Lilies and Lullabies

IV. Sanay

"You're not aware of your own light because they kept you hidden, Miko, but trust me... you're meant to shine- and for others, you're their light."

Those words keep on playing in my head, it's like a lullaby that puts me to sleep at night when my demons are supposed to be alive. I never saw myself as someone's light, I can see myself as a burden and someone who'll drag everyone around me. Silas' words are like the waves that crash in the rocks when you're at the shore. Like a new song that I've heard for the first time.

"Mira," I called the attention of Miracle who's busy preparing her report.

"Hmm?" she hummed.

I poked the side of my cheek using my tongue and sighed. Lumingon siya sa akin, there's a glimpse of worry in her eyes.

"Wala akong problema," pinangunahan ko siya bago pa man magtanong sa akin.

"Hindi ka nawawalan ng problema, Emiko, 'wag ako." she remarked that made me laugh.

"Hindi nga problema..." I insisted.

"Okay, ano? Spill, I'll listen." she said and dropped whatever she's doing right just to face me.

"Is it normal to think about someone's words like... constantly? Not in a bad way, though." I asked.

I know the answer... I just can't stop thinking about the reason. I've heard a lot of things that stain my head and it affects how I see the world. It's always the negative things that keeps me awake at night... and to brush it away, I'd cry myself at night. But this time, I'm sleeping at night replaying those words like a lullaby that my sweet mother keeps singing to put me to sleep.

"Oo, words affect us and our being, you know that, Miko." she stated, I nodded.

Right...

"Bakit?" she asked again.

I sighed, "This is different... I used to think negative remarks from everyone, but this time all I can think of is words from someone."

She squinted her eyes, "Who's that someone?"

"Silas..."

I expected her reaction but I never thought that she'll react like this. Napalakas ang tanong niya sa akin ng 'ano' kaya napagalitan kami ng librarian. I chose to drag her out of the library because we might get punishment for being noisy. Ang grabe naman kasi mag-react ni Mira. I chose to sat on the garden since hindi crowded do'n at malamig dahil sa mga puno at halaman.

I bit my lower lip, weighing the situation if it's okay for me to tell her everything now. I sighed once again and started to tell her how I met Silas. I recall everything where we used to sit on that coconut tree without minding about each other's appearance because it's our presence that we need. Everything... except those stories we shared, especially his. He trusted me with all his pain, I must protect that.

"Oh, my god!" she exclaimed, covering her mouth in shock.

Hindi ko mawari kung saan ba siya gulat: sa amin ba ni Silas o sa karanasan ko kay Tito Fred.

"Girl, I swear, you and Silas-"

"Dane." I corrected her. Maarte kasi 'yon, Mama lang daw niya tumatawag no'n sa kanya. Bukod daw sa akin ay wala nang tatawag no'n sa kanya. As if it wasn't his name.

"E'di Dane, todo gatekeep." she grimaced.

I glared at her. She just laughed at my reaction that made me annoyed again. Isa pang makulit, bagay silang magkapatid ni Silas.

"Anyway, ayon nga! You and Dane really match!" she said, emphasizing Silas' first name. I arched my brows.

"You fit for each other. You're connected like fate really planned for it. From your first meeting!" she exclaimed with a full smile on her face.