solby one shots

Not Worthy Of Love (final Part)

squeeze my hand harder almost hurting I get a little closer to his face "baby you are okay, everything is okay I wait for you okay I love you" feeling his hand gets looser and looser before he fals limp "you have to leave now Mr brock he will be back in 1h" the nurse said bringing me out I walked back to his room breaking down for the first time since this morning "are you okay colby" his mom ask "yeah it's just so hard to see him like this he was so terrified his eyes looked at me so scared it's so hard to see he is so scared he will not wake up" it's okay colby you know everything will be okay and you will be okay to you did everything you could for him it's totally fine to let yours out I saw his look to and I would have lived to just bring him out of here but this is hopefully the best for him "of course it is that's why I talk to him about it so much but his eyes broke me it's so hard to stay calm when someone is so scared besides that I promised him he will be okay of course I think to. What if not, I mean not dieing or something but what he it dosent work he will never trust me again "colby don't think like that I'm pretty sure sam is very smart and knows that you promise this to make him feel better mostly and he knows himself that the option exists it dosent work I know my son and you are very very important to him he never was like this ever to anyone and for sure not that serious like earlier when he wanted to go " she laughed a bit" I was surprised about that to I never seen him standing his ground like this " how high are the chances of not working just that I know 30% so the chances are low but of course not impossible" I nodded "I hope I'm prepared for the storm if not he will for sure say it's okay but I know it's not"...... We just talked the whole time me looking on my phone constantly for the time seeing it's 70 mini hope that if not bad I stood up walking to the window to look out the window just taking a few deep breaths when it knocked on the door seeing a nurse walk in omg that can't be good my heart immediately raced "we had little jumps with sam his blood pressure sunk 2 times" she said making my legs almost gave out "no panic we gave him something to stabilise him he is out in 10 min" she said walking out I was sweating even if I was freezing my body was shaking "colby deep breath" get him some water he white as a ghost " she whispered" colby he is okay, he is okay that often can happen when the body is stressed he is fine " she said handing me the water" that scared me so much " I mumbled we where to colby but it's nothing to concerning it's probably bc his body was so stressed out and then the anesthesia making me nod" deep breath he wants you when he wakes up " your right, you right" I said taking a few deep breath calming my heart down *he is okay, he is okay *that's when they bring sam back in his bed a few needles in his arm and his head wrapped up of course "he will wake up in a few min water only if he is awake awake if he has pain or getting sick press the call button" the nurse said I sit down immediately taking his hand "I'm here Sammy, im here like I promised, and you are okay" I run my hand over his forehead brushing the hair out of his face when he ripped open his eyes trying to sit up "hey - hey lay back down you are okay Sammy, you are with me" I slightly pushed him down again "I'm sick" he signed " the cup colby quick" his mom says I grabbed it holding it unter his mouth for him seeing he's trowing up green "we should call the nurse" I said seeing his mom press the botton "your okay Sammy everything is okay it's just the anesthesia leaving you" i said trying to make him feel better and me too, to be honest the nurse walked in " he feels sick amd threw up it's green" no Panik that can happen the color is normal I will give him something for the nausea " she said hurrying out I placed the cup on the ground when sam was done taking a tissue to clean his mouth laying him back down" your okay Sammy I'm right here like I promised and your fine "I don't feel fine my ear and head hurts and I feel so sick and I'm dizzy" his mom translate " it's okay Sammy I tell the nurse they help you and then you sleep for a bit and I go home and and shower and eat something and come back tomorrow" no-no-no you can't leave for so long nooo" Sammy I can't stay here your parents can but I'm here as soon as I'm allowed okay "seeing his eyes water" Sammy don't cry please "the nurse walked back in with a few medications giving it to sam through the thing in his arm don't ask me what's that all called I'm not a doc" how long does he have to stay here " his mom ask if everything goes well 3 days and 2 weeks at home" when can I hear something "sam signed when the doc turns it on but your brain won't recognize words or sounds yet we have to make test and make you the right volumes and stuff and you have to lern to understand and speak of course" he nodded looking at his mother who translate it "I only wanne hear a sound nothing more for now" he said the nurse nodding okay I'm come back when the doc is free " he lays back down blinking with his eyes a few times before falling asleep again what's very good"what do I do I don't know Mr and Mrs golbach what do I say to not stay here I really have the feeling he would probably get up and leave or something stupid what do I say "I mean to be honest colby you have to lern that sam can't have anything no matter what not only this one now you can't give him everything all the time you understand that it will be very hard but sam has to lern not anything in life is how he wants it" I know that Mrs golbach but what should I do just leave he will never talks to me again if I leave now and you both know that and this hear is an exception he just woke up from an operation right and he is so sensitive in general "okay okay maybe I can talk to them that you can stay for that night but you have to talk to him that you can't stay hear for at least 3 days, I mean you have to go home yourself"i nodded being grateful when I can stay at least tonight what's probably the worst "colby" I turned yes Mr golbach "now that