsed into my arms.
"Aweee, my baby!" She tightened her embrace and for a moment it seemed like she didn't want to let go.
When she finally did I asked her how she had been.
"I been doin' alright, I can't really complain. How about you, my sweet baby?" She said not taking an eye off me.
"Same old, same old. I been alright though, could be better but thankful for what I got."
"How'd you find me?" She asked, turning the volume on the TV down.
Her question stunned me a little, as I thought of the words to say.
"Your my heart, Mama. I'll always find you."
I fluttered my eyes so the tear threatening to fall wouldn't have a chance.
"I-I-I—" I continued, nervousness building up all around me. "I wanted to make sure you were okay, I know it had been a while since we last talked. Or seen each other."
She sighed a long weary sigh and looked at me.
"I know. I'm sorry for that, Son."
I put her hands in mine and looked her in her eyes.
"There's nothing you have to be sorry for, just promise me one thing if you can?"
The look of despair somewhat swept across her face.
"What's that?"
"Promise we won't go another 5 years without talking to each other. Let the past be what it is and let's look toward a better future. For you. For me. For us, Ma. You think we can do that?"
I asked, tears welling up in my eyes.
"I think we can do that Joshy." She said getting up to hug me.

We spent the rest of the day together talking, singing, reminiscing. On the good times, a little bit of the bad times and even the ugly ones. It was so much she had missed in those 5 years, but we planned on getting that time back. One day at a time.

"Alright my mama, I best be going. I gotta get up early in the morning." I said getting up from the comfortable couch I started to doze off on.
"Awe, well it was so good to see you!" She said softly as she walked me to my car.
"You'll see me again, Ma. We gone get it right this time I promise. I love you."
"I love you." She said wiping her eyes a bit.

And with that I sped off home, thinking of all the events that took place tonight. I checked on her, seen her. Seen my heart in person. I wasn't sure how this was going to go, but I'm glad I went. I can't wait to see Ms. Cynthia on Monday.