A Hero in the Dark: 2nd Edition

Chapter 121: Literally Life or Death

I lie wide awake next to bae, the alarm clock reading 7:48 a.m. I shut it off a while ago just so it didn't disturb him. He's knocked out like a baby ever since we came back from Paradise.

Baby... Shit. Today's the day I get all the tests done for her. This isn't going to be fun. As much as I would love to lie in bed with my fiancée until the sun's at its peak, I should probably get ready for them, so carefully, I lean over and plant a soft kiss to his cheek. He smacks his lips a bit, smiles, and just as I try to leave, he rolls into me and traps me in an intoxicating hug.

He kisses me behind my ear, making me squeak, and whispers, "don't leave me."

I squirm out of his arms, because I know if I don't, I'll be lying in bed with him forever. "I have to," I remind him, giggling. "I told Malcolm that I'd meet him first thing."

His breath is slow, a gentle pond after a morning storm. "Oh. Right. The tests."

I nod. "The tests." I have no doubt John knows how nervous I am for them. Ever since we told Malcolm our situation, since he's told us what tests he'll do, I've been dreading going in.

"Let me come with you," he says.

"No, it's ok." He's clearly still tired; I know his energy's slowing waning, ticking down to absolute zero, and though I'd feel better if he did come with me, I also don't like tearing him away from his beauty rest. "I can do it by myself..."

"I know you can," he replies. "But I want to. Wait for me?"

***

Malcolm meets us right on time, dressed in his usual scientific getup—not quite doctor-like but a lab coat no less—with a clipboard of tests and questions and God knows what else he's got to fill in. I sit on the exam table in one of the HGA Infirmary health rooms, my hands stuck between the paper and my thighs, alternating my gaze between bae and Malcolm's every move.

"So, first pregnancy, isn't it?" he starts, smiling all too gleefully, and even though he already knows this, John and I still commit to a single, stressful nod. "No worries. We'll cover the essentials and every precaution to ensure the health and safety of you and the baby."

"Thanks," I note, "but I'm not even entirely sure I want this yet, you know..."

He nods like he expected this but still looks mildly disappointed. "Of course. I know it's a big step, but I hope you can see just how critical this is. I hate to be overly cliché, but unexpected pregnancies can cause a lot of stress on the parents-to-be and to decide whether to keep it or abort it is, well, quite literally a life-or-death situation. I hope you realize that."

He did not just fucking say that! Life or death! I fucking know it's life or death! Honestly! He didn't have to say the damn a-word! But despite my wayward thoughts, my body freezes.

John looks just as upset, and as I'm trying not to lash out or scream at the intrepid scientist, bae does it for me as blunt as can be. "I think we're all well aware of our options in this, Malcolm," he spits, a tinge of heat flashing in his pretty blue pearls. "We didn't need you to give it to us so straight. Are you going to do the tests or not?"

"Yes, John. Sorry. I just thought it was worth repeating, that's all."

"Don't apologize to me," he goes on. "Apologize to her. This is troubling enough for both of us, but I don't need her stressing any more than she is." Troubling? That's an understatement.

"Apologies to you both," Malcolm course-corrects. "I meant nothing by it, Emily, John."

"Can we just start?" I plead, not wanting this awkward lecture to stretch on any longer than it needs to. "I'd like to get this over with, so where do we start?"

Thankfully, with that, the moment's gone and we're discussing my nutrition, exercise, medical history, and medications—to which there are none. Malcolm checks my weight, my blood pressure, and does a blood test, pap test, and an exam of my pelvic region—totally ignoring the shifty look of disapproval from John, might I add. I can't help but roll my eyes when I see that, and alien boy squirms a little in his chair.

Following that, Malcolm takes a record of all my shots and updates us on the ones I have left to get: diphtheria, pertussis, hepatitis B, MMR, chickenpox, and an annual flu shot if I want it. That's a lot, and I don't do well with needles. "I can arrange a couple of vaccines a day, if you want; that way, you're caught up somewhat soon. Your arm might feel sore, but it'll dissipate in a week." Fine with me. I'm already six weeks late; it's probably best not to delay it any longer. "Ok, then the only other detail I need to run by you both is genetic testing," he adds.

"Genetic testing?" John pipes up. "What for?"

"Unfortunately, a blood test isn't enough to test for all diseases, especially genetic ones, cystic fibrosis being just one example," Malcolm explains. "But it shouldn't be any more difficult to do. It's another test to consider if you're serious about this pregnancy thing."

"Ok."

"Some genetic diseases should be tested for later during the pregnancy though too," he adds. "I'll keep you both updated on the where and when you can get it all done."

"Thanks," John jumps, bounding to his feet. "Are we done then?"

"For today, yes," Malcolm says, "but I'd like to see Emily each week to monitor her overall health, if that's alright." John says it's fine, though Malcolm's looking at me. I only smile to let him know it is, and as alien boy leads me to the door, Malcolm adds, "Oh, and one more thing: You should both test for STDs if you haven't done so already. Not only if you're going to continue being sexually active, but also for the baby's health."

Again, John acknowledges this with an honest and simple, "we will," and I nod with him, but even as I do, I can't help but imagine the possibility of having sex with my alien boy again. I want to, but while I'm pregnant? It feels... wrong, and what if John wants to and I don't? What if something happens? Is that too far? I just got him back; what if this limitation is enough to ruin everything?