Breathe
by;michimichiro
Chapter 18
I found myself standing in front of Eli's door, bracing myself for the difficult conversation that awaited. Despite knowing that she harbored feelings of disdain towards me, I resolved to make her understand the truth about why Clint was with me that day.
I knocked a few times, and eventually, the door swung open, revealing Eli with traces of recent tears on her face. My heart broke at the sight of her pain, for I loved her deeply and didn't want to witness any more of Eli's suffering.
"Zia, why are you just standing there? Won't you come in?" she asked, her voice filled with a mix of sadness and hope.
I stepped inside, finding a seat on the sofa, and looked at her directly.
"Eli, I don't want to beat around the bush. I just want to clarify what you saw," I said, my gaze locked with hers.
She met my eyes, her own filled with sorrow.
"Before you begin explaining, Zia, may I ask you a question?" Eli inquired, her voice tinged with sadness.
I nodded, giving her permission to proceed.
"What I want to know is if you truly love me. I mean, genuinely, where do I stand in your heart?" she asked, baring her vulnerability in that moment.
I took a moment to gather my thoughts, silently searching for the right words to convey my feelings to Eli.
"Is my question that difficult for you to answer, Zia? Your silence worries me," she pressed gently, her concern evident.
"Eli, I loved you, and I still love you deeply. We both know this to be true. Our relationship has been one of the most cherished gifts I've received this year, and I hold every moment we've shared close to my heart," I responded, as I fought back tears threatening to spill.
"If that's the case, why do I not feel your happiness ever since we became lovers?" Eli asked, her voice tinged with confusion and hurt.
In that moment, I keenly felt her pain, and it pained me even more that I couldn't reveal the true reason behind the turmoil we now find ourselves in.
Without hesitation, I closed the distance between us, wrapping my arms tightly around her as tears streamed down both our faces. We held each other, finding solace and comfort in our shared sorrow.
"I know you, Zia. I know there must be a reason behind your actions," Eli whispered weakly, her voice filled with a mix of understanding and compassion.
"I love you so deeply. Never forget that," I assured her, my hand gently caressing her face.
As the weight of our emotions overwhelmed us, Eli's tears flowed even more profusely. In that moment, I leaned forward, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead, a gesture filled with love and tenderness.
"Please, baby, do not cry anymore. This is all I can tell you, Eli. It's not the right time for us. Let us not force something that may cause more hurt. Although we may be apart, know that my love for you remains steadfast, untouched by the passing of time. You will forever hold a unique place within my heart," I murmured, my voice filled with sincerity.
Eli's tears continued to fall, and I held her close, praying that our paths would align in the future. But for now, all I could do was reassure her and trust that fate would guide us to where we were meant to be.
We stood there, wrapped in a tight embrace, both enveloped in a heavy silence. I was aware that this might be the last time I would get to hold her like this, so I wanted to cherish every second.
"Baby, there's something I want you to promise me," I uttered weakly, my voice trembling.
"What is it?" she asked, her eyes searching mine.
"Promise me that you will take care of yourself. Don't let the sadness of our breakup consume you; promise me, Eli," I pleaded.
With a sad smile, Eli met my gaze.
"Z, by the time you leave my house, I want you to let go of me. You've chosen a different path, one that no longer includes me. So just focus on yourself," she expressed gently.
Her words cut deeply, revealing a truth that was difficult to face. I couldn't blame Eli, though—I had indeed chosen a path that didn't involve her. But deep inside, I held a profound reason for making this decision, one that I knew she would understand when the time was right.
I locked eyes with her and attempted a smile.
"You know I won't be able to stop thinking about you, don't you? Just allow me to love you in my own way, Eli," I confessed, my voice filled with genuine affection.
"I don't understand why you've hurt me today, Z, but I won't press you to reveal your reasons behind your decision. Even if I knew, I doubt it would change your decision, would it, Z?" she asked, her voice edged with a mix of confusion and resignation.
With a solemn nod, I acknowledged her observation.
"I'm sorry. It had to be this way. I had no choice but to let you go. I had to make this sacrifice, Eli," I shared, tears streaming down my face once again.
She regarded me with understanding, her own eyes brimming with sorrow.
"I understand. Don't dwell on me any longer. Don't worry, I'm not angry with you. I'm just hurting too, Z," she assured me, her voice laced with compassion.
"I know, and I'm sorry if my decision today has caused you pain. I didn't have any other options, Eli," I responded, a mixture of regret and love in my voice.
"Alright, it's time for you to go home. Clint might be looking for you," Eli suggested, heading towards the door.
"Don't you want to spend a few more minutes together? Even just a little longer?" I pleaded, yearning for a few more stolen moments.
Eli shook her head, a bittersweet smile on her face.
"Staying together for too long now will only make it harder for both of us. Goodbye, Zia," she said, gently pushing me out and closing the door behind me.
I stood there, overwhelmed by emotions, my tears flowing uncontrollably. My heart shattered into pieces as Eli refused my plea, denying me those precious extra moments with her.
