THE CHAIN, B. Barnes daughter

37. pain

SAMMY!!!!!!!!!!!! Sam and Bucky's beef is so silly.

Tw: Self harm (my baby Sev 😕)

WHEN SEVEN STARTED, it was around a month or two before her sixteenth birthday. She had accidentally cut herself while helping Bucky cook, and the pain was a startling, almost familiar sensation. Since escaping HYDRA, she hadn't felt pain like that. No one hurt her anymore, but the accidental cut ignited a craving she didn't expect.

It was something she felt used to.

Something she was born to have.

Pain.

That night after dinner, Sev retreated to her room. The memory of the accidental cut lingered in her mind, an insistent whisper she couldn't ignore. She tried to distract herself, but the urge grew stronger. Eventually, she gave in.

The sting of the blade brought tears to her eyes, and as the blood dripped down her arm, she felt a twisted sense of relief. When the cool air hit her wrists, she found herself strangely comforted.

She became adept at hiding it. She wore sweaters, a lot of them. Bucky seemed to think it was just a fashion choice, a teenager trying to find her way in the world.

Sev didn't have many friends, so fitting in wasn't her concern. She had AJ Wilson, or Allison James, is Sam's niece. AJ was an orphan, a year older than Sev, and a tough, no-nonsense girl who didn't tolerate Sev's tears and slap the shit out of her when she cried (and has many times) but she loved Sev fiercely.

She loved AJ

She hopes AJ loved her too.

Sev heard the door open. Panicking, she quickly shoved the blade back into her drawer and jumped up from her bed. Bucky walked in, his presence filling the small apartment.

"Hey, Sev," he greeted, flashing her a quick smile. He looked tired but content, a rare combination.

Sev walked out of her room, meeting him in the living area. He collapsed onto the couch, and she followed suit, sitting next to him.

Bucky turned to her, his expression softening. "You okay alone tomorrow night? I have a... uh, date," he said, his tone a mix of casualness and hesitation.

"A date?" Sev felt a flash of anger, but she pushed it down, forcing a smile. "Sure, dad. No problem."

Bucky nodded, relieved. "Great. Thanks, Sev." He paused, looking at her with genuine interest. "So, what did you do while I was gone?"

Sev's heart raced, but she maintained her composure. "Just read some books," she lied smoothly. "Steve's old ones."

Bucky smiled, a hint of pride in his eyes. "Good. Reading's good for you." As he leaned back, his eyes caught a small stain on her sleeve. His expression shifted, concerned. "What's that on your sleeve? Is that blood?"

Sev glanced down, her stomach dropping. Thinking quickly, she said, "Oh, that. I had a nosebleed earlier. It's nothing."

Bucky's concern didn't entirely fade, but he accepted her explanation. "You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just one of those things," Sev replied, trying to sound nonchalant. "Y'know?"

"Sure..." Bucky studied her for a moment longer, then nodded. "Alright. If you say so."

He stretched, the tension in his shoulders visibly easing. "Wanna watch a movie or something?"

Sev felt a wave of relief at the change of topic. "Sure. What do you want to watch?"