Death of a Bachelor

#10 Telling you my past

Simone clasped her hands together as she tried to calm herself down, staring at the warm glass of milk in front of her. Maybe that would make her feel more at ease than pinching her palm. She swallowed nervously, her mind racing with thoughts. She glanced at Lewis, who was standing in front of her, staring at the five positive pregnancy tests and the pregnancy result laid out on the kitchen counter. She was scared that she couldn’t read his expression.

Being a mother is never one of her goal in life, it was still imprinted on her mind how her Mother and Father suffered emotionally and financially she still remember when she woke up and heard her parents fighting about money, how her mother secretly cries everytime she sees her daughter struggling from the pain and losing hope to live. Simone didn't want to experience that kind of pain her parents felt, being a parent scared her.

What she need to do now?

"Simone?" Lewis voice broke through her thoughts she looked at Lewis, he was already sitting in the kitchen stool next to her, he is staring into her eyes. She hadn’t even noticed when he moved closer, or that he was holding her right hand. His touch was warm, and somehow, it made her feel a bit calmer. "there is one thing running through my mind now"

"what is it?"

He took a deep breath. He wasn't entirely sure if he was thinking clearly, but this was the only solution he could come up with that might help them. This is what his heart screamed. Was he in the right mind? If not, he hoped someone would snap him out of it. He stared at the woman sitting next to him, the woman he couldn't erase from his mind–this is the woman he had gotten pregnant.

He closed his eyes before staring again at her eyes "will you mary me?"

Silence. Lewis heard nothing but the fast beating of his heart the room felt stifling, the silence between them thick and suffocating. He watched Simone intently, how she took her hand out of him and shook her head.

Simone took a deep breath "a-are you out of your mind?" she asked weakly it almost whispered "I'm not joking about this Lewis, proposing—or f*cking marriage couldn't help me and t-this child in my womb!"

He was confused.

"do you think marriage wouldn't help my child?" he spat

"are you well?" she asked and shrugged "I-I can't have this Lewis"

She looked away from Lewis and turned her attention to other direction she was stunned for a moment when she saw a familiar painting, that was the painting she painted the Mi querido Papá.

"What do you mean?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. "Simone, what do you mean?" he repeated more firmly, hoping to draw her attention back to him. "I don't f*cking understand you"

Simone finally looked up, her eyes filled with a mixture of sadness, fear and uncertainty. "I-I'm still too young to have this baby in my life, Lewis" she began, her voice trembling. "I still have dreams—i-i'm not ready." she looked away from his stare once again.

Lewis felt a knot tighten in his stomach as he listened to her words, he felt disgust and disappointment "d-do you mean you want to abort it?" he asked, his eyes searching hers for clarity.

Simone's face crumpled at his question, she squeezed her hand tightly. She turned away, unable to meet his gaze, and a heavy silence filled the room.

"I have dreams, plans for my future, and this wasn't part of them. In fact I didn't even expect to get pregnant because all I knew is I was infertile" she confessed.

"I don't want to hear anything! just answer my question!" he spat.

"y-yes! I want to abort it!" she answered "yes Lewis!"

Lewis stood up, he paced the room for a few seconds, trying to gather his thoughts. "Simone" he began, turning to face her again. "do not abort the baby please, I'll take care of everything, all the expenses—everything! if you don't want the child...." he paused taking a deep breath, disappointed plastered on his face "as soon as he comes out of your womb I will take him, If you don't want it to know you in the future, do not worry I don't have plan to tell who you are"

"You don't understand me" Simone closed her eyes "one of the reason I want to abort it because i'm a cancer survivor"

Lewis felt a jolt of shock course through him, his mind struggling to process her words. "W-what?" he stammered, his voice barely more than a whisper, disbelief evident in his expression. "S-Simone" she looked away she didn't want to see the pity on his face.

Simone unbuttoned her long sleeves. "Do you see this?" Lewis looked at the scar near her chest, a thin line etched into her skin. "This is a scar from my chemo. It's a port scar" she explained her voice is trembling, Lewis's gaze lingered on the scar then shifted to Simone's face.

"do you still remember what I told you about that painting?" she pointed at the painting on the wall in front of the wine section "that my Dad is afraid  that I might not wake up so he is always go straight to my room everytime he just came home from work...I witnessed my parents struggles and sacrifices just so I could live." she stated quietly, her voice tinged with sadness as she told him her past.

"I can't shake this feeling of guilt, What if I pass on my illness to the baby? I'm not strong enough, Lewis. I don't want the baby to suffer in the future I-I couldn't bear the thought of them going through what I went through" she explained her voice trembling with emotion, her face is pale and her hand are shaking but no tears are falling from her eyes, it seems that her eyes are too tired for her to shed more tears. "f*ck! why am I telling you this?" she sniffed and shook her head.

Lewis felt her fear, he took a deep breath and reached out to her he held both of her cheeks and bent down to see her face more he stared at her eyes deeply "I-I want to hear more about you...I–I didn't know that this happened to you i'm so sorry..." he took a deep breath "We'll figure this out Simone, trust me with this one it's going be okay."

Simone stared at his brown eyes there was a flicker of trust and hope there, she nodded and pushed aside all the negative thoughts swirling in her mind.

"alright, let's do this but I will not marry you!" Lewis chuckled and nodded before kissing her forehead softly.

"I know you won't"

...

I hope you'll enjoy this chapter see you in the next one!🫶