Helping 11

Nora

The rain that is making the concrete dark gray showing exactly how I feel. All I want to do is sit down in the middle of the road and cry. I barely made it out of the conversion with Tadgh before I started crying. Seeing Tadgh with Joey broke something deep down inside of me but it also made me feel jealousy. Which I shouldn't, so what if he has an older brother that cares for him it's not like that's all I've ever wanted. Sometimes I just want an older brother to care for me, to fight for me, to want to be my brother. Not someone to take his grief out on. I know I shouldn't feel like this because I know what it felt like to lose da and I still feel that loss every minute of every waking hour, even in my sleep I still see him. But sometimes I wish it was different.

I walk down the street that leads to my house and freeze. It's not the rain that has my school clothes soaked but the car that sits in my driveway. It's a deep blue and it looks just the same as it did when I was 10 or 8 or any year because I grew up getting rides in this car but now I wish that car and the owner would be the ones that got into a car crash.

Taking death breaths to steady myself, I try to think of a way I wouldn't have to interact with him. But I knew I had too, there was no way I could get up the stairs and into the safety of my room without him hearing. I just need to put my brave face on and walk through the door.

I pull my key out of my bag still hoping it won't make a sound but it makes a loud click as I turn it. I stop for a second listening to see if I can hear any movement past it but so far it's quiet, oddly quiet. I open the door and slip inside, shutting the door softly behind me. I stand there studying my surroundings and watch as the water dropping off my clothes starts to form a puddle underneath me. I slip off my school school hating the squeak they make when they slide off of eachother. I turn to walk up the stairs breathing a sigh of relief because I have almost made it up to my room when a voice behind me says

"Hey Nory" Ciarain and from the way his words are slurring, I say a very drunk ciarain.

"Don't call me that" I snapped at him because he's insisted on using that nickname since I was little.

" Awwww come over here and give your big brother a hug" His words are slurring even more and it is becoming even more difficult to understand what he's saying but I know for sure there is no way I'm going near him. Not after what happened last time.

" No" I barely whisper, shaking my head.

" Don't make me come over there Nora" his tone is almost too serious as he says it and it scares me.

" No" I say again, continuing to shake my head.

"Tsk tsk I warned you" He is suddenly walking towards me and I try to run up the stairs but he pulls me back by my hair. I yelp, tears start to prick my eyes.

" No let me go '' I sob, the pain almost unbearable as he pulls me down the hallway. He pulls me into the kitchen, throwing me onto the floor hard enough that I know there will be a bruise tomorrow. I try to get up but he just kicks me right in the ribs, leaving me struggling to breath.

"Please, please just let me go" I say breathless.

" I leave you alone" I try to crawl away but he just steps on my leg holding me in place.

" Huh nice try you're not getting away yet" he picks me up and pushes me into a chair.

" No, no let me go" I try to push him away but all he does is hold my wrists

"Just shut up and stay still you slut" I flinched at those words bringing me back to last night and this morning.

" Yeah that's right" he huffs.

" I heard what you did to that poor boy, you don't even want to know what I would have done to you if I were him" He says it in a tone that makes my heart hurt for his previous girlfriends he has brought home. They would all sit there happily at the dinner table but maybe they were hiding it, faking a smile like me.