Parallel Review Stall

Siblings with Mysteries

Author: @army_girl_ffs

Reviewer:  Yoonkeeri

Cover: 2/5

•The cover doesn't look very clear due to too many pictures of all the BTS members and YN merged together.

•The title could be made bigger and styled with more creative fonts.

•The author can use editing apps like Adobe Express, Canva, PicsArt, and many more available online.

•A cover of the book is important as it leaves a good impression on a reader to go through the book, so improving the cover is essential to attract more readers.

Title: 3/5

•The title was a bit intriguing and did fit the plot to some extent.

•However, it could have been more captivating to grab the readers' attention more effectively.

Blurb: 2/5

•The blurb needs to be edited well.

•Some readers might read the blurb first after looking at the cover to decide if the book is worth reading.

•It's important to make the blurb more engaging and free from grammatical mistakes to get more potential readers.

Character Development: 2/5

•The character development was somewhat good, but it felt overly focused on Y/N.

•The development of the BTS members and other secondary characters like Lina, her mother and Mr. Kim could have been more balanced.

•Each character should have their own distinct voice.

Grammar/Vocabulary: 4/10

•The whole book needs thorough editing.

•I understand that English is not everyone's first language, but it's essential to improve our writing in English when we write a story using that language.

•Good grammar and vocabulary are important because poor writing can make even an intriguing plot boring for readers.

•I noticed in one chapter the author mentioned that some chapters weren't edited or something like that. While it might be tempting to rush and post quickly for your valuable readers, it's important to edit or recheck thoroughly to catch any mistakes.

•As a writer myself, I understand the desire to provide more chapters to keep your readers happy. However, editing the chapters before publishing is vital.

•Therefore, the whole book needs good editing as there are numerous grammatical errors and mistakes.

•Additionally, when all BTS members are present and speaking, avoid using "BTS was" or "BTS is" for dialogues.

•Instead, give individual dialogues to each character to enhance their personalities and make the story more engaging.

•This applies to other groups like Blackpink and IU as well.

Plot: 5/10

•Even with many grammatical mistakes and poor vocabulary skills, I am someone who tries to focus on the plot. It goes to many other readers too.

•I tried to read as much as I could to understand the plot of the book. However, I felt that it wasn't very intriguing.

•The plot could be more interesting, as it seemed somewhat repetitive or not fully developed.

•A strong plot is important to making the story engaging.

•Also, the pacing of the plot seemed too fast.

•So, I suggest the author work on enhancing the plot and steadying the pace of the story to achieve better results and capture readers' interest more effectively.

Overall Impression: 3.5/10

•While I wasn't particularly intrigued by the book, I still wanted to read every chapter.

•There were some enjoyable scenes, like Yoongi going along with YN and buying her gifts.

•However, the author should develop a more compelling plot to engage readers fully. Improving the plot could attract more readers and support the author's writing journey.

Final marks : 21.5/50

Last note :

•The author should work on improving her writing skills and focus on better grammar and vocabulary.

•This can be achieved through practice and using language learning tools and apps. •Additionally, the author needs to work on the plot, to make it more unique and intriguing.

•A well-crafted plot, combined with strong writing skills will make the book better and attract a broader readership.

•Also, please don't be discouraged by this review.

•The purpose of this feedback is to solely help you improve.

•The reviewer has no intention of being harsh. We are all here to assist authors in enhancing their work.

•We hope this feedback helps you get better and not be demotivated.

Thank You!!