Unapologetic (LGBTQ+ Trans MxM)

Chapter 15

It is hard to leave a place you have always called your home, even if it only ever gave you pain. Knowing that this is the last time I’ll be inside here, knowing you can never turn back, just feels weird. When the door closed behind us I felt tears forming behind my eyelids. I would never see my room again, I got as much of my stuff as I could carry, all the important things. My plushy, my guitar, my favourite clothes. But I couldn’t take my whole room. It was not enough.
I know that letting go of my old room, my house, my past was good. My past was toxic. And times are going to be better now, but that doesn’t erase the feeling of comfort it brought me. I hated my life, I really did, but that doesn’t mean that it wasn’t comfortable. It was all I had ever known. It was everything I had. And I just lost it. We are diving into uncharted waters, but at least we are doing it together.
Times are going to be different now, I am going to be different now.
I took a deep breath and started walking. As soon as I was out of the front yard I felt a weight fall off of me. It was done. I was out of this hellhole, for good this time.
Me and my mom walked home, our new home. 

‘How did it go?’ He was sitting in front of me on his bed.
‘It was weird, you know, leaving everything behind’ I said ‘And I might have gone a little bit over the top,’ 
Devin chuckled.
‘What do you mean?’
‘Well… I may have threatened my father with a knife…’
‘You did what?!’ Devin was holding his laugh in.
‘He wouldn’t let us through, okay?’ I said chuckling. ‘I didn’t know what to do!’
‘Why are we laughing about this?’ Devin wiped away his tears.
‘I don’t know! We are so weird.’ I buried my head in my hands and rested it against his chest.
‘I like our weirdness,’ Devin said. ‘I’m glad I met you,’
His hand was in my hair. There was that fluttering in my stomach again.
‘I’m glad I met you too’
He let go and sat next to me against the wall. His legs were raised to his chin, his arms folded around them.
‘Can I ask you something?’ He said.
‘Yeah sure, what’s your question?’
He looked down and took a deep breath.
‘Do you like boys?’
‘What?’
‘No, I’m sorry that was a stupid questio-’
My lips touched his.
‘I like you, if that’s what you are asking.’
He looked at me shocked, but then he leaned in to kiss me. And I kissed him back. He delicately pushed me down on the bed. My hand was in his hair, his soft curly hair. His hand was on my cheek. And our lips were on each other. The world seemed to slow down. Everything seemed to drown out. I was here, and here only, not thinking of my painful past or the mysterious future ahead. I was just here, under his body. 
Someone knocked on the door.
We shot up, and looked at eachother with wide eyes. 
The door opened, it was Devin’s mom.
‘Dinner is almost ready, will you boys be down soon?’
‘We’ll be there,’ Devin said.
The door closed and we heard her walking downstairs again.
We burst out laughing.
Devin looked at me.
‘What are you smiling about?’ I chuckled.
‘Nothing, you are just, so beautiful’ 
I looked down and smiled.
‘Uhm, so does this mean we are like, boyfriends now?’
‘I think so,’ he said ‘I mean, only if you want to’
‘Of course I want to shithead, we literally just kissed!’
‘I know! It’s just… It’s so weird.’ 
He looked at me.
‘You can’t tell my mom, okay?’ he said ‘She doesn’t know.’
‘Don’t you think she’ll support you?’ 
‘I think she will, I mean, I don’t really know, I just just don’t want anything to go wrong. I don’t want to lose her, you know?’ 
'Yeah, I know.’ I said ‘Just know that you don’t owe it to her, to anyone. You don’t have to tell people if you don’t want to.’
‘I know,’
‘We should probably go downstairs,’ I said.
‘Last one downstairs is a rotten egg,’
He said before he kissed me on the cheek and ran downstairs.
‘Hey, wait!’ I laughed.
I laughed so much, much more than I usually do. Tears of joy were streaming down my face. I knew that the bad times were over. And better times have arrived.
I took out my phone and texted Ethan.
‘I lost the challenge,’