I'm a Dixon (Carl Grimes Fan-Fiction)

Chapter 8

Grace's POV
When we got back Rick said we're going to the place which Aaron calls "home". I actually don't think in this world something like a home exists anymore. At first you feel comfortable and safe in a place, but it's just a matter of time when everything comes crashing down.

Rick said we're going tomorrow night. It's about noon. I'm leaning against a wall watching Dad. He told me yesterday about Merle again, I asked about him. Dad says he's dead, but I don't believe it. I keep repeating the story in my head dad told me.

-story-
"I was running. I was looking for him everywhere after Merle left the prison. When I got to that place, I saw the Governor and Merle.. they were inside a little house.. Merle stood with his back to the window. I couldn't see much. I just heard them arguing. And then the Governor pulled his gun out and shot... then Merle fell to the ground. I got angry and scared about Merle. The Governor looked down at Merle and walked away. I wanted to kill the Governor. But at this point I didn't care about him. I wanted to kill him but not at this time. All I could think about was Merle.. I ran into the house and saw him laying on the ground... blood everywhere. "Merle!" I said but it came out as a whisper. A deep hole was above his stomach almost in his chest. I wrapped a cloth around his wound trying to stop the bleeding. I kept saying his name and shook him... kept saying he needs to wake up.. but... nothing. He wasn't breathing. He had no pulse. No heartbeat. Just... nothing. I pulled my knife out looking at his lifeless body... but, I couldn't do it. I just couldn't. I don't know why I couldn't but my body was stiff.. after a while I stood up and left... I guess I couldn't live with the fact that I lost him. I thought I'd already lost you, and couldn't live with the fact of loosing him too."
-end of story-

I keep trying to imagine walker-Merle walking around the woods, eating human flesh.. but I can't. As much as I want to believe Dad's story.. I just don't think Merle's dead.
Well, I believe dad, but something tells me Merle is still out there, alive. He must be alive, he's Merle fucking Dixon. I know he's still out there, I just know it.

This thing with Merle just bothers me. I just found my Dad a few weeks ago. I haven't seen him for five or even six years. I thought I would never see Dad or uncle Merle again.

"Hey Grace" Carl says. I quickly snap out of my thoughts shaking my head lightly. "Oh, hey" I say quiet looking down thinking.
"Is everything okay?" Carl asks.

I look up at him, in his blue ocean eyes. Should I tell him? I usually don't talk about my thoughts or my feelings, I hate stuff like that. But I feel like I can trust him... no.

"Yes" I say looking down at my shoes. "Everything's perfect".
He still looks at me.
"Are you sure? Grace I can tell something's wrong I-" he gets cut off by Rick.

"Grace, Carl, you two please go take watch outside" Rick says. He looks at me and nods. I nod back and make my way outside. I hear Carl's footsteps behind me. We sit down on an old bench and I look at the field that's in front of the bench.

"So, are you going to tell me what's wrong?" Carl asks, a lot of reliability in his voice. I hesitate. I look at him and just stare at his eyes, trying to find out what he's thinking. He really wants me to tell him. I can trust him, I can see it in his eyes.
I sigh.

"I, I'm just thinking about Merle, a lot... I miss him. Something inside me keeps telling me that he's alive, that I need to look for him. I don't know what it is that keeps telling me these things, Carl. But I know he's still out there and I wanna find him" I say and look down. Even though it's not much what I just said but it feels so weird. I actually told someone my thoughts.

He looks at me and takes my hand I flinch but then relax.
"You will find him. I believe you. If you say he's still out there.. than it must be true. It's like you can see the future" I chuckle a bit at this sentence.

"And I will help you find him, I'll stay by your side, I promise, okay?" He whispers.

I smile and nod. "thank you Carl" I whisper and he nods. This feels so weird, he's so nice to me and he's there for me... and I was so mean to him. I'm actually very sorry and I want to apologize but I don't get the words out. I actually have never apologized. I guess I'm still not ready. I already told him my thoughts. That's a big step. I kinda regret it but it also feels so good to talk to him about that.

Suddenly I feel arms wrapping around me, realizing Carl is hugging me. I don't hug back for a moment, he notices it and I can tell he's about to pull away but before he can I hug him tight keeping him with me. I need this hug, and it feels amazing.

-Later-
It's very warm outside. Dad, Glenn, Maggie, Carl and I are on a run looking for more food or other useful stuff. We are in a little town near by the house we've been staying. We found a small mall. Almost everything's gone because other people probably took all the stuff. But here's still a lot of useful stuff. Here weren't even many walkers. We killed almost every walker that was in here. Maybe here are a few other walkers, but they weren't bothering us yet.

Maggie and Glenn went to look for food. Me and Carl are looking for some clothes. Dad is a few feet away from us.

I found a nice black tank top, with a light grey flannel shirt, it has a light shade of blue. I also found grey new skinny jeans. I look down at my clothes I am wearing. My old blue skinny jeans are ripped and are covered with blood and dirt. They aren't even blue anymore, the color is almost gone, they're very dark almost black because of all the dried blood and dirt. My used to be white tank top isn't white anymore, it's fully covered in dry blood and dirt. I can't even see white anymore. My black leather jacket has a lot of holes in it and is ripped everywhere. And of course, dirty.

I grab the new clothes I found, looking around for a changing room. I spot one and make my way towards it. When I got in I changed into everything and smiled. The skinny jeans were the perfect size they fit my legs perfectly. My black tank top had a lower neckline than the one before, but it wasn't too much, it was perfect.

I look at the mirror that's in the changing room and my smile fades, I look like a mess. My hair is so dirty and it looks like a mess cause it's not brushed. My face is full of dirt and I lost so much weight, I look like a skinny crack whore. I shake my head and walk out. Screw it, I'm fabulous.

I look around the room and see Dad and Carl talking at the end of the room. I walk towards them and Carl turns around. He walks over to me. "Grace where have you been I-" he stopped when he saw what I was wearing. He bit his lip.

"Wow Grace... you.. you look sexy" he whispers the last part but I still could hear it. "Watch your mouth sunshine!" Dad snaps. I guess Dad heard too. Carl's face turns red and I chuckle.

"I-I meant beautiful! You look beautiful, Grace" he says. I smile. "thanks Carl".

Dad walks away and I hear Carl whisper something to himself as soon as Dad is gone. "you look sexy too" he whispered.
"what?" I ask.
"uh nothing" he says and walks away.

I giggle and follow him and Dad. We grab a few things and some useful stuff and then go outside.

After we met Glenn and Maggie outside the mall we made our way back to the house.

-
-
-
-
-
I decided that I will post twice a week a new chapter. I hope you liked this chapter.
And I know Merle's death was different on the show but I wanted to change it in my story to make it a little more interesting ;)