"and he laughs at all my jokes
and he says i'm so american
oh, god, it's just not fair of him
to make me feel this much"
in which singer riley evans
and f1 driver max verstappen
are forced into a relationship
that neither of them wants.
max verst...
I must've sent her the wrong message or something.
I had to, right?
I'd gone to a club in London with some of the Red Bull mechanics, had a few drinks, and next thing I knew I was kissing someone. No. She was kissing me.
She practically came out of nowhere.
I remember standing outside the club waiting for my Uber when it happened. I was talking to one of the mechanics when this random girl came up and kissed me, holding my face which stopped me from pushing her away until she broke it off. Had I unintentionally given her a look in the club and she took it the wrong way?
I must've been drunk out of my mind because I don't recall ever seeing her until that moment.
That night, that stupid fucking night has been replaying in my mind multiple times a day ever since it happened. Summer break was nearing its end and this had happened at the beginning of July. Nearly 2 full months of wondering what on earth I did to have her kiss me like that, all where paparazzi could see.
I hadn't even known what had happened, hadn't known pictures were taken until Mark frantically called me, cussing me out and asking me what I was thinking. That was when I called Riley to try and explain, explain that I had no idea why the girl kissed me and I wanted to push her away, but couldn't. That was when Ella answered Riley's phone and then promptly blocked me on everything.
It has been nearly two months without being able to talk to Riley, to explain it all, to beg for her forgiveness.
If I hadn't felt bad enough for Riley finding out through news articles, finding out with allowing me to explain, it felt like my heart was ripped into a million tiny pieces when So American came out and I heard every thought and feeling she had poured into it. She had felt all of those things about me only to find out I had essentially cheated on her the moment we were apart.
She said she wanted to marry me in that song, and I fucked everything up.
I guess maybe it was my fault. I'm sure I did something to provoke that girl into kissing me. I didn't even have the balls to tell Riley after it happened. I'm not sure why I hadn't. I do remember being frozen after it happened, one of the mechanics – Josh – having to literally shove me toward my Uber.
Everything about that night felt so strange to me.
"DADDY!" The sound of Lili's ear-piercing scream ripped through my thoughts, bringing me back to where I was, laying in the guest room of my apartment in Monaco – I haven't been able to sleep in my bed since it all happened, since everything went to shit. Being in my own fucking bedroom hurt because it was the last place I spent time with Riley in.
I nearly face-planted on the floor as I scrambled out of the bed to get to my daughter. It was nearly 11pm, Lili shouldn't be awake.
When I rounded the corner into her room, my stomach twisted at the sight of it empty. Where was she?
But then her shriek echoed in a different place, the bathroom. I rushed there, seeing her curled up in a ball on the floor. Just from the sight of her lying there and her one hand reaching for the toilet, I knew she'd been throwing up.
My poor baby. "Liefje." I mumbled, dropping down on the floor beside her and pulling her into my arms. I brushed the hair from her face, retrieving a hair tie from the counter to pull it up and out of the way, wincing at the sight of tears rolling down her cheeks. "Liefje, what happened?"
"I threw up, Daddy." She whimpered, nuzzling herself further into my embrace.
I tried to calm her, running my hand up and down her back. "Do you need any medicine?"
She shook her head, not answering me.
"What can I do to help you, Lil?" I pleaded with her. If she didn't want the medicine, I'm not sure how to help her.
I'm also fucking nervous.
Last time she got sick like this, she threw up so many times she passed out and I had to take her to the ER. That was the weekend that so much changed between me and Riley.
Fuck.
"I want Mommy." Lili sobbed in my arms.
I furrowed my eyebrows. "Why would you want Mommy, Lil? I thought you said you didn't–"
"Riley, Riley is my Mommy. I want her!"
I think I could throw up from the pain her request caused me.
She considered Riley her Mommy and I fucked everything up and made her leave. All this time, I hadn't realized how much Riley's absence impacted Lili. She had asked where Riley was a few times, but I always skirted around the true answer. Then one day, out of frustration, I unintentionally raised my voice at my daughter, telling her that I had messed up and Riley had left and probably wouldn't come back.
We both cried on the floor that night.
Not only does Lili desperately want the comfort Riley brought her, I know that Riley would also know what to do in this situation. She always knew what to do.
I didn't even try to disguise the fact I was crying now, just letting my tears freely fall. "I'm sorry, Liefje. I'm so sorry. I wish I could ask Riley to come help you right now, I want her here too."
Lili sat up and mustered her best angry face at me. "Then say you're sorry, Daddy, and ask her to come back." Oh, how I wish it was that easy.
A sigh fell from my lips as I held Lili's face in one of my hands, using my thumb to caress her tear-stained cheek. If only the world was as simple as a 5-year-old thought it to be.
"I wish I could, Lil, but Daddy has to tell Riley a lot more than just sorry."
Lili furrowed her eyebrows, "That you're super sorry?"
I chuckled, tears still rolling down my cheeks. How did I get so lucky to have this little girl? Regardless of the shit going on in my, our, lives... Lili was still everything I needed her to be.
"Something like that."
•
maxverstappen1 posted a photo!
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Liked by victoriaverstappen, schecoperez, and others maxverstappen1 liefje🧡
