Chapter 5
We were in the living room when I saw Eli sipping her coffee, but it seemed that she had been out of her mind because she never noticed me approaching her. I sat beside her as I tapped her shoulder, making Eli surprised, and spilt her coffee on her shirt.
"Oh my God! I'm sorry, Eli. Are you okay?" I asked her.
She looked at me with a bittersweet smile.
"Zia, I've been thinking a lot about what happened after the party where you confessed your feelings to me. It's been weighing on my mind, and I can't help but question if I'm making the right decision," she begins.
I raised my eyebrows while looking at her, and because of all the conversation I wanted to start, it never crossed my mind that she would open up about that night.
"I understand, Eli. It was a vulnerable moment for both of us, and things have been a bit complicated since then. What exactly are you questioning?" I answered, keeping my voice low.
"I'm questioning if I'm doing the right thing by not pursuing a romantic relationship with you. I realized that I care about you deeply, Zia, and I don't want to hurt you or lead you on," she said, her voice full of sincerity.
I took her hand and pressed it gently.
"I appreciate your concern, Eli. You must be honest with me about your feelings. I want you to know that I value our friendship above all else, and I don't want it to be strained because of unrequited emotions," I said, smiling at her.
I saw her take a deep breath and smile sadly before she spoke.
"That's exactly what I'm afraid of, Zia. I don't want our friendship to suffer because of my uncertainty. It's been hard for me to navigate these emotions and figure out what I truly want," she said, looking at me full of emotions.
"I understand that this is a difficult situation for both of us. We need to take some time to reflect and process our feelings. Maybe we both need a vacation, a break from our daily routines, to gain some clarity," I replied.
Hearing my answer, I saw her face light up.
"Do you think that's a great idea? Zia. A vacation might give us the space and time we need to figure things out. What if we discover something about ourselves that leads our friendship to fall?." She said, looking at me.
"If what you think will come true, Eli, we need to prioritize our well-being and happiness because that's what matters most, even if it means that we need to be apart. Let's plan a vacation together, somewhere peaceful and relaxing, where we can think about what's best for ourselves," I said.
"Zia, I appreciate your understanding and willingness to work through this with me. Our friendship means the world to me, and I want to make sure we navigate this situation in the best way possible," she said, giving me her sweetest smile.
"I feel the same way, Eli. Our friendship is incredibly important to me, and I'm committed to supporting you through this process. Let's take the time we need and be there for each other every step of the way. I promise you that whatever the outcome of this vacation, nothing will change," I said.
Eli smiled as she continued to sip coffee while I looked at her with a smile on my face, but the truth is, I was hoping that after this vacation she would tell me that our feelings were mutual. I hope that Eli will realize that I am the person she needs in her life.
In the morning, I wake up a bit early and walk towards the bathroom to take an early shower. I stood under the warm water, feeling the droplets cascade down my body. As the water ran over my skin, my mind began to wander to the exciting vacation I had planned with Eli. The sound of the water enveloped mine, creating a soothing ambience that allowed my thoughts to flow freely.
With each drop that fell, my imagination painted vivid pictures of our time together. I envisioned strolling hand in hand along the sandy beaches, the ocean breeze gently caressing our faces. We would explore hidden coves and discover new environments.
But amidst my excitement, a sense of uncertainty crept into my mind. What if our vacation didn't live up to my expectations? What if we encountered unforeseen challenges that tested our friendship? The possibilities played out like a movie scene in my head, and I couldn't help but ponder the potential outcomes.
As the water continued to flow, I reminded myself of the strong bond I shared with Eli. We had navigated through difficult times before and had always come out stronger on the other side. Our friendship was built on trust, understanding, and a shared sense of adventure.
I let go of my doubts and allowed myself to fully embrace the anticipation of our upcoming vacation. I knew that no matter what challenges we might face, we would tackle them together, hand in hand.
As I stepped out of the shower, I felt a sense of excitement and readiness. I dried off, a smile playing on my lips, knowing that the upcoming vacation with Eli would be a memorable adventure filled with love, laughter, and cherished moments.
I stepped out of the room with a cozy towel wrapped around my body, the lingering warmth from the shower still embracing me. With a refreshed spirit, I made my way to the kitchen, my bare feet padding softly against the cool tiles.
To my surprise, the aroma of sizzling bacon and brewing coffee greeted me as I entered the kitchen area. Eli stood by the stove, wearing an apron and a smile that instantly warmed my heart. She turned to face me, her eyes lighting up with delight.
"Good morning, Z," Eli greeted, her voice filled with genuine affection.
"I thought I'd surprise you with breakfast," she added.
My lips curled into a grateful smile as I approached her. I couldn't help but feel a surge of happiness at the sight of Eli's thoughtful gesture. We sat down at the table, the tantalizing scent of food filling the air.
As we savoured our meal, laughter and easy conversation flowed between us. I felt a sense of contentment, cherishing these moments of togetherness. But then amidst our shared joy, Eli's words took me by surprise.
"You know, Zia," Eli began, her voice tinged with a hint of hesitation.
"I've been thinking... Maybe we should have separate vacations," she said.
My heart sank, and my smile faltered for a brief moment. I had envisioned our vacation as a time to deepen our connection and create lasting memories together. The disappointment washed over me, but I quickly composed myself, not wanting to reveal my true feelings.
Suppressing my desires, I mustered a smile and nodded.
"Sure, Eli. If that's what you think is best," I replied, my voice masking my inner turmoil.
Deep down, I felt a pang of sadness, but I didn't want to burden Eli with my disappointment. I didn't want her to feel guilty or obligated to change her plans. I put on a brave face, concealing my pain behind a facade of happiness.
As we finished our breakfast, I silently resolved to make the most of our separate vacation, even if it meant missing out on the shared experience I had longed for. I knew that our bond was strong enough to withstand this temporary distance, and I was determined to support Eli's decision.
With a bittersweet smile, I thanked Eli for the delicious breakfast and embraced her tightly, hoping that she couldn't sense the hidden sadness in my embrace. I was about to let go of my embrace when Eli spoke again.
"You're okay with my decision, right?" she asked, looking at me as if she were trying to read my mind.
I nodded and smiled at her.
"Yes! I think that's the best for us. Be safe wherever you go, Eli," I said.
"Thank you, Z. You too, be safe and happy even if I'm not around," she replied.
I nodded my head and walked towards my bedroom, holding back the tears that were about to fall on my face. It hurts knowing that she didn't want me to spend time with her, but I have no choice. I need to respect her decision now the way she respected mine back then.
