Nerds Are Lovable

41: Bad Girls Aren't Ridiculous

"These past few months since meeting that Haley girl you've become someone unrecognizable," My mom exasperates, "I don't even recognize my own son!"

I cross my arms, bored at her cries at the dinner table. It's been like this for months. Every meal we have together inevitably comes back to Haley and her bad reputation. The topic of Purdue is the only thing that deters them from going nuclear. But well, that could very much be the reason they do blow up once they find out the truth.

It's been eating me up inside, all this lying. But I also couldn't bring myself to say anything, to correct them. I know it's cowardly to sit in silence as they talk about the campus and the classes and how it was obvious I'd go there. It was just easier to bite my tongue than find out the consequences of holding on to this secret for so long.

Haley was right, however. The longer I took to say anything, the worse it would be for all of us. And let's be real, the worse it would be for Haley too. I knew they would blame her the second the words slipped from my mouth. I knew none of this would be my fault, only her manipulations. They'd tell me it's all okay, that they can fix it with their connections. And then, they'd inevitably tell me that I should break up with her, that this truly was the final straw.

But it wasn't. Because none of what they were gonna say would be anywhere close to the truth. They just never listened to me when I tried to explain it.

"I'm still me, mom," I respond uninterested, grabbing a potato from my plate and glaring at it.

The poor potato did nothing wrong.

My mom shakes her head and speaks up again, "She is tainting your chances at the bright career we've set up for you."

"She's not tainting anything. I'm perfectly capable of having a bright career with her by my side."

"But she's not good for you."

I hated when they said those words, and they always did.

"That's not true," I say through gritted teeth, "You always say that and every time I tell you that you're wrong."

"She is not good enough for the life you want to lead."

"All that means is that you're upset she doesn't come from a wealthy family. You two act like I don't know what you truly care about: money and status."

"Jayden Ansel Monroe," My father speaks up for the first time the anger bright in his eyes for having talked back to him, "You will not speak to your mother like that. You will listen to your mother and you will get rid of this girl. She will not be tolerated any longer."

His tone was terrifying. I was glad Bella wasn't here to witness the absolute anger that dripped off our father. He had never really spoken up about Haley, always letting my mom berate me about breaking up with her. Him finally saying something so heartbreaking to me

"We thought you were just having a moment of rebellion, but it has gone too far. Far enough that she's convinced you you're in love with her. Ridiculous."

Ridiculous. Ridiculous. This one sided conversation was ridiculous. The way they could disregard my feeling over and over was ridiculous. The constant pressure and expectations to be perfect was ridiculous. Ridiculous to the point that I didn't step out of line once for eighteen years and the second I did, I was all but disowned.

I'm furious. Furious at my parents to for controlling every aspect of my life. Furious at myself for letting myself follow without a single complaint. I never said anything when I was stuffed into a suit constantly. I never said anything when I was forced to take statistics and economics instead of calculus. I never said anything when I was forced to study every Saturday night instead of going out with friends or going to a party.