A Hero in the Dark: 2nd Edition

Chapter 45: Studying Abroad - Part 1

I'm back in my luxurious room, nestled delicately under the covers. My eyes are tired and my body itches. Nothing aches anymore, nothing but my thigh and my ankle; it throbs with the mark of a circular scar.

Nice going, Emily. Why did you think you could agree to his alliance without any casualties? The first time you agree to anything he says, and you end up getting hurt. Again. Big surprise.

I roll over onto my side and stuff my hands between my cheek and the pillow. I want to forget about all this. I want to go home. But more than anything, I want to see John.

"I know you're awake," says the rough patchy voice of Number Five. I flinch at his sound. "Don't move; just pretend you don't hear me."

"Piece of cake," I mutter with an obvious grudge in my tone that I can't hide.

"I know you're mad at me for taking you to him and being the cause of all your pain," he says. "I wish you could understand; I was following orders. I didn't know he would do those things..."

I scoff a bit. "I doubt that. You're his right hand apparently, and he's what? Your master?"

"Beloved Leader," he answers coolly, "but I don't think I believe that myself anymore..." Only then do I turn, a simple shoulder check 'till I'm looking at his downward-pointed nose. He won't look up at me, not even when I ask what he's talking about. "I said don't move. Don't react. You hate me, I hate you; we need to leave it at that."

I stare for a minute longer unsure what to think, then do as he says. "But you don't hate me?"

He sighs, sympathetically. "No. I don't hate you. I, uh, kind of admire you actually." I can hear him breathe as if he's right next to me. "Honestly, I've sort of always kind of liked you—since the day we first met. I'll never forget it. I know I was a dick back then, and I'm sorry."

"Really?"

"Yeah," he says, running a hand through his buzzcut. "The stuff you said about my Cêpan, about Rey... It was honestly the first time I thought about him in a long time. He was the only piece of life I had before shit got crazy. Don't get me wrong; I meant what I said. Most of the time, I think the Elders were fools for pairing me up with him, but... I cared for him anyway. I dunno... Sometimes I feel like such a screw up for joining the Mogs. Like, maybe I was better off flying away to another island instead..." I say nothing. What the hell am I supposed to say to that? Five takes another breath and continues, "But since I met you, well, everything's greyer than it used to be—it used to be black and white—and I just want to say... if there's anyone that deserves Legacies, it's you, Emily." He pauses. "You just need to find a way to overcome what you went through, and if you can, find a way to forgive me too."

"Does this mean—"

"I don't know. I can't exactly let him see my change of view; I need to stay loyal to him, or he'll kill me." He pauses for a breath. "But I don't want to hurt you."

Tell him, Emily, my mind reprimands me, and before I know it, my thoughts spill out and Five looks up. I don't hate you, Five. I was just upset. Not at you, but at him. I don't blame you for taking me to him. I know you were following orders, and... I probably shouldn't be saying this away from John, but... I like you too. I don't want to hurt you either.

He smiles and I can't believe the glimmer of light I see in his eyes; it's as evident as a clear blue sky. You and John? he thinks. Are you—

Kind of, I admit, a little embarrassed to admit that. We kissed in Chicago and in Yellowhammer. Things just kind of... happened...

Oh... His mind seems to spiral then. Maybe if I went with her instead of taking her... Maybe if I wasn't such an asshole... Maybe I would've been good enough for her sooner...