A Hero in the Dark: 2nd Edition

Chapter 107: The B Word

What the hell did I do. Did I honestly—? Please tell me I didn't.

I didn't mean to end anything; I just wanted him to know how I felt. I didn't mean anything by what I said about not talking to me again, or touching me, or being around me—I still want all of that, but I also want him to understand...

I had no idea it came out the way it did. A breakup! Not just that but my first! And with the most beautiful, brave, and kind-hearted guy—alien, sure, but guy—I've ever met! I didn't want this. I wish I could take it all back. But... is that right? Is that even possible?

I still stand by what I said. I didn't like how he treated me last night. If he was mad, if he did just want sex, he should've told me! But no. He had to tie me up like Setrákus Ra did, and that's probably the worst part! John knows how much I don't like contact with my wrists. I don't let anybody touch them, even if only a light graze. So, tying me up? It's out of the question! Even if it's with my own soft scrunchies... it felt... wrong. I told him I was scared, but he still let it go on, and that fear... why didn't it go away? How do I get him to stay?

I'll want him again; I know I will, but how do I make sure something like that doesn't happen again? How do I make sure he doesn't use me like that anymore so carelessly?

I try to settle my chest; it won't stop heaving. My lungs feel out of breath no matter how much air I take in. I can't believe I did that to him. I wipe my face thinking how he must feel now; does he know what happened too? Does he know what a breakup is? Of course he does. He broke up with Sarah. Is that what this is? I wish it wasn't, but at the same time, no matter how much I don't want it, there's a small part of me that does; I don't even know where it came from. I let out a sigh.

Maybe this is for the best.

Carefully, I pull myself up and dust myself off, then unlock the stall. The bathroom's empty—thank God. I'm glad no one had the chance to possibly hear me cry out loud.

I wash my face at the basin and slowly make my way out, conscious about running into John like this. I don't want to run into him. I'm sure I look like a mess.

Instead, I wander the hall in the other direction from where he and I last talked, and it isn't until I pass the gym doors that I realize Nine's in there. I can hear him blowing his whistle crystal clear, yelling something, but his words are unclear. I walk in.

Fortunately, no one notices me. It seems all his students are preoccupied with their own exercises—work with telekinesis and whatnot. There's one girl making ice as thick as a plank of wood and floating them in a way to build a staircase to the ceiling. Nine, on the other hand, is watching them on the catwalk in nothing but a pair of gym shorts, as opposed to how I saw him when he stepped out of his office earlier—all fully clothed. I walk up to meet him.

Though for a while, I don't say much, and merely just watch him watch his students. "Hey, Lizzy! Let's make 'em thinner, yeah?" he shouts. "And Nick, enough of the child's play! Up the weights to two hundred! Reagan don't let that fall! I wasn't kidding about taking away recreational time!"

I've never heard Nine sound so much like a professor before. I mean, I knew that was his role and he opted for that title himself, but he's so... in control. "Aren't you being a little too harsh on them?" I murmur, finally finding my voice, and he spins to face me when I do.

"Em!" he greets, slapping me on the back. "Nah. Someone's got to keep them in line."

"And that someone is you."

"You bet."

"Looks like you're enjoying it," I say, but the words come out bland. "It's funny; I never really pictured you as a teacher or professor, or you know, someone to learn from."

"Ouch. That hurts right here, Em," he says, a hand on his chest.

"I mean, you just don't seem like the type to have the patience for this sort of thing, or um..."

"Relax. I'm just messing with you," he says, kidding me at the elbow. "Yeah. I didn't think so either, but what can I say? They're growing on me." I force a smile. "What about you? How are you? Johnny doesn't suspect anything, does he?"

"I had a feeling he did last night," I mutter. "But it doesn't really matter anymore..."

"What? Why? What happened?"

"We kind of had a fight..."

"A fight?"

"I broke up with him," I spit, not wanting to drag this out, but my voice still breaks in the middle of the b-word. "Accidentally."

For a minute, Nine just stares at me, and I look away, gripping the catwalk's handrail to keep from falling again and drawing my attention to his students; they're a welcome distraction.

"I'm sorry, Emily," he says, which just makes me want to groan.

"It's not my fault," I spit, but even as I say it, there's a part of me that doesn't believe it. "I don't need you to baby me. What I need is my own cabin, Nine. I need to be away from him, enough so he won't be able to—"

Nine stops me with a hand on my shoulder, then says, "Considerit done."