Chapter 9
After we arrived at the airport, I sat in the living room, thinking about what to do now. Oli's words were deep, and I couldn't just ignore them. Her words kept running through my mind, and it makes me feel so small and worthless now. I need to talk to Zia before I become insane.
"Zia, I know things got heated earlier with Oli, but I hope you know that it wasn't about you," I said as I took a deep breath.
"It's not just about Oli, Eli. I feel like there's a distance between us that's been growing for a while now," she replied, looking at me with dead eyes.
"I'm sorry if it seems that way. I've been dealing with some personal issues, and I guess I've unintentionally been keeping my distance," I said.
"I understand, but I can't keep pretending like everything is okay when it's not. I need to know if you're still willing to be here, to be with me through the tough times," she said, looking at me.
This time, I know that she's upset because I can sense it in the way she talks to me. She's changed. I don't expect Zia to change this easily. I thought her love for me was deep, but I guess I was wrong. I smiled at her, hiding the pain I felt inside.
"Zia, I care about you deeply. I may have been distant, but that doesn't mean I want to leave you alone. But if you want to be alone, I don't have a choice but to respect your decision," I said.
"Eli, I want you to stay in the condo, but I also need some space to figure things out," said Zia as she looked away from me.
"I understand, Zia. If you need space, I'll give it to you. I don't want to intrude or make you feel uncomfortable," I replied in a calm voice.
"It's not about you intruding, Eli. I just need time to sort through my thoughts and emotions," she said sadly.
"I get it. I don't want to be a burden to you. If you think you should have some space, then I'll respect that," I replied, smiling at her.
"Thank you for understanding, Eli. I value our friendship, and I hope you know that this doesn't change how much you mean to me," she said, squeezing my hand.
"Zia, you mean a lot to me too. I care about you, and if giving you space is what you need, then I'll do it. I'll let you think about what's best for yourself without me in your life." I replied.
"Eli, I appreciate your understanding. I hope you know that this decision is not easy for me. I just need to figure things out on my own for now," said Zia as she began to cry.
"I know, Zia. Take all the time you need. I'll be here if you ever want to talk or if you need anything. Just remember that I value our friendship, no matter what," I said as I hugged her.
As I wrapped my arms around Zia, a wave of regret washed over me. Memories of past mistakes and missed opportunities flooded my mind, weighing heavily on my heart. In this tender embrace, my thoughts became a battleground of conflicting emotions.
I couldn't deny the truth I was facing at this moment—the realization that my feelings for Zia ran deeper than mere friendship. The love I harboured for Zia transcended the boundaries of platonic affection, blossoming into something I had been hesitant to acknowledge.
However, as I held Zia close, a sense of angst crept in. Fear gripped me, knowing that confessing my love could jeopardize the fragile peace Zia was trying to achieve as she started to move on from her previous feelings for me. The fear of rejection and the uncertainty of the future with Zia clouded my thoughts, causing a tumultuous conflict between my mind and my impassioned heart.
Despite the swirling turmoil within me, I found comfort in the present moment, cherishing the warmth of Zia's embrace and silently vowing to navigate the complex of complicated emotions that now enveloped me. As we stood intertwined, unspoken words echoed in the tender embrace—a sad reminder of the complication of love and the courage required to confront it.
We remained like this for, I don't know, how long until Zia pushed me gently, her eyes brimming with unshed tears.
"I... I can't do this anymore," she whispered, her voice quivering with emotion.
I looked at her, confusion and concern written all over my face.
"Zia, what's wrong?" I asked softly, reaching out to touch her arm.
Teaspiltled over Zia's face as she shook her head.
"I've been hurt for so long, Eli. Every moment with you is a reminder of the pain I carry inside," she confessed, her voice heavy with sorrow.
"Zia, I'm sorry..." I began, but Zia held up a hand to silence me.
"I need to let you go, Eli. It's the only way I can end this cycle of hurt," Zia said, her voice breaking. "It's going to be hard, but I have to do it before the pain consumes me completely," she added.
I reached out to hold her, but Zia took a step back, her gaze filled with determination.
"Goodbye, Eli," she said, her voice barely above a whisper, before turning away, tears streaming down her cheeks, leaving me standing there, heartbroken and lost.
I watched in silence as Zia walked away, her words echoing in my mind like a haunting melody. I felt a deep ache in my chest, a mixture of sadness and disbelief at the sudden turn of events.
As Zia's figure grew smaller in the distance, my thoughts raced. I never imagined that our time together would come to an end like this, with Zia deciding to let go of me. I struggled to comprehend the depth of her pain and the weight of her decision.
Questions swirled in my mind as I stood there, rooted to the spot where Zia had left me. Did I miss the signs of her suffering? Could I have done more to ease her pain? Was there a way to change her mind and make her stay?
A sense of helplessness washed over me as I grappled with the reality of losing Zia. I realized that her decision was final, and I had to respect her choice, no matter how much it tore me apart inside.
At that moment, I understood the gravity of Zia's pain and her need to break free from it. Even as my heart ached with longing, I knew that letting her go was the only choice I had now.
As the sound of the clock echoed in the empty room, I stood there, a solitary figure in memories and unspoken words, my heart is heavy with the knowledge that Zia had chosen to walk away, leaving me to navigate a future without her by my side.
