Janto (One Shots)

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Ianto POV:

I don't think any of the others really understand how i feel right now.
Lisa is dead.
The woman i love is dead.
The woman i wanted to spend the rest of my life with is dead.
She isn't coming back.
She will never come back.
My suspension ended yesterday, meaning today will be my first day back at Torchwood Three. Its 5:30 am. My alarm just rang. I don't particularly need it. I always wake up at 5:30. I barely slept, I've barely slept since that day. Every time i try, all i see if her dead body. All i hear are her screams as she got torn apart. All i can smell is that horrible stench of blood. All reminding me of how she is dead and its all my fault. I promised her i would save her. I promised. I never break my promises.

I get out of bed. I start my day by grabbing a cup of coffee. I think i will be living off of coffee today. After i finish my drink i go and have a quick shower and brush my teeth, i barely have energy to, but i force myself to do so. After that i put on my suit. I put on a black suit with a blue shirt and dark red tie. By then it's 6:40. I take a quick look in the mirror to ensure i look presentable and professional, and as if i haven't spent the last 7 days in a dark room on my own. I grab my things and go out to the car. I get into my car at 6:45 and drive to the bay. I pull up at 6:57 and that gives me exactly 3 minutes to walk over to the hub entrance

I enter the 'tourist information office' and stand there for a moment. Once again I get flooded with thoughts. I think about the fact that once the others leave to go and do actual things and leave me here, i won't be able to go check on her. She won't be there. I will just be left alone with my thoughts. Brilliant. Exactly  what i want. I proceed to make my way to the main section of the hub.

"Good Morning Ianto, Good to see you" Jack says to me as i walk through the door. He doesn't sound happy, nor annoyed, nor anything really. He just says it emotionlessly. "Morning, Sir" I say in response, avoiding eye contact with him. I don't want to see him. He could've tried to save her. I think he noticed me avoiding eye contact with him. "Coffee?" I ask. "That would be brilliant, thank you Ianto". With his word, I walk over to the coffee machine and begin to prepare his coffee.

As I prepare Jack's coffee, the alarm goes off alerting us that the door to the main part of the hub has been opened. That will be Tosh. She is always first to arrive, well, after me. And after Jack. I hear her say something to Jack, I couldn't quite make it out but i am pretty sure it was along the lines of whether or not i was back today. She walked over to the corner where I was. "Hey Ianto, welcome back!" When she said it, it sounded happy. Like she actually noticed I was gone. I give her a smile, an attempt to react in a cheerful manor. "I am making Jack coffee, would you like some?" "That would be lovely, thank you" I look back down at the machine. I hear Tosh's voice. "Oh, here is a little box of chocolate, just thought it might be nice. Anyways, I'll see you" as she said that she put the chocolate onto the counter in front of me. That's nice. I have always liked Tosh, she's always been nice to me. Although, she probably did this out of pity. I smile at her again as she walks away. 

A moment later the alarm goes off again and i hear Owen and Gwen walk in arguing about how to say Llanfair­pwllgwyngyll­gogery­chwyrn­drobwll­llan­tysilio­gogo­goch. They're both babbling on, until Gwen pops her head over "Morning Ianto, could you get Owen and me a coffee please? Thank you" and then she immediately goes back to her conversation, hardly giving me a moment to respond. I give her a nod, although she didn't see it. Considering she's supposed to be the caring one of the team, I don't think she's particularly good at it.  I go back to finishing the coffee. Luckily, I knew they'd all ask for coffee and prepared to make enough for all of them. I always have. I always will. For as long as I'm stuck here. Once i finish making all their coffee's exactly how they like it, i take the cups to their respective desks. After i do that i take Jack's cup to his office.