A Hero in the Dark: 2nd Edition

Chapter 89: My Cocoa Brown

~ Number Four's POV ~

Except for the maniacal humming of the others, it's quiet. I never really understood what sitting in a solitary confinement does to people until I had to experience it myself. I wonder if this was what it was like for Em back in the day. No. Don't go there, John.

But like every time before, I do. I can't keep myself from thinking about her, wondering what she's doing, how she is... where she is. Every fibre of my being wants to call out to her telepathically—I want nothing more than to hold her in my arms again. I want to sleep side by side her as if everything's okay. I know she won't answer me, but still.

I shake my head and try to erase the image of her yelling at me from my mind, and thankfully, a buzz interrupts my self-pouting.

My gate opens—that's odd; that never happens. There's a guard outside my cell, dressed in the same old Earth Garde uniform, looking as stern as always. "Company," is all he says and tosses a scruffy young girl in with me, and, hell, she is scuffed up.

Not an inch of her arms is left unbruised, but rather red, purple, and blue. My heart falls as I hurry to catch her. "Emily!" I call, holding her in my lap as the gate clamps shut. I hold her head, cradle it, but it lobs. "Emily, look at me!"

She doesn't. She's out cold. Her eyes stay closed and her pulse ticks slow. Her chest barely moves up and down. How did she get here? What happened to her?!

I hardly hear the other prisoners anymore; I'm too focused on her. She's the only one that I'll ever love; I don't care what she's done. "Emily! Please! Please, look at me..."

I roll up her shirt to sneak a peak and am winded when I drag in a sharp breath through my teeth. "Oh my God. Em, who did this to you?"

She doesn't even stir, and hearing that much, I do the only thing I can do: I lay a few fingers on her neck and push my healing energy through her. I close my eyes to concentrate and spread it to every bruise and every rib that's broken.

I lean in close and plant a soft kiss to her lips when I'm done; they're cold. She doesn't even flinch. Carefully, I ignite my Lumen to keep her warm and carry her to the futon, lay her on it, and lay beside her. Somehow, the thin mattress is much more bearable.

For the longest time, I don't do anything except lie behind her and stroke her hair. I lean in close to kiss and nuzzle the nape of her neck; she still smells sweet. "Please, wake up, Emily," I beg in a whisper. "Wake up." I don't know what else to do. I don't know what time it is—I never do—but eventually, I drift asleep with her spine strapped to my chest.

***

At some point, she stirs, and I stir, and she finally opens her eyes and turns. "John?" she murmurs. "What—How—"

I smile. It's so nice to hear her voice; it's like a lullaby in the wind. "I was hoping you could tell me," I tell her. "Some guard brought you here. You were pretty beat."

"Some guard?"

"I don't know who he was," I admit and shrug. "I've never seen him before, but he was Earth Garde." Her stare departs and her chin dips low. She doesn't look back for a while, not until I tilt her head back towards me to see into the gorgeous cocoa brown. "I was so scared, Emily. I thought I lost you. Please tell me I didn't lose you."

She sucks in a breath, then twists out of my hand. My heart sinks. Does that mean I did? Does she not want to be together? Is this why she never answered my telepathic calls; why she never came back to see me?

"Thanks for healing me," she eventually slurs, still refusing to look at me.

It's quiet and awkward fast, and I have no idea how to change that. "Emily?" I try, reaching for her hand. I want to touch her. "Why didn't you ever come back? It's been more than a year. Are you still mad at me?"

"Why would I be mad?" Is she serious?

"You were so cold and upset," I remind her, though I'm not sure it's the best idea. I feel like I barely know her anymore, but I... I still love her, more than anything. "I killed him. I did it to free you. I thought if I did, I'd have you back, but then you left..."

"I never wanted you to free me, John..." She still won't look at me and it's like a burden on my chest, a weight impossible to lift. "I didn't ask to be saved."

"You cared for him..." I deduct because that seems apparent; she's not making that up.

"He protected me," she says, "better than any of you could. He taught me more than I thought possible. I thought he was Beloved Leader... I'm sorry. I never wanted any of us to die. I thought I could change things, and I—"

"Hey," I say, swiping at her tears with my thumb, but they just keep flowing. Her eyes are full of them. "It's ok. I never wanted any of that either."

She shakes her head. "No, you don't get it. I didn't want any of us to die. You. Ella. Five. Sarah. Even Setrákus... Especially Setrákus Ra. I thought we could all coexist."

"So, you are mad at me...?" I can't decide whether it's a question or a fact.

"No, I'm not," she says, but seems to reconsider. "I was, but not anymore."

"Does this mean...? You still..."

"I still love you, John." I swear my chest flutters like a butterfly as soon as I hear her say it out loud. "I never stopped loving you."

"Why didn't you ever come back?" I ask. "Why didn't you ever answer me? Didn't you hear me calling for you telepathically?"

"Of course I did," she says, leaning into my hand. "I wanted to talk to you, but I didn't know what to say. I didn't think you'd want to be with me or talk to me ever again."

"Seriously?" I can't believe she would think such a thing.

She nods sadly. "I know how bad I messed up," she says, "and... I'm sorry. You don't know how sorry I am for following him. Everything that happened in West Virginia, everything I did, everything I said to you, I'm so, so sorry, John. I didn't mean any of it."

I kiss her gently on the mouth, cutting her off. Oh, how I missed her mouth; it's as soft as I remember it, maybe even softer with her tears. "I know," I assure her. "I know you never meant what you said. I had hoped you were just hurt, and that if I gave you enough time, you would come back to me eventually. I waited..."

"I was hurt," she states, "and I'm still healing apparently, and I'm sorry I never came back to you, John. I hope you know I wanted to, but I..."

"Stop," I tell her. "You're here now, and that's all that matters. Isn't it?"

"It is."

"How did you get here, Emily?" I ask her then. "Who hurt you?"

"It's kind of a long story."

"By all means," I say, "I have all the time in the world."