to the finish line || ollie bearman

part 64

"but what if they don't want me anymore?" i say.

"of course they will." ollie says.

"but look at how i wrecked that car, t-they will think i will do it again." i say.

"no they won't." ollie says.

"im gonna go get you some food." mom says before leaving the room.

"i've ruined my career." i say, tears forming in my eye.

"no, no you haven't. ang you knew the whole race the track was dangerous. and you had to risk your life just to prove it."

"i should have had more control over the car."

"you did nothing wrong." ollie says softly.

"if i did nothing wrong i wouldn't be lying in a fucking hospital bed. you don't get it! i'm ruined! i was never going to make it, nick was right!" i shout, tears falling down my face.

(italian)

"lina, calm down. shouting isn't going to help." kimi says calmly, looking at the ground.

"nick wasn't right, nothing he ever did was right." he says.

"how do you know that?" i say.

"lina, listen to yourself. he hit you for gods sake!" kimi says, raising his voice, and i stay quiet.

"i'm sorry... you need to understand that nothing that has happened to you is your fault." kimi says, finally looking at me and i notice the tears in his eyes.

not once did i stop to think about how this could be affecting him. or anyone.

"i'm sorry, im really sorry." i say, looking across at both ollie and kimi.

"what for ang?" ollie says softly, stroking my hand.

"whenever you try to help me, all i do it shout at you." i say.

"it's hard what you have been through, so you have every right to shout." kimi says.

"i don't want too argue, why can't i just be normal?"

"because your not normal. everything that has happened to you just proves how strong you are." kimi says, as mom walks back in with some food.

"so, the food didn't look the best. but i've got you some soup, it should be easy to digest. and for you boys i got sandwiches." mom says, handing out food as everyone thanks her.

for the first time since the doctors, ollie lets go of my hand as i start to drink the soup slowly as i was getting incredibly tired. i hand the cup of soup to ollie and lie my head back.

"i'm sorry ang, you can't go to sleep yet." ollie says.

"why." i reply. surely i should be able to sleep, after all i did come back from the dead less then 50 hours ago.

"the doctors said." ollie replies. i sigh and sit back up, despite pain in my stomach and head.

"you never told me who i crashed with, or if they are alright."

"it was zane." ollie says.

"maloney?!" i say, of course it was. everything that has ever happened between us hasn't been good.

"he feels really bad though ang, he's been sat with the other drivers in the waiting room. he wanted to see you when you woke up."

"what?" i say, shocked at what i had just heard. zane had hated me the whole season, and now he's waiting for me to wake up? it's weird.

"yeah."

"is he alright at least?" i say.

"he is now, broke part of his leg." ollie says.

"your joking." i say.

"100% serious."

"i need to see him." i say, immediately feeling guilty.

"i'll get him." ollie says, standing up and leaving the room. i wait a few seconds before speaking again.

"kimi, can you show me the crash?" i say, and he looks at me shocked.

"you want to see it?" he says.

"yes, kimi please." i plead.

"it's bad, but okay." he says hesitantly, before picking up his phone.

i watch the video silently. i needed to know if it was my fault with zane of not. after the first crash, my car slides into the track because of the water on track. then zane hits the car, causes us both to go off spinning.

he wasn't to blame for the 2nd crash, and neither was i. the weather made it impossible for zane to see me, and i was moving. well i guess the car, i was unconcious.

"she's just in here." i hear ollie say from outside as the door open.

zane walks in, both arms in crutches before sitting down on the chair next to me. other then his broken leg, he seemed alright. but he looked like he hadn't slept last night.

"can you leave us?" i say, noticing he was a little nervous. they both nod and leave the room.

"angelina.." he starts.

"please don't apologise." i say.

"why not?" he says.

"nothing that happened was your fault. the track was dangerous, the weather was terrible and we were just unfortunate." i say.

"have you seen the video?" he asks.

"yes, have you?"

"no, it's bad right?"

"of course it's bad zane, but we are both still here."

"thank god for that... listen angelina, i'm really sorry for how i've been during the season. i've been such a dick, and it's only because i was scared of you as a driver."

"it's fine zane, i'm sorry too... for when i pushed you back in bahrain."

"i guess we're even then?" he says, holding out his hand. i smile slightly before shaking his hand with my free hand.

"when can you back to racing?"

"last race of the season the doctors hope. i'm having more surgery to speed up recovery. do they know for you?"

"i'm not returning this season."

|| authors note ~ poor angel

hope you enjoy 🫶🏼