TIES
“IʼVE HATED YOU FOR SO LONG. It should be easy for me to hate him too for hurting me this bad. But I...” she sobs, “I canʼt hate him.”
“You hate me that much that you excuse him now?” I could hear frustration intensifies from that manʼs voice.
How bad I wanted to leave the place Iʼm in right now. I know that they couldnʼt see me here, but Iʼll never let myself get caught eavesdropping. Otherwise, I canʼt move my feet at any direction I point it. It seems that my whole body has its own mind. It refuses to get out of the situation.
“Heʼs always nice to me. He always cared for me. His reasons are valid enough. Hating him only invalidates everything Iʼm feeling now.”
“So did I to you.” he said. “Canʼt you see what heʼs doing? His eyes werenʼt looking towards you. His eyes were on someone else. Why canʼt you... Never mind.” dugtong ng lalaki. Sumilip ako upang makita ang ekspresyon niya. The way he said such words could only lead to either make Haze see herself stupid and change her mind or he only wants to be honest and console her.
“I didnʼt cheat on you. Iʼve only set eyes on you and cared for you. I donʼt quite understand why you still choose to hate me.” hoplessly, he sighed as he shook his head in disbelief. He looks through the window. “After seeing that heʼs already doing you so wrong, you couldnʼt hate him even just a bit... But youʼve loathed me like I was the worst person you could ever meet.”
She then huffed, put on a frail smile and spoke, “You couldnʼt make me smile like how Cyrus does. You two were obviously different.”
Hold on a second... Why does Haze sounds oddly frail? What happened to her while I was away?
“Come back to me, Haze...” the man kneeled down while looking deeply into her eyes. I could now see clearly who that man is.
The look on Hazeʼs face, it was filled of disbelief. “Hindi pa ba sapat ʼyung sakit na naidulot mo sa akin, Nate? Hindi pa ba sapat na dahil sa ʼyo nawala ako sa sarili ko?”
“Haze, Hindi ko kakayaning makita kang ganito. Ayaw ko lang naman ʼyung masaktan ka sa maling tao.”
Just who is he talking about here, huh? Me? Iʼm the wrong one now? If I was the wrong guy that Haze choses til this day then why did she left him? Look whoʼs talking now.
“Pero kinaya mong makita na nasasaktan ako noon dahil sa ʼyo?”
“Believe me. Please. I was always worried about you. You couldnʼt tell because you were always about him. Well maybe thatʼs the reason why. Maybe I couldnʼt help you everytime you vent out to me because it kept flashing in the back of my mind that youʼll only feel better if it were to him.”
I clenched my fist, struggling to control from raging. So this is the type of guy you were Nathan Lawrence. Kaya siguro hindi siya kayang iwanan ni Haze noon ay dahil sa ganitong mga salita. It was all make-believes. Gaslighting.
I could see from the distance, Haze lowered her head, showing her hopelessness and confusion.
“Let me take you home again. I know youʼre still not feeling well because of me.”
Just what does he meant by that?! Take her home? Again? This didnʼt happened once? And whatʼs this Iʼm hearing... He did something that put her into her state now?
...
MY MIND FELT TERRIBLY OVERWHELMED. Bumalik ako sa main hall dahil hindi naman talaga ako dapat umalis dito. I might get scolded but Iʼm confident that I have something to excuse myself.
Unang bumungad sa akin ang pagsalubong ni Ashley. “Saan ka galing, Cyrus?”
My mind strangely went blank. I didnʼt know if I should just tell her or just make up an alibi. I couldnʼt choose between speaking up the truth and form an alibi. So I came up to thinking of a better option. “Are we called in yet?” tanong ko sa kaniya.
“Malapit na ang announcement of winners.” balita niya.
Tumango ako at napatingin sa stage. Andoon na ngayon ang emcee. Bumaling ako sa kaniya ulit at ngumiti. “Mukhang sakto lang ang dating ko.”
Kumapit siya sa braso ko at mariin na pinikit ang kaniyang mata. “Sana manalo tayo.”
“I hope so too.” tanging tugon ko.
“Letʼs call on all the participants here on stage.” anunsyo ng emcee.
Idinilat na ni Ashley ang mata at nagkatinginan kami. Sheʼs still grabbing my arm as we both walked our way back on stage together with Adrian and the others.
Ang spotlight ay nagpalipat-lipat sa bawat magkapares. Nagsimula ang malakas na hiyawan ng mga estudyanteng kasama namin ngayon dito sa main hall. Ang mga lobong hugis puso ay itinataas ng iba at ang iba naman ay nakahawak sa kanilang banner na may pangalan ng kani-kanilang pambato.
“The winner for ‘Two Hearts, One Tangoʼ dance competition would be...” The nerve-wracking ambience intensifies as the emcee paused. “The hottest talk of the campus! No other than Cyrus Bastien and Ashley Lewis!”
The confettis spread the whole area in sync. The spotlight draws every attention to us. At the very moment, my heart was beating normally. I am happy that we won—also grateful—but winning in this competition isnʼt what Iʼm here for.
I was lost in the loudness of the crowd. I was there standing. Just standing. “Cyrus, the trophy.” bulong sa akin ni Ashley. That caught me off in daze.
Kumurap ako ng ilang ulit bago kunin ang trophy na nilalahad ng emcee. Itinaas ko ito sa ere at malapad na ngumiti sa mga tao. Si Ashley naman ay abot tainga ang ngiti na kumakaway sa mga ibang studyante.
...
“WHERE IS SHE?” Frankie asked as soon as everyone left the main hall except for me, Ashley, Marcus, and Frankie. “Nahanap mo ba si Haze?” With her forehead furrowed and the calmness in her voice, she really seemed to be trying all her best to not to lose control because of how worried she was.
Bumuntong hininga ako. “Yes.” saad ko. I wasnʼt lying one bit. But I couldnʼt tell the reason. I once had a conversation with Frankie alone and how she told me to keep Haze far from Nathan because she didnʼt like that guy to be the one Haze would date. Given that Frankie hates that guy, she would worry more if she knew that her only sister is with that guy.
“Asan na siya?” Matalim na tumingin si Frankie sa mata ko. I dared to look away as I fell silent. “Why couldnʼt you answer me, Cyrus?” Her voice raised.
“Nasa classroom siya.” matipid kong sagot.
“Hinayaan mo lang siya na manatili roʼn?!” she grabbed the collar of my maroon long-sleeves. “I told you she was sick! I trusted you to take care of my sister. You shouldʼve take her home!” she was fuming and got out of her own control. Marcus gently pulled her back while she was on the verge of tears. “Why did you left her alone, Cyrus? I trusted you...!”
“When I saw her, it seemed like she wouldnʼt even want to talk to me.” Bumaba ang tingin ko sa sahig. Meeting her glare would only make things worse.
“If something bad happens to her, I will cut your ties with her.”
