You Belong With Me

2

• June 2020 •

March of 2020 was a lonely and scary month for many. It was the month the whole world went under a quarantine because of coronavirus. Everything just stopped. The cheer practices, school even going out in public. I felt lonely in many aspects of it all, but throughout it, I always had my best friend right by my side. I haven't talked to Mac or August since Early 2020 and I don't plan on anytime soon. It's not their fault, we just grew apart or more; I grew away from them. They got stuck in love with their boyfriends of many, and I never felt that. As I sit in my front yard, surrounded by darkness looking up into the sky trying to scout out any little stars I could see, a voice from the distance, startles me.
"You okay?" A voice I know a little to while says breaking me out of thought.
"I think so." I say as my eyes don't leave the sky. As I hear the grass crunch under his feet, he walks over and takes a seat right next to me.
"Are you?" I say as I turn to face, Chris.
"I think so." He says nodding his head as his eyes meet mine.
"At least we have each other?" I say.
"Yeah." He says as his voice cracks. If you wanted to at this moment, you could've took a knife and cut the tension in the air, many times. I turn my head to face the sky not being able to hold eye contact with him anymore.
"How's the moving going?" I ask facing the ground not knowing what to say.
"I don't know. I haven't been home in a while." He whispers under his breath so quietly I almost miss it. Chris's parents are going through a divorce something about cheating and loyalty. He's very faint with details when he tells me about it. I feel like my mom explains it better. I also think it's because she understands it a little more. I don't think he's old enough to know he didn't destroy their marriage and that it wasn't his fault, I don't think he'll ever be able to come to terms with that.
"Where have you been staying?" I question.
"My grandmas."
"Oh" I smile trying to comfort him.
"At least you're finally getting out of this shitty town, huh?" I add.
"Yeah, I guess so." He whispers. Our town isn't the worst. We live in a safe town it's the people in it who make it bad. It's not the prettiest, but we manage, we have to.
"I've talked to the girls." He says changing the topic.
"Oh." I say not liking this topic any better.
"They're sorry you know."
"I don't know what to say to them." I say shaking my head as my eyes don't leave the ground in front of me.
"You know they were just trying to help. They didn't mean it in bad, you have to know that." He almost begs me to understand. At the end of December for some stupid reason, they thought they would help me with my loved life by setting me up with Kate. I don't know why they did it. It was so dumb. I was the laughing stock of the school.
"I know but it's didn't help." I say harshly trying to get my point across.
"Margo, they just wanted to help."
"But they didn't. They just made things worst. I was fine before they tried to get involved." I stated sternly.
"It's not like they were playing with your feelings, you're not gay if anything it hurt Kate more!" He said back like it was obvious.
"Chris," I whispered as I turned to face him.
"I'm gay." I finish my sentence.
"Margo, I..." before he can think of something to say I cut him off.
"It's fine, it's not like it matters." I shake my head as I get up from the ground. Chris seeing my action rushes to stand next to me.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know." He says as he reaches for grab my hand.
"I know it's fine." I say as I pull my hand away from him turning to leave.
"If it helps," he pauses as I continue to walk away. He takes a deep breath before saying.
"I have a boyfriend." I freeze in my spot as I turn to face him.
"Really?" I smile no longer feeling alone.
"Yes." He whispers as his eyes meet the ground.
"For how long?" I question as the tension around us grows if that was even possible.
"2 months." He smiles having the courage to meet my eyes.
"That's nice." I smile.
"I guess... happy pride month!" He says happily with a laugh as I join.
"You're something else." I laugh shaking my head.
"It's late you should go." He smiles.
"Okay." I nod my head as I walk to my front porch. As I grab the handle of my door I turn to face Chris one more time.
"Good night!" I smile before opening the door.
"Good night, Margo." He smiles as he waits for me to be all the way in my house before leaving.
It's crazy to think this was the last night we ever talked to each other. I sometimes wonder if he's okay.