Chapter- 4: Trauma's Grasp

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"No, my trauma made me
traumatized, it made me weak,
gave me sleepless nights,
memory loss and feelings
I've never wanted."

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When I reached the 5th floor, I was met with the harsh glare of red lights, a crowd, and black-and-yellow tape sealing off my grandparents' apartment. They were gone, long gone. Oh god, what do I do?

Rachel was losing her mind. Who wouldn't? The last people who had cared for her, the final threads of her family support, were her grandparents, and now they too had been taken from her, leaving her utterly alone in this cruel world. She stepped inside, and her mind catapulted her back to the horrific memory of her older sister avenging her by decapitating the man who had raped Rachel. It was a terrifying event to witness, and now her grandparents had been murdered in the same brutal way.

"I tried talking to the local police, but they just shrugged off the case like it was another piece of homicide trash. For fuck's sake, why is the law so corrupted? Is there anyone who cares about the lives of people? Money-sucking monsters! The detective working on my grandparents' case finally told me they supposedly killed each other out of agony or personal conflict and were about to close the case. I haven't told Ming anything about this. Not yet. I'm going back to their apartment, hoping to find some evidence left by the killer. There has to be something! Every killer leaves a trace. And why were they targeted? What were my grandparents involved in during their 20s and 30s? I need to know everything."

Rachel returns to Hanju Towers, searching for clues that might lead to the killer. She scoured the apartment tirelessly, but this crime was different. The killer was an exceptional mastermind, and it looked pre-planned. No couple would "slice off" their partner's head, no matter how heated the conflict. Why were her grandparents chosen? Rachel needed answers.

'Rachel, I don't know how to comfort you,' Wang Tao said, breaking the oppressive silence. "But I promise to help you with everything you need to get your revenge.'

Rachel looked at him, her eyes brimming with unspoken pain. 'As if—I can't be happy! As if the world wants me dead! I just want to be happy! Is it too much to ask for?' She collapsed to her knees, crying in agony. She had endured her parents' rejection, her sister's disappearance, her brother's murder, and now her grandparents' brutal deaths. Tao stood there, helpless, unable to find the words to console her. No words could comfort her. NO WORDS.

'Dear Rachel, we love you. Please don't let our memory ruin the rest of you. Move forward.' She imagined her grandparents' voices fading into thin air. Tao helped her to her feet. Her legs trembled, wanting to give way, but she couldn't break down completely. Not yet.

'How about we go home, to Jinshi, yeah?' Tao suggested. Rachel didn't respond, though she had so much to say. 'I'll come back,' she thought as they walked away together.

'Again.' Tao finished as if reading her mind. They left for Jinshi that night, but Rachel couldn't stay calm. The tormented souls of her grandparents seemed to call out for revenge. But would she heed their cries? "I need to research their past. What if they're connected to Seonie's disappearance and Minho's death?" Rachel pondered her mind a whirlpool of doubts and fears. After bidding farewell to Tao, she headed to her place. The emptiness inside her grew, an exhaustion beyond the physical, a weariness of the soul. As soon as she rang the doorbell, she was enveloped in a warm embrace. For a fleeting moment, the haunting thoughts receded. She felt at ease. safe. calm. collected.

"YeeJin, I—"

"It's okay. I know everything. It's not your fault. You're going to be okay." YeeJin was like Seo-yeon's shadow over her, always supporting Rachel since the day they met. YeeJin guided Rachel inside, where Ming stood with swollen eyes, eyes that seemed to speak volumes more than usual. Ming ran to hug his only princess, his Rapunzel trapped in a high tower, his Snow White poisoned by her mother. Rachel finally broke down in Ming's arms, her only paradise in a hellish world.

"Ming, why does this—" her voice hitched, "always happen to me?"

Ming held her tightly, saying nothing, allowing her to feel weak, to find solace in his embrace. Crying didn't signify weakness; it was proof she was still alive and breathing. Rachel had made it this far, and everyone believed she would make it to the end, even if she couldn't believe it herself. She felt trapped in a web of nightmares she always tried to escape.

"Well—" YeeJin cleared her throat, drawing the siblings' attention. "I think Rachel should find a decent law firm to work at," she paused, glancing at them. "Now that she's graduated, she can, you know—"

Ming nodded in agreement. "YeeJin's right. You should find a job," he said, holding her shoulders, trying not to break. Even though it was Rachel's grandparents who were gone, he felt the weight of the world for the poor girl who had been suffering since birth.

Rachel looked at them, her eyes a mixture of pain and determination. The road ahead was a mystery, but with YeeJin and Ming by her side, she knew she wasn't alone. She had weathered countless storms, and with their support, she was ready to face whatever came next. The next few days went on like usual, everyone was busy with their own life except for Rachel, who was still looking for a law firm. She lies in bed, finally as the sunset reveals the new moon on the blue-lavender shade of sky. 'I dunno Lili, I've been looking for almost a week', she sighed, but at least not from the nightmare. 'OH. MY. GOD. GIRL, why don't you have any patience? It's just ONE week', Lili sounded hysterically sarcastic on the other end of the video call. Of course, she knew Lili. She found family ever since she met YeeJin.

'Hey wait! I know a law firm, why don't you try there?'

'Well,' she signalled with her eyes to continue speaking.

'Nexus Law Firm. It's one of the leading law firms in Jinshi right now! You could try there, OMG!!', Lili looked a bit excited which created a sense of suspense in Rachel's eye.

Rachel stares at her through the screen, one eyebrow widened, with a curious look. 'You have a guy there, don't you?' It was like Rachel knew her at her fingertips.

'Uh, Um– g-guy? What guy?', she sheepish, her awkward laugh making it more obvious. 'I'm uh– just tryna help you know.'

Rachel rolled her eyes sarcastically, 'Lili—', she took a deep breath before speaking to her as if otherwise she'd slap her over the screen.

'This is your tenth-time tryna blackmail me to Nexus so that you can meet your weird, pathetic-looking guy' she quoted with her hands. 'What was his name again? Oh yeah, Lu Si Cheng'

She stared at her with an optimistic smile. 'Man, you're mean!', Lili frowned. 'And he's not pathetic, He's the dream of every girl in Jinshi!'

'Well, not mine though.', Rachel shrugged off with a smug on her face.

'That's cause you're not human.' Lili's sarcasm was a never-ending saga. I mean she'd continue for another 2 hours.

(indistinct chatter, beeps from the phone, ghostly glow of the screen)

Rachel has been yawing for the past 3 hours like a maniac. 'Ahh, Oh man, all this research is so hard!' she spoke to herself, barely able to keep her eyes open. Endless tabs were open on Rachel's laptop, all about the Hanju Tower Homicide Case and some of the cases during the period of her grandparents.

The next morning Rachel wakes up, as she yawns, she looks at her phone and what she saw left her hanging on the edges. She couldn't believe her eyes. It almost felt unreal.

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