CHAPTER 7

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     KAZUMI COULD NOT AND WILL NOT SLEEP, SHE OUTSIDE REFUSED HER HEAVY EYELIDS AND TIRED BRAIN

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     KAZUMI COULD NOT AND WILL NOT SLEEP, SHE OUTSIDE REFUSED HER HEAVY EYELIDS AND TIRED BRAIN. Staring at the ceiling she thought. She thought about everything that could go wrong, what it meant for her to succeed and bring honor to her clan once more after years and years of failures. Her mind also wandered back to the night with the raven-haired boy under the rain.

     It had felt like ages ago when she could let loose so easily, so long since the last time she could even be around someone her age. She thought about tripping and almost falling into the muddied school grounds. He followed after her in either curiosity or just for security reasons. He surprised her. She thought she knew exactly the type of person Fushiguro was, a rule follower, a mindless boy doing as he is told by the higher-ups. Okamoto Kazumi could not understand why she was thinking about Fushiguro Megumi so much. She turned to her other side in her bed.

     Tossing and turning and mulling over the events that led up to coming back home she scowled as she grabbed another pillow and crushed it in her arms. She had hoped she was able to delay meeting with the priestess. But things never went her way. Will the ceremony follow the same fucked up pattern?

     With a big sigh, she sat up in bed and turned her left side of the bed to turn on her bedside lamp. She rubbed her eyes riddled with exhaustion, her eyes darkening as more minutes passed by and she denied herself sleep. Adjusting to the light she swung her legs over her bed and stood up in her room.

     Where did I put it?

     She looked under her bed in the small basket she kept and there it was. She took it out and dusted it before turning it around trying to find any evidence of someone looking through it or tampering with it.

     She traced the book cover with her right index finger where the title read When You Are Next. It was a book of muddled memoirs of previous girls like her that weighted the clan on their shoulders. It had pieces of advice for the preparation, doubts, and goals. It felt wrong holding it each time she reached for the book. Maybe that was why it was hidden when she first discovered it. Not well enough. She thought. Maybe it was also why she had not bothered to hide it as thoroughly.

     She skimmed through the pages and reached the spot she had left off on, indicated by the fold at the corner of the page. She put the book, still open to the page she was on, down on her bed as she climbed back in and placed the cover over herself. Itching closer to her lamp she grabbed the book trying to find the exact place she left on. She finds it and stares at the first sentence having to reread it repeatedly.

     This girl's name was Momoka. She wrote more than others and was the one where she voiced and articulated her doubts quite a bit. It scared Kazumi, the doubt seeping into her mind and making it her own.

𝒥𝓊𝓁𝓎 𝟥,
𝐼'𝓂 𝓈𝒸𝒶𝓇𝑒𝒹, 𝐼'𝓁𝓁 𝒶𝒹𝓂𝒾𝓉 𝒾𝓉. 𝒟𝑜 𝐼 𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓃 𝓌𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝓉𝑜 𝒷𝑒 𝓅𝑜𝓈𝓈𝑒𝓈𝓈𝑒𝒹 𝒷𝓎 𝒶𝓃 𝒶𝓃𝒸𝒾𝑒𝓃𝓉 𝑔𝑜𝒹? 𝒲𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝒾𝓉 𝒽𝓊𝓇𝓉?

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