we are alone for a sec thank you for giving my son his life,self-consciousness and independence I tried that for year but his mom is so worried all the time that she dident let him do anything but bc of you he got his own mind I hope you know that your mother can be proud what she raist " making me almost cry" I was just me I knew he was special from day one, he was so closed of but I told myself to not give up and also he has the nicest parent as well and super special nowadays I mean it, you are nice welcoming and accepted him like he is I know only for that reason many many parents who trow there kids out for being gay for example " I could never he is my son and technically not my business at all who he loves the only thing I want is him happy and that he gets treated well" MO matter if we stay friends or he wants to be my boyfriend I will do anything to make him happy amd that he has anything he needs always sir "that's when his mom walks in" they said normally you can't but bc they now sam a little now and we said you can they let you sleep here but you have to use the Armchair "that's not a problem thank you" i said "colby" I heard a faint whisper and padding on the bed I took his hand quickly to show him I'm there running my fingers over his hair and head seeing him relax he opened his eyes looking at me I smiled "feel better" I ask making him nod "that's gread Sammy I also can stay here for the night" making him smile so bright... It knocked on the door when 2 doctors and a nurse walked in I looked at sam who looked so nervous again I could see his heart beat through his shirt I mean honestly I would be to "how are you feeling sam" I'm okay now after the medication " the sec doc signed" so we would turn on your important for 2 min just to see if it works you have to tell us if it's loud or not or if you hear anything at all yeah but you still have to look at us bc your brain can't make the worts up yet that you hear bc you never learned these " making him nod looking so nervous I can't but I was to this was the moment if he ever can hear again in general I looked at his parents for a sec seeing them nervous to they where holding something on it and pressed something I don't know they waited a few sec "wait" he signed the doctors looking at him "can I please hear colby's voice first I want to remember my first words when it works if you are okay" he looked at his parents "they nodded with a smile" okay mrs brock you can talk in 5 sec this made me so nervous I looked at him that he still can follow my mouth the doctor nodded "hey beautiful Sammy" I said but not to loud seeing his eyes immediately water being scared he can't hear "can you heat my voice sunshine" he just stared at me for a sec a tear rolling down his face before nodding slowly as more tears rolling down his face his mom stood up walking to him hugging him tightly hearing her sniff to "we turn it off again for now in 2 days we make all the adjustments and volume" the doctor said smiling walking back out his mom pulled away sam looked back at me reaching for my hand tears still dripping down "please stop crying or I cry to Sammy" I said slowly wiping his tears "your voice it's much for beautiful then I imagined how it sounds and btw your beautiful to" he giggled making me so happy that Noone can imagine "how was hearing" totally strange all of the sudden can your year noises amd voice but you can't understand it was loud but you probably spoke quite but if you never heared anything "I nodded understanding" thank you for giving me the honor of your first words I hope your parents don't hate me now I said a bit louder hearing his dad chuckle "we go and get some coffee and a few snacks you want anything honey" just some hot chocolate please "he signed" colby? " no thank you I'm okay" they nod walking out "are you okay Sammy" I said running my thumb over his hand "after the medication I'm fine are you okay" he ask not knowing what to Say I don't wanne lie but it's also not about me "colby what's wrong" nothing Sammy it's just all a lot even for me but it's not about me "yes it is just bc you did not get an operation dosent mean you can't feel sad or scared or tiered or whatever" I was just so worried Sammy not bc I believed something happens more like I'm always worried if you okay if that makes sense I want you always happy amd okay " he smiled placing his hand on my cheek his touch so warm and calming" colby with you im always okay not in sense of I want you to not be alone in sense of you make me feel save and happy and calm you understand "I nodded i do bc I'm the same if I'm with you I'm okay bc I know your okay" I smiled seeing his eyes water "ah, ah, ah no crying we talked about that" I laughed I took his hand kissing the top breathing Deeply "I'm okay colby please don't worrie I will be fine and then j can hear your beautiful sexy voice all the time" he signed making me slightly push him playfully making him giggle I just looked out for a sec seeing the sun shining the sky blue I looked back at sam seeing him look at me already "you where scared ha" he whispered making me nod my eyes watering "terrified" but like I said not bc I thought you will die here just to maybe lose you one day the possibility of not having you anymore for any reason is terrifying to me even if you just walk away "feeling a tear drip down I quickly wiped it away he slowly sit up reaching his arms out I came closer just hugging him hearing Sam's parents come back so I pulled away hisom walked to the bed giving him his hot chocolate" thank you "he mouths taking a sip mhmm he made a noise making me smile I stood up walking in to the bathroom taking a washcloth holding it under warm water taking a towel to and walk back out sitting back down wiping his neck a bit and his arms where dryed blood was on seeing him look at his parents with a smile I took the towel wiping over it "all clean and more pretty again" I whispered thank you colby that so sweet "he signed" hey I can't let you look like this I take care of you in any situation even if I have to wipe your butt " I said making him laugh hearing his parents laugh to wheny phone got off seeing it was my mother