Lilies and Lullabies

V. Brave

Days passed and we're always together; Liam, Mira, Silas, and I. Ibang department man si Silas ay halos pareho naman ang schedule namin kaya magkasama kami lagi. Days are getting better and it was lighter than the previous ones, but I can't help but to worry for the upcoming days. Lighter days are temporary but the ugly ones stay so long. Natatakot akong bumawi ang buhay sa akin, the light feeling inside my heart is a sign that another nightmare might come at any moment.

That's how life works for me. Expect the unexpected. No, I already expected every shit I have to deal with after a day of laughter. 

And that night finally comes after a day full of laughter… the nightmare I have to see while wide awake. 

This kind of nightmare is worse than dying in your sleep, kasi rito… ramdam mo lahat. 

“Emi, putangina! Talagang itatago mo ‘yang putangina mong kapatid?!” sigaw ni Tito Fred habang pilit inaabot si Mirae na nakatago sa likod.

I am protecting my sister from him, “Don't you shout at my sister again!” 

Curse me all you want, ‘wag lang si Mirae. My sister is too young to hear this shit. I can take everything, just don't touch my sister. Mama was in the back, holding Tito Fred. She has bruises on her body, he's becoming worse day by day. Why is he so livid, wala nang gabing pinalampas para sa buhay ng kapatid ko. 

“Tangina ka, iyang kapatid mo nga ang may kasalanan! Binasag niya ‘yong alak, masyadong tanga!” he shouted, he reached my sister's arm and pull her harshly. 

I tried to push him with all my might, I succeeded but he grabbed my hair and pushed me down the floor. I felt something painful on my wrist but instead of paying attention to that, I immediately covered my sister who's about to get hit by a belt. It was leather so the friction left a painful impact on my skin. I feel like my skin is burning. 

I hugged Mirae and caressed her hair, her sobs are killing me and I can't do anything. She can't even utter a word because of her sobs, basang-basa na ang mukha niya dahil sa luha. Her eyes are red and she really looks pale right now. 

Tito Fred harshly held me in my arms and slapped me, it made me land on the cold floor once again. I didn't shed any tears, I can't even feel any fear. I looked him in the eye. That made him pissed even more so he slapped me again. Okay lang, kaya ko lahat… ‘wag lang si Mama at Mirae. 

Tumalikod si Tito Fred dahil sa hawak ni Mama kaya humarap ako sa kapatid ko. 

“Mirae, punta ka sa kwarto… locked the door and never let anyone enter except ate, ha?” bilin ko sa kanya. 

She nodded, I wiped her tears and muttered, “Call Lola and Tita, don't let Tito Fred hear…” I helped her stand up and secretly pushed her a little so she could run. 

“Stop hurting my mom, you fucking demon!” I scream with all my might… I can't stand living with a demon anymore. Using my strength, I grab my bag and hit his nape.

The chokehold is too much, it was draining. It's killing me day by day… no'ng una kaya ko pang tiisin kung ako lang ang sisigawan dahil sanay na ako, kaya ko naman tiisin. ‘Wag lang si Mirae… ‘wag lang si Mama. 

Hit me, curse me, I don't care because I'm dead a long time ago… pero ibang usapan kapag si Mama na at si Mirae. 

“Hayop ka, wala kang respeto!” he said and put his hand on my neck to choke me.

I stared at him in his eyes without even flinching, it's giving me a hard time to breathe but who cares. I don't care if I die right now, basta kasama ko siyang mamamatay. We're both useless anyway.