A Hero in the Dark: 2nd Edition

Chapter 135: Eternal Love

~ Number Four's POV ~

We're supposed to be going back to Earth today, but considering the circumstances—okay, more like my circumstances—I don't see that happening. I'm not ready to go back. I'm not ready to face Nine, or Malcolm, or Six, or worse yet, her parents.

They hated me last time I saw them. Her dad blamed me for every shitty thing that's happened to her, but he let her go in the end. Now what do I have to say to it? I couldn't stop her. She put her life on the line, and I just watched. I never asked her to do that! But I never asked her to stop either, didn't I? I told her she could. I should've forced her to! What does that make me? A murderer? A bad boyfriend? A heck of a dad, that's for sure.

I hate not being there for Lola, but ever since that day, I couldn't bear to hold her. She reminded me too much of Em. Emily. Fuck. I can barely think her name without remembering that day. She was so tired when I held her; she couldn't even keep her head up—the weight I held was full—and it scared me. I remember every word she spoke, the way she looked, the way she smelled.

I. Remember. Everything. Henri said it's a blessing: "It's good to remember. It shows how much you loved her." But that can't be true. It feels more like a curse: to remember when I want to forget. I want her back.

I keep praying, hoping, begging to Lorien to bring her back. I plead to Pittacus Lore every night before I fall asleep and every moment I wake from a dreaded nightmare. He was supposedly the strongest of us. Em always said she could communicate with him via her Legacy, albeit it was only through her dreams, however unintentional it seemed. I keep trying to do the same. Obviously, he hasn't heard me, or if he has, he's ignoring me.

Even now, as I trek up Lorien's tallest mountain—Mount Em, as I call it—I still love her. I play with her ring on my finger, gaze down at it; she said she loved it, that it was even prettier up close. I haven't gone anywhere without it.

I've been visiting this mountain every day—morning, afternoon, evening, night—whenever I can't sleep or I'm not rebuilding.

Today is no different.

The sun beats down on me at half past two and I wave a hand through the air, using my Glacen to cool me. I could teleport to the cave, but I don't; I need the walk.

The cave... it's a wide one, and in the middle sits a stone pillar with a round table around it. It's the centrepiece and the only bit of primitive furniture in here—that and a few chairs. I walk around it to the back, and there, on a stone pedestal, is the intricately carved Loric Chest made especially for her, bearing the symbol for unity across its surface.

Four pendants hang on the wall: One, Two, Three, and Five. The wall, well, it's really the only thing I have left to smile for. I owe Marina a huge thanks for that. It's a mural, painted with the finest natural paints she conjured from the wildflowers outside the Capital. It's of me and Em, standing together, holding each other—her in blue walking on ice and me in orange in a ring of fire. We contrast each other. We're smiling. We're happy.

We were.

Standing in front of her Chest, I open it and place the ring in the ash, then close it and rest the flowers on the ground. "Not a day goes by where I don't miss you, Em," I mutter, "but I didn't come today just to replace the old flowers and return your ring."

Her silence fills me with an everlasting dread. I take a deep breath and pull the book out of her bag. "Your letter—" I say, trying my hardest not to break. "The last entry... I came to read it. I want to read it with you." I touch and feel every inch of the journal. I've gone through every page but the last five, as they were addressed to me. "I couldn't look at them until now," I tell her. "I'm sorry."