From Dreams to Nightmares

Chapter 16

Octavia's perspective

I've reached heaven!

I once thought I was in love! I was stupid. How could I believe something so banal, so passionless, love. There was physical attraction, I'm sure of that, but love is out of the question. I have had physical relations with other girls. Beautiful girls, but not as hot as this one. Her kiss was like summer rain, it's addictive, you want to enjoy it endlessly knowing that it can hurt you. Her full lips were as sweet as seasonal fruit and her hot breath was burning me inside. Her lascivious voice emanated extraordinarily torturous moans like a fast symphony. I thought I wouldn't be able to stop, I thought I would give her everything, let every piece of me be hers, let her take what she wants and call them hers. The way her hips squirmed in my lap hitting the best spots made me dizzy. How can a novice put me down like that?

If Zoe hadn't called me to tell me that the girl was uneducated in carnal pleasures, I wouldn't have realized it in a thousand years. She knew exactly what to touch, how to do it, just to blow your mind. And I would ask me now, if she hadn't called me and I would have given in, what would have happened next? What kind of memory would I have been to her? I couldn't bear to leave a disappointing memory of her first time in her mind!

A few days have passed since then and the thought does not give me peace, the memory of her does not give me peace, the dreams that were once beautiful turned into nightmares of fear that I might lose her.

But can I lose something that was once nothing of mine?

Her voice rings in my head persistently every minute, second, of my existence. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't even train anymore. I just can't concentrate. When we are in the same room she doesn't even look at me. And watching her day in and day out with that annoying, pretentious guy just pisses me off.

It's lunch time, I keep my backpack firmly on my shoulder and enter. I look for Arron who was already waiting for me at a table. I greet him and sit down, the noise echoes from every table, but we also sneak our conversation through it. He has become a reliable friend since I moved here. I ended up telling him anything. And what does a gay man love most after men? Gossip! This guy likes to gossip all day long. "You see that the princess doesn't take her eyes off you, it seems that the boyfriend doesn't pay attention to her..." he tells me laughing and I turn my gaze towards her, he was really right, she looks at me, measures me with her eyes, every detail, every movement.
 
When her eyes meet mine I see her roll her eyes and look away. I was seething with anger for that gesture. Another time she would roll her eyes with pleasure, now she does it with disgust.

"I can't even imagine what you did to make her look at you like that!" Arron tells me and I give him an infuriated look. "I don't understand now where this attitude comes from, what is she trying to do? Does she think this is a game and we're playing?" Now I was really furious , then I see how Sebastian leans down and kisses her and she kissed him back, it was a whole make out scene before my eyes, I correct now I'm really mad.

I see black in front of my eyes! I wanted to get up from the table but my dear friend stopped me. "There's no point in making a scene, no one knows what you've done, you'll be the subject of gossip at the high school!" i hate how right he is.

"Do you want me to be the laughingstock of some rich kids?" I don't even understand why I was so nervous, the fact that a few days ago she wanted to give herself to me completely and now she watches me kiss someone else so easily or the fact that some idiot sitting on her right is only with her for the popularity that she has it and yet has the privilege of kissing it in front of everyone.