Escape of Freedom [ female reader x Eiser Leinz Grayan ]

Ch12. Pitiful

Even after many pleads and tries, my parents still won't allow me to do it. As usual, they just shut them down without hearing anything I said. I almost give up at this point. I can't do anything else. I want to try and help but I can't. I really such a weakling after all. 

I picked up the water hose before spraying water toward the flower bush in front of me. At least, I am glad that these flowers are growing healthy. 

Things have been going my way these days. I don't meet up with Eiser as much anymore since I have been avoiding him as much as possible and keeps our interaction short. It's not like he is curious or he actually cares about it since he never reached out at all. All day stuck inside his study room and leaves the house just as he wish. 

I mean....I don't blame him. 

We are just pretending to be marriage couple after all. There's should be no intimacy inside the relationship like now. 

It's just me....... who keep wanting to depend on him and ....... have feelings for him. 

I was trying to create distance between us so that when the relationship ended, it wouldn't hurt as much. I guess I was trying to protect myself. I was so engrossed in my thoughts that I didn't notice someone approaching me. When that someone called out my name, I turned around and was surprised to see him. "Raul! What are you doing here?" I asked, looking behind him, somehow searching for 'him'. 

Raul bowed his head, apologetic "I am sorry for surprising you like this but Sir Eiser asked me to call for you. He wants to meet you at his study room" he said formally and as polite as ever. 

"I'm sorry, but I'm busy right now and can't meet with Sir Eiser. Please let him know that I trust him to handle the situation without me." I said, smiling at Raul who looked a bit startled at the answer. 

I know it kind of sounds cold in my ear but I am sure it had no effects on Eiser. It's not like he is the type that easily got upset by chosen words. 

Raul nodded his head, turning around and headed back inside the house. 

Soon after, I released a quiet sigh. I did it, I guess? I focused back on my task, watering the bushes while humming to myself. I try my best to stop myself from thinking about him. Deep down, I was kind of hoping to see him approaching me but I know it's all false hopes. 

I hate myself. 

"Y/n" I froze. Is my ear playing tricks on me right now?

I turned around and saw Eiser standing there. He had the same expressionless face he always wears. I closed the valve to the hose and put it down.

"Is there anything important?" I asked, looking at him, trying be calm as ever. 

"Your father contact me yesterday, telling me that you are looking for donor and you want to do charity deeds, giving foods for the homeless people?" 

Ahh.....so father did contact him after all. 

"Yeah, but I am just asking my parents help. I don't go around, asking people money so don't worry. I won't bring your name down at all" My heart aches saying it. I really put a line between us now. 

"Who say what you are doing is bad? I am not here to scold you. I am just saying why won't you ask the money from me?" 

..as if. I clenched my teeth, smiling. 

"It's okay. I can do this on my own" 

"You can just ask"

"..I want to do this alone" without you. without depending on you.