A Half Elf's Love

Loneliness Creeps In

(Deliadis POV)

I sat in my room, hearing a knock on the door. It was the dead of night, and no one was supposed to be out of their rooms.

"Delia? It's me." I stood and walked to the door, standing in front of my brother. "Can I come in?" I nodded, my heart still hurting. Aragorn and Elladan had signed death wishes. It was awful. I sat back on my bed. Aragorn stood in front of me, scanning my face in the darkness.

"What do you want?" I winced at my tone, realizing it was harsher than I had wanted to let on.

"You're upset. I'm here to talk it out." I turned my back, hiding my face. "Deliadis?"

"Go away Aragorn." I could practically feel his sadness. It made my heart ache even more. "Please Aragorn, just go." It was quiet. I heard my door creak open and close. I let the darkness wrap around me. I even allowed myself to cry a little. It just hurt so much, knowing people were signing a death wish so willingly, including myself. When morning came again, there was a knock on my door again. "Whoever it is, go away."

"Deliadis, it's time for breakfast."

"I'm not hungry." I listened as my brother's footsteps faded away from the door. I stood, pulling on fresh clothes. I looked in the mirror, noticing the bags under my eyes. I hadn't slept at all, and stress wasn't helping. I grabbed my bow and a quiver full of arrows, walking to the training grounds. I strung an arrow, firing at the targets. I wanted something to fuel me, to make me angry, happy, anything other than crushing sadness. There was nothing. I kept firing arrow after arrow, eventually running out. I sat my bow on the ground, walking to a bench and putting my head in my hands. I heard the thwack of an arrow hitting a target a few minutes later. I looked up, expecting to see Elladan, Elrohir, or Aragorn, but no. It was Legolas. As he retrieved his arrow, he turned to look at me. He tilted his head slightly, raising his eyebrow again, but not in an entirely curious way. It was almost pity mixed with some form of interest. I put my head back in my hands, listening to his footsteps as he walked over to me, and sat on my left.

"Hello." I didn't care to respond. I wasn't in the mood for pleasantries. "My name is Legolas. Your name is Deliadis correct?" He knew perfectly well what my name was. His tone shifted a little, to something kinder, as if he was actually trying to reach out. "I can see you are hurting. I could see it yesterday as well. Why?" I finally spoke, keeping my head in my hands.

"We're all signing a death wish."

"But you are an elf. I do not see how that would trouble you." I exhaled, finally lifting my head from my hands.

"Half-elven. I am half-elven. I have yet to make my choice. I want to stay by my brother, but I fear death. I still have time to decide, but it will run out eventually." Legolas looked at me with so much pity.

"Then choose the life of man. If you truly care about your brother, then you will choose the path of man." I looked at the ground, remembering my vision from the council. Then I recalled Elladan's eyes.

"I can't."

"What is holding you back? More specifically who?" I coughed a little. "I apologize. That was very blunt." I stood, walking away. I didn't need this. I didn't need to be interrogated by an elf who knew nothing of my life. I grabbed my bow and walked back into my door. I slammed my door and went to stand out on the balcony. I just stood there, skipping lunch and dinner. My legs were aching by the time the sun went down, but I just didn't want to move. It was too exhausting. Everything was too exhausting. There was a knock at my door. I didn't feel like answering it. I was numb to a lot of things.

"Delia? Deliadis, I just wanted to see if you are alright. You missed breakfast, lunch, and dinner so I brought some food." It was Elladan. I didn't want to see him. I didn't want to see anyone. I just remained quiet and leaning on my balcony. "It seems you are already asleep. I am just going to come in for a minute and put the food on your desk so you have it in the morning." I heard my door softly open. "Oh. You are awake." I didn't bother turning around.

"You don't have to leave me food. Just go back to wherever you're needed." He leaned on my balcony, trying to get me to look at him.

"It appears that I am needed here. Aragorn told me that you told him to go away. What troubles you mellon nín?" (my friend)

"Nothing. Please just go." I felt Elladan place his hand on my shoulder. "Elladan..." His name came out a choked word. "Please just leave." He wrapped his arms around me, whispering softly. I wanted to push him off. I really did, but what he whispered just made me cry.

"I saw the look in your eyes. You believe we will all die. We will not. To my very last breath I will protect you...and the fellowship. Everyone. No matter where we are or what happens, I will protect you. Now go to sleep, eat, anything please, just take care of yourself. I do not wish to see you slip away into a darkness you cannot come back from." I cried while standing still, my body still wrapped in Elladan's embrace. He brought his hand to my cheek, wiping away the tears falling down my face. "Do you remember the song I taught you when you were younger?" I nodded, laughing at the thought.

"You learned it from dwarves yes?" Elladan nodded, chuckling. I walked to my bed, sitting on the edge and heard Elladan humming the tune. I put the words to it, smiling a little.

Far over the misty mountains cold
To dungeons deep and caverns old
We must away ere break of day
To seek the pale enchanted gold.

The dwarves of yore made mighty spells,
While hammers fell like ringing bells
In places deep, where dark things sleep,
In hollow halls beneath the fells.

For ancient king and elvish lord
There many a gleaming golden hoard
They shaped and wrought, and light they caught
To hide in gems on hilt of sword.

On silver necklaces they strung
The flowering stars, on crowns they hung
The dragon-fire, in twisted wire
They meshed the light of moon and sun.

Far over the misty mountains cold
To dungeons deep and caverns old
We must away, ere break of day,
To claim our long-forgotten gold.

Goblets they carved there for themselves
And harps of gold; where no man delves
There lay they long, and many a song
Was sung unheard by men or elves.

The pines were roaring on the height,
The winds were moaning in the night.
The fire was red, it flaming spread;
The trees like torches blazed with light.

The bells were ringing in the dale
And men looked up with faces pale;
Then dragon's ire more fierce than fire
Laid low their towers and houses frail.

The mountain smoked beneath the moon;
The dwarves, they heard the tramp of doom.
They fled their hall, to dying fall
Beneath his feet, beneath the moon.

Far over the misty mountains grim
To dungeons deep and caverns dim
We must away, ere break of day,
To win our harps and gold from him!

Far over the misty mountains cold
To dungeons deep and caverns old
We must away, ere break of day,
To find our long-forgotten gold.

Elladan had moved to sit beside me, letting my head rest on his lap. He played with strands of my hair as I closed my eyes, settling into the warmth of his legs. I fell asleep, not waking up till well into the afternoon. When I opened my eyes, Elladan's eyes were clouded slightly, showing he was asleep. He was still playing with my hair unconsciously. I didn't dare move, and instead drifted into an elven sleep. As I did so, the familiar ringing and blinding white light appeared. I was laying in a bed, and it was very dark. I was kissing someone slowly as the sheets covered our bodies. Our breaths were warm. I gently ran my fingers along the person's chest, eventually running my hands along their ears. They were an elf. I spoke softly, my voice teetering with emotions I wasn't familiar with.

"I love you...so incredibly much." The elf next to me held my lips in a kiss, muttering against them. The voice was male, and deep, but I couldn't place who it was.

"Glaw nín..." My sunshine? Who was this elf? I blinked and found myself back in Elladan's lap. He was still asleep, but I couldn't lay down any longer. I pushed myself up, watching as he slowly stirred, rubbing his head.

"Hello Elladan."

"Morning...I think..." I chuckled.

"It's currently sometime in the afternoon. We should probably handle what we need to before people wonder what happened to us." He looked a little sad, and it made me a little sad too.

"I suppose so."