How We Met

Grief

Joel's Perspective-

Please listen to Coastline by Hollow Coves and enjoy!!

I put the sail on the boat, salty sea air rushing past my face.

I took a deep breath, trying to hold back my tears as I pushed the boat into the water.

Ever since it happened, I've been crushed. But I know he wouldn't want me to be grieving on the past.

He would want me to get outside and do the things I love.

I sat in the boat, swaying back and forth, listening to the silence and trying to clear my mind from his voice.

"I just wanna hang out with you, any moment with you always makes me happy."

His voice rang in my head like an annoying song.

"Don't worry about the future or the past, focus on the now."

I couldn't help it.

I started to cry.

Cry because it felt like everything was over.

Cry because the thing that I loved most was taken away from me.

Cry because Etho...was gone.

Dead.

Forever.

I felt my grip loosen on one of the ropes I was holding, and I quickly recovered.

But the tears kept falling as his voice kept continuing.

"We'll always be together, don't worry about me leaving you because that would never happen."

The voice that would make me laugh and smile.

"You're such a dork."

The voice that would tell me everything would be okay.

"I know you're sad now, but know that tomorrow, everything will be alright."

The voice that taught me how to sail.

"And now you're going to pull on the rope to move the sail with the wind."

The voice...the voice that loved me.

"I love you, Joel; nothing will ever change that."

I couldn't do this.

It was all going too fast.

I wanted to stop.

I wanted to stop the car crash from ever happening.

I wanted to hug him and love him.

But he was gone.

He left too fast.

He didn't deserve this.

I wish we had more time together.

I wish it was me who died; not him.

I wish...I wish this never happened.

And that he was here beside me, watching the beautiful sunset.

That he was here, laughing and joking with me.

That he was here, hugging me and enjoying this moment together.

But I guess things aren't that easy.

I guess I'm not allowed to have these nice things in the world.

I guess he's gone.

Forever.

Etho's Perspective-

I smiled as I watched Joel sail out into the ocean.

I saw him start crying and my heart ached.

I wished that he was able to see me and know that I was there.

"I'm so sorry, Etho." Joel sobbed, "It's all my fault."

"No," I said, despite him not being able to hear me, "No, it's not your fault. It was my fault for driving so late and not looking both ways."

"I wish I was up there with you." Joel said shakily, wiping his eyes on his arm.

"Joel, you have to keep going. Keep living." I said, sitting down next to Joel.

Joel sighed, "I can't keep doing this. I can't live without you."

"Yes, you can. You have to believe in yourself. You've got this."

I placed my hand on Joel's, wishing that he could feel it.

"I love you." I said, kissing his cheek.

Joel didn't move, he didn't do anything since he didn't feel it or know that I was there.

He was looking into the ocean, his tears slowly falling which caused ripples in the water.

Joel then took a shaky breath as he continued to sail out.

I sat next to him, leaning on his shoulder as we watched the sunset.

Truth be told, I never really left.

I would never leave him.