Batman 1966: The Wizard of Oz

If I Only Had A Heart

The scene changes where Dick, Scarecrowette and Toto walk down the yellow brick road next to the apple trees. The Wicked Witch of the West watches them from behind the tree.

Dick: Holy fruits and vegetables, apples! Oh look! (He walks up to the apple tree then he picks one off but the tree grabs the apple and slapped Dick's hand) Ouch!

Apple tree: (Angrily) What do you think you're doing?

Dick: We've been walking a long ways and I was hungry and... (Realizing) Did you say something?

Apple tree: He was hungry!

Apple tree 2: He was hungry!

Apple tree: (To Dick) Well, how would you like to have someone come along and pick something off of you?

Dick: Oh gosh! I keep forgetting I'm in Gotham.

Scarecrowette: Come along, Dick. You don't want any of those apples.

Apple tree: Are you hinting my apples aren't what they ought to be?

Scarecrowette: Oh, no. It's just that he doesn't like little green worms!

Apple tree: (Angrily, begins to attack them) Oh, you!

The tree tries to grab Dick which causes him to scream.

Scarecrowette: (Whispering to Dick) I'll show how to get apples. (Then she makes a face at a tree which causes him to throw apples them) Hooray! I guess that did it! Help yourself.

As Dick and Scarecrow pick up the apples off the ground. Dick sees something and he knocks lightly on the foot and the leg. Dick stands up and sees a silver faced man thats wearing a funnel cap this is the Tin man he is standing rusted solid.

Dick: (Astonished) Why, it's a man! (To Scarecrowette) A man made out of tin!

Scarecrowette: (Surprised) What?

She runs up to see the Tin man.

Dick: Yes! Look!

Tin Man: (Muffled) Oil can! Oil can!

Dick: Did you say something?

Tin Man: (Muffled) Oil can.

Dick: He said oil can.

Scarecrowette: Oil can what?

Dick: Oil can? (Sees the oil can and takes it) Oh, here it is. Where do you want to be oiled first?

Tin Man: (Muffled) My mouth! My mouth!

Scarecrowette: He said his mouth. (Takes the oil can and squirts it into his mouth) The other side.

Gives it to Dick and he squirts oil into the other side of his mouth

Tin Man: (Begins speaking) My-My goodness! I can talk again! Oh! Oil my arms, please. Oil my elbows. (Dorothy oils Tin Man's joints)

Dick: (Hands the oil can to Scarecrowette) Here. (Scarecrowette oils his other elbow and he lowers the axe to the ground) Did that hurt?

Tin Man: No, it feels wonderful. I've held that axe up for ages.

Dick: Goodness! How did you ever get like this?

Tin Man: Well, about a year ago, I was chopping that tree, when suddenly it began to rain. And right in the middle of the chop, I rusted solid. And I've been that way ever since.

Dick: Well, you're perfect now.

Tin Man: (To Scarecrowette) My neck. My neck. (Scarecrowette oils Tin Man's neck) (To Dick) Perfect? Bang on my chest if you think I'm perfect. Go ahead, bang on it!