36 : a grovelling session

10.9K 847 383
                                        

— ☆⋆。𖦹°‧ Rayyan's Pov :

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.

𖦹° Rayyan's Pov :

4 days. 4 days of extreme torture and intolerable ignorance. well, I deserve it.

It's been 4 days now that Sehmat doesn't seem to forgive me and talk to me. It's rare that I get to hear her voice, while it's only me who keeps blabbing things and trying to make her talk to me. She's been so cold, I can't explain.

She bores me into the ground with her intense deadly glares; she doesn't smile anymore. It's been a while since I saw that beautiful smile of hers. She doesn't cuddle with me anymore, no kisses, no hugs, nothing.

In my this house which feels like home when she's here, there's only an understandable silence along with the noise of my shattering heart and my hope.

hope that she will forgive me.

I did try my best to ask for her forgiveness, and I'm still doing it. Every damn day, there's this hope in my heart that she'll forgive me because she told me she loves me.

I don't know how loving someone feels, but I've heard that you don't stay mad at someone you love deeply. But I don't even know how loving deeply is and if sehmat loves me deeply.

The feeling of being loved by Sehmat is even worse than being ignored by her because they're two different things.

The first one is what I don't deserve, her love. and the second one is what she should do to me, her torment. It's hurt, yes! But I know that I'll carry the same pain I gave her until I die.

she healed me, she healed my insomnia, letting out about my past to her mended my heart.

She made me smile, she made me laugh and what not? She made me fall for her, she made me friends with such amazing people.

She gave me another reason to live, she became my reason to live, she, my wife, sehmat waseem, healed me.

And guess what I did to her in return? I broke her, shattered her and destroyed her. I crumbled her trust, crushed her heart and gave her a huge reason to not love a monster like me. A monster who don't deserve her.

She's my healer and I'm her destroyer.

Heaving a huge sigh, I stirred the spoon inside the cup of hot chocolate as I put lots of marshmallows on it.

She hasn't been eating anything I make for her; instead, she doesn't even cook anything herself because she's scared she might mess up my kitchen again.

So, she probably orders food from outside, making me store all the food I made for her back in the fridge.

Like every other day, I held my horses and walked towards her with a cup of hot chocolate and marshmallows.

She was sitting on her couch with some document files and stuff. I stood right in front of her and passed the cup of hot chocolate to her.

"Here, I made hot chocolate for you, and I added your favorite marshmallows," I said with a small smile.

𝐄𝐇𝐒𝐀𝐀𝐒 - essence of loveWhere stories live. Discover now