You must've passed out or they forced you to, because you woke up in a panic when you realized you weren't back in that living room with your Natasha.
You searched the blindingly white, empty room with a glass wall that you could see some people monitoring something – you, most like, behind, but you just sat up with your back against the far wall. You were breathing heavily, trying not to cry, when something hit you as your mind caught up with the realization of your surroundings.
Everything had been a dream.
You immediately searched your person, not finding your dagger or your book that you sometimes tucked into the back of your waistband, and you slumped down, burying your face in your hands as you began to quietly cry.
You missed Natasha, even if what you went through wasn't real, it felt real, and you were so tired of being a science experiment. So tired of being observed and scrutinize and tested on, poked and prodded until you passed out and woke up someplace else. You felt like you weren't in control, but when you were with her – dream or not – you finally felt at peace. Even when you were settling in the tower they had brought you to, you felt safer than when you were hiding out in some abandoned apartment building.
"It was real," You whispered almost inaudibly to yourself, "It was real. She was real, it had to be real," You sniffled, "She felt so real."
"Y/n?"
You lifted your head so fast you almost got whiplash and then you widened your eyes when the voice you recognized came from the redhead behind the glass, giving you a small, sad smile as she came into view.
"Hey," She stood there with her arms at her sides, not knowing what to do, "You're okay, you're just in here to keep you safe, okay? I promise, nobody's going to hurt you."
You let out a shaky breath, feeling a chill go through you, "You promise."
"And I do my best to keep those."
Her smile was reassuring, everything earlier had been real, and you were still in the tower – or so you assumed anyway, but you only nodded, silently telling her you understood and trusted her. You had to put your faith in something when you felt like you were completely lost and who better to do that with than Natasha.
Then she did something that surprised you. She slowly sat down, criss crossing her legs so her knees were practically touching the glass. She was as close as she could be, earning murmurs from the people working behind her nearby, and she chose to ignore them, smiling softly at you.
Your eyes flicked over the machines and the people working them, panic starting to rise in your tightened chest, before Natasha spoke up again, "Eyes on me, sweetheart, come on."
You immediately found her looking back at you with a determined look in her eyes, a soft smirk crossing her lips when you didn't hesitate to listen.
You were uncomfortable, even in the sports bra and shorts they gave you – not wanting to bundle you up when you were reaching heat levels they've never seen before – but you were still clammy and nauseous.
Unknown to you, the room you were in was temperature controlled and it was well below freezing, working as ice packs against your skin, but you hardly noticed.
"Remember when I cut up my knees pretty badly climbing down from the tree you eventually carved our initials into?" She wondered and you missed the lab techs raising their eyebrows, curiously looking between you both, but then she was continuing, "You sat with me and cleaned it after Yelena got a few things from our house," Her voice, paired with the memory, had you letting your eyes flutter closed as you thought back, "You put a bandage over both and kissed each one. Saying that I'd be okay because I had people to sit with me through the pain and it was just a cut or a bruise – you told me exactly how many days it would take to heal," She paused, her expression hardening a little, "That's when I knew you weren't alright in that house, but I never got a chance to do anything about it because we left a few days after that."
Your lip trembled, "You promised you wouldn't leave me. You promised I'd be okay – then he said...he said..."
"Who?" She whispered, "Who is he?"
You shook your head, dismissing it, "You're okay, though?" You peered back up at her with concern lacing your voice, "You and Yelena are safe, and – and okay?"
She pressed her lips together into a flat line before tightly answering, "We're fine. She's coming to visit you soon, but I'm worried about you. Don't worry about us."
You let out a deep breath, ignoring the second part completely, because whenever you had someone to care for, you had to keep them safe, protect them from things. You tried to with Sam, but it got him killed. You failed. And you wouldn't let that happen again. You'd feel better when you saw Yelena again too. To know she's safe and doing well.
"Y/n, you weren't even six years old when we left," She started again, but you had leaned back against the wall with your eyes shut, still feeling uncomfortable, but wondering if maybe you could sleep for a bit, "You were Yelena's age and...and I know it only got worse because you're sitting here now and in so much pain. I don't know what they did to you, but we're going to help you and then I'm going to find out who did this and make them pay."
You chuckled lightly at that, "You sound like that one guy in the movie," You did a poor imitation of a mob boss' accent, but you were so tired, "We will find them and make them pay – on my ma's life, they'll pay for this."
She turned towards one of the workers, still sitting down, "Can we get her a pillow and blanket or something? She shouldn't have to sleep on the bare floor."
"Sorry, Doctor Banner said it wasn't a good idea to add things to the room, it could give her something to...use."
"Seriously?" Her voice was flat and unamused, "You really think a soft blanket and pillow could be used as a weapon? Are you stupid?"
"Agent Roman-"
"No, really, what kind of dumbasses are being hired here because-"
"He's right," You cut in and her attention turned back to you, "If this goes bad – when I get at my worst, my body kind of..." You made lazy, vague hand motions, "I'd probably end my life with anything I could get my hands on. It usually doesn't get that bad though – my caretaker would find me and force me into one of those comas if it did."
It went dead silent with that confession, and you started humming under your breath, playing with the loose thread on your shorts.
"Can you read to me?" You asked her after a while, meeting her eyes desperately, and you wanted to ask why hers were wet with unshed tears, but you really needed a distraction, and you didn't want to know if she was crying for you, "I left my book..." You trailed off quietly, looking around the room she was in with narrowed, accusing eyes before you got up and sat against the glass where she was, whispering, "It's in the top drawer of my desk under the note you left me. Can you get it and read it to me? Please?" You took a deep breath, "Tell me you still have the dagger too."
"I do."
"Can I see it?" You asked, just as quiet, and she seemed confused, but then nodded, pulling it out of her pocket to hold up, and you smiled with content, "Thanks," You looked to her again, "The book, though? Please? It helps."
"Alright," She whispered back, "I'll be back in five minutes."
You let out a calming breath, knowing you'd count the seconds until she returned because you needed to, "Okay, hurry, please."
She nodded, getting up and rushing off without looking back, determined to get back to you before those five minutes were up. So, you sat there, trying your best to ignore all the curious eyes on you as you focused on your breathing.
