Batman 1966: The Wizard of Oz

Wonders of the World

The camera switches with Dick carrying his suitcase and basket among with Toto walk down the country dirty road and they crossed a wooden bridge. Then they encounter a horse-drawn carnival wagon down in an embankment which says "Professor Marvel, Acclaimed by the Crowned Heads of Europe, Let Him Read Your Past, Present, and Future in His Crystal, Also Juggling and Sleight of Hand." A man comes out of his wagon he is dressed in formal clothes and wears a black neckerchief around his collar this is Professor Marvel.

Professor Marvel: Well, well, well! Houseguests, eh? (Chuckling goes to his fire to roast a hot dog) And who might you be? (Dick was about to answer) No, no. Now don't tell me. Let's see. You're... You're traveling in disguise. No, that's not right. You're... You're going on a visit. No, I'm wrong. Let's see what we- You're, uh, You're running away.

Dick: How did you guess?

Professor Marvel: (Chuckling) Professor Marvel never guesses, he knows. Now, why are you running away? (Dick was about to answer) No, no. Now don't tell me. They uh They don't understand you at home. They don't appreciate you. You want to see other lands. Big cities, big mountains, big oceans.

Dick: Holy psychic, it's just like you could read what was inside of me.

Professor Marvel: Yeah.

Toto takes the hot dog while Professor Marvel is not looking.

Dick: (Chiding to Toto) Toto, that's not polite! We haven't been asked yet.

Professor Marvel: Oh, he's perfectly welcome. As one dog to another, huh? (Gets back on subject) Now, let's see where were we?

Dick: Oh please Professor, why can't we go with you and see all the crowned heads of Europe?

Professor Marvel: Do you know any? Oh, you mean the thing? Yes. Well, uh I never do anything without consulting my crystal first. Let's go inside here. We'll just come along. I'll show you. (Professor Marvel leads Dick and Toto inside his wagon.) That's right. Here. Sit down right here. That's it. (Dick sits down on the chair) This is the same genuine, magic, authentic crystal...used by the priests of Isis and Osiris in the days of Pharaoh's of Egypt. (Puts on his turban) In which Cleopatra saw the approach of Julius Caesar and Marc Anthony. And so on, so on, and so on. Now you'd better close your eyes my child, for a moment... (Dick closes his eyes) in order to be better be in tuned with the Infinite. (He rummages his basket and looks at a photo of Dick and Harriet) We can't do those things without reaching out into the Infinite. (Music starts to play.) Ta-da!
Oh yes indeed!
And now, Mirabile dictu et curibus pluribus unum!
Or to use the vernacular
Behold Professor Marvel's Magical Lantern
To see the wonders of the world you won't need to go too far from home
Not too far at all
(Singing) Dick there are other ways
To see the world, so shift your gaze
To this extravagant appliance
Mainly magic, slightly science
With no stressful travel plans
As you don't have to move from Gotham, see?
The unabridged assembled wonders of the world
Fly the coop and cross the ocean
Time and distance set in motion
Grab this chance to wander yonder
All the earth is ours to ponder
From the poles to the equator
No one could provide a greater view
There's the Nile, now some don't give a hoot
That it's the longest river
But we know in miles of course it's four-one-eighty
Seas to source
It's nature at it's most prolific
Pyramids are quite terrific too
So welcome to the waiting wonders of the world
Sometimes we may feel something simply can't be real
Like a road beneath your feet that's paved with gold
I would be inclined to maintain an open mind
For truth is very strange if truth be told
There's old popacatepetl
New York City, glass and metal
Everest unconquered mountain
Over five miles high and countin'
Here's the arctic pole and polar bears
And northern lights and solar flares
A myriad exquisite wonders of the world
Imagine red and blue on the mountains of Peru
And Sahara sands of yellow burning white
In jungles black and green fearsome creatures never seen
Other than right now- oh! That's not right!
(Spoken) I'm so sorry, that was from my private collection
Moving rapidly along
(Singing) We don't have to take it slowly
Here's Tibet, remote and holy
Angel falls in Venezuela
Eiffel Tower, humpback whale!
A moment feeling all the thrills
Of being near the seven hills of Rome
Oh so many sights to savour
This has merely been a flavor
Maybe time for one more wonder
Very strange it looks like thunder
But the point that I'm conveying
Is you see it all while staying home
And home is one of many wonders of the world
The unabridged assembled wonders of the world
Professor Marvel's patent wonders of the world (the song ends.) Yes, that's all right. Now you can open them. (Dick opens his eyes) We'll gaze into the crystal. Ah. (Looks at the image in the crystal ball) What's this I see? A mansion with a picket fence and a barn with a weathervane of a running horse.

Dick: That's Wayne Manor!

Professor Marvel: Yes. (Continues looking at his crystal ball) Yes. There's a woman. She's wearing a polka-dot dress. Her face is careworn.

Dick: That's Aunt Harriet.

Professor Marvel: Yes. Her name is Harriet Cooper.

Dick: That's right. What's she doing?

Professor Marvel: Well I, uh I can't quite see. Why she's crying. Someone has hurt her. Someone has just about broken her heart.

Dick: Me?

Professor Marvel: Well, it's uh, someone she loves very much. Someone she's been very kind to. Someone she's taken care of in sickness.

Dick: Gosh, I had the measles once and she stayed right by me every minute.

Professor Marvel: Uh-huh.

Dorothy Gale: What's she doing now?

Professor Marvel: (Looking at the crystal ball) She's uh.. What's this? Well, she's, she's putting her hand on her heart. Oh, she's dropping down on the bed.

Dick: Oh no, no!

Professor Marvel: Well, that's all, the crystal's gone dark.

Dick: (Gets up from the chair, concerned) Holy heart attack! You don't suppose she could be really sick do you? (Grabs his basket) Oh, I've got to go home right away!

Professor Marvel: But, what's this? I thought you were going along with me!

Dick: Oh no, no, I have to get to her right away!

Professor Marvel: Huh?

Dick: (To Toto) Come on, Toto! Come on! Come on! (Picks up Toto and turns back to Professor Marvel) Goodbye, Professor Marvel and thanks a lot!

Then he leaves for home as the storm approaches

Professor Marvel: (Goes to his horse) Better get under cover, Sylvester! There's a storm blowing, a whopper... to speak in the vernacular of the peasantry! (To himself) Poor little kid. I hope he get's home all right.