WHAT COULDʼVE
HAZE
“CLASS DISMISSED.”
I immediately dashed out through the door. I need to go home early. I need to study.
Habang mabilis akong naglalakad, napagtanto kong hindi muna umuwi. I need to borrow a book from the library as what our professor told us earlier. Itʼs available on different bookstores and could cost a lot. Itʼs not that I donʼt afford it, actually I can but Iʼd prefer to have it now. I need to study hard so that I would pass my exams. Gosh... I still have missing assignments.
I rushed through where the library was located. It has been years since I went there. I remembered my sister, she was a librarian there.
I canʼt go there. I donʼt want her to see me. Alam ko namang wala namang mali kung makita niya ako pero paano kung tanungin niya ako kung bakit biglaan ang pagpunta ko roon? I would be honest that Iʼll only borrow a book.
Hindi naman iyon ang problema ko pero paano kung bigla niya akong tanungin about kay Cyrus. I know she notices that. And I am aware that she was there when Cyrus rushed to get to our house because heʼs afraid that something bad happened to me. I donʼt wanna hear her raining me questions about how Iʼm ruining my life.
Iʼve had a lot of absences at class. Iʼve missed a lot of quizzes and short exams.
They would probably resent me if I fail...
But was it really my fault that I was losing passion for everything I do?
Maybe going to the library and meeting my sister there was a bad idea. Iʼll just buy the book and everythingʼs gonna be fine.
Wait... I donʼt have time! I need to get that book immediately or Iʼll fail my exams. I donʼt want to ruin Momʼs expectations. Or rather, I donʼt want them to think that I was a good for nothing.
It was a man that I first saw at the library. “What can I help you with?” he asked me.
I thought I was lucky that it wasnʼt Frankie.
It was my first time talking to that man. “Iʼm here to borrow a book.” I said to Marcus who was about to stand up from the librarianʼs table.
He leads the way towards the shelves, I followed him. “Sure, Iʼll help you with it.” he muttered.
“Marcus...” I whispered his name, recalling if I said it right.
“Yeah?”
“Please donʼt tell Frankie about this.” I clasped my hands as I went over him.
Marcus simply nodded. “Hmm.”
That was fast. “Arenʼt you gonna ask me why?”
“No.” he paused from walking. “I figured that if I would, Iʼd only cause trouble to the both of you.”
He was an advance thinker. No wonder he was a match for Frankie. His respect might be something that made her fall in love with him.
After that very short conversation with Marcus, I was rather assured that Iʼd go home with a calm heart.
Sinabi ko sa kaniya ang libro na hinahanap ko at nagboluntaryo na siya na ang kukuha nito para sa akin. Pumayag naman ako at naupo na lang sa hindi kalayuan mula sa pintuan.
