emotions

III.

I pulled up in the Hotspot's parking lot and contemplated getting out of my car. Is this really worth it? I kept trying to tell myself that it was. Part of me felt he really didn't want to join me today, another part of me hoped he was trying to fix our relationship too. I guess we'll see, huh?
I walked into the restaurant, requested a booth and waited for him.
I sat and waited, watching the cars fly down the main street. I couldn't help but tap my feet as the minutes went by. I was truly nervous to see how this is going to go.
My nervousness took an all time high when I saw the familiar light blue and silver Dodge truck slowly coming to a halt in one of the empty parking spaces. My father was always a flashy man, telling by the shiny bright chrome in the rims of the truck, and the freshly painted gleam of the blue paint job.
I watched him get out of the truck and walk into the restaurant. It didn't take but a second for him to notice me. Of course the least favorite child can be recognized the quickest.
"Hey, Dad." I said lowly as he took his seat across from mine.
"What's goin' on?" He asked, somewhat nonchalantly.
"Nothin' much, been tryna' get up with you."
He scoffed. "I thought I'd be the last person you'd be tryna' get up with."
"I could say the same thing about you."
"You still have this same mindset goin' on huh?"
"What mindset?"
"That nobody loves you. That I don't love you."
He literally just sat down. Didn't take but an opportunity and some open space.
"People love me, just not the people that deeply matter to me. Like you? I honestly don't know."
"Don't know what?"
"If you really love me or not."
I watched him let out a long deep sigh, like this conversation was just getting the best of him. We're just getting started.
"How could I not? You're my kid. My second born."
"Then why come I don't see you? We don't see you? Why only her?"
"Come on, we're not about to do this." He says trying to get up but I slam my hand on the table and stop him.
"No, Dad! You always try to shy away from the truth, I want you to recognize it like the other things you lack sight on."
"So that's just it. This is all about her?"
"Pops, we never see you. I never see you. The second me and you are on any type of good term she finds a false story to tell you to ruin it. Every time. We use to be so close pop, sneaking out to come hang out with you, lying about who I was with knowing I was always making a beeline right to you. What happened to all of that?" I asked.
He paused for a second.
"She can't just make those stories up outta her ass, son."
"Well, where the hell they come from then? 'Cause how she describe it to you 98.3 percent chance she's leaving out some major details. Knowing her, the parts her ditzy-minded ass took apart of."
"You just can't seem to respect anybody huh?"
He asked, shaking his head in disappointment.
I laughed at the word respect, more than the whole question itself.
"I respect you. Her? I can't respect a bitch that's 5 years older than me, trying to play mother when whole time we could've been in pull ups together. Respectfully pop, fuck that bitch."
He sat there for a while my guess is to reflect on all of what I was saying.
"I hear what you're saying, I do. But you're going to have to learn to respect her too."
"Respect?" I wanted to scream the word so loud, but still trying to keep my composure.
"Yes, respect." He said, sternly.
"I'm 28 years old, pop. If you want my respect, you gonna have to earn it. She hasn't. Not with all the shit she's done so far."
"What about the shit you've done Ty?"
"What have I done?"
"Talked shit to her, slept with her cousin. disrespected her."
"Well you poke the bear, the bear gets angry. I've never came at her first, whether you too stuck up her dried out ass pussy to realize. And I didn't sleep with him. But if I did IM GROWN!"
"You watch your mouth when you talkin' to me, boy! See that's your damn problem, you always got that damn mouth. Then what do you call it? Smart ass."
"I call it this 21st century thing called 'Oral Sex'" I shrugged sarcastically. "Either way, I stand on what I said. Nothing else happened, whatever that fuck boy told you isn't true. What you perceive to be true will always remain an obtuse to me." I truly was a smart ass, but he started it. I continued. "You never stop and ask me what happened. You just automatically believe them. Even if half of the party wasn't even there. Every. Single. Time. You stop at nothing to believe the bullshit crimes called out against your son." I stopped and paused. "I want a relationship with you, and if I gotta go through her to get it then I don't want it. I fought for a long time for the relationship we had pops, if you keep forgetting. Why and when did you stop fighting?"
"So what are you saying?"
I got up to leave, as I got tired of trying to plead my own innocence.
"I'm saying I lost you once, dont make me lose you again." And with that I walked away from him, and out of the restaurant.
Definitely went how I thought it would.