Growing with J.A.C.I.E. (All Time Low Fanfiction | Jack Barakat)

Chapter 15

The moment before Jack left for tour was always a strange one. One where he was excited, yet also hated the idea of us being apart for a while. His bags were packed and in mere moments, he'd be out the door. This time, though, it felt different. Very different. It loomed over us like an impending storm.

"I can't believe it's time for another tour," Jack sighed, as he zipped up his backpack. "Feels like just yesterday we were finishing the last one."

I nodded, but kept a smile on my face. "It has nearly been two months... You'll be back before you know it."

Jack approached me, wrapping his arms around my waist. "I know. It's just... different this time."

The gravity of the situation hung heavily in the air. We both knew exactly what the challenges were this time. Jack would be gone for seven weeks, which meant our rule of me visiting for a week would apply. But I couldn't visit this time. My doctor strongly discouraged flying any distance. Yes, I could fly within the next week, but that didn't cover the six weeks afterwards. So, we were going to be apart for seven weeks.

But that wasn't even the worst part. I was 34 weeks pregnant. Simply doing the math would make the problem clear. My due date was before Jack played his last show. He wouldn't be there for the final stretch of the pregnancy, the delivery, or the first week of parenthood.

"It is," I agreed and reminded him, "but this is what we need to do for Meerkat."

His fingers gently traced circles on my back. "I know, I know. It's just hard leaving you alone, especially with everything so close."

"I won't be alone. Hazel's coming to visit, then my dad will be here for a week, and then May will stay with me. It's going to be fine," I reassured.

But, fuck, I was telling him lies. I was terrified. I didn't want to do this without him.

His arms around me tightened, as if he could somehow stop the inevitable departure from ever happening. I could see the reflection of his own fears and concerns in his eyes when they met mine. We knew this was coming since that first positive pregnancy test, but it had finally become our reality. It wasn't avoidable.

"I wish I could be here for the last few weeks," Jack murmured, his voice carrying regret.

I sighed, keeping my brave face on. "I know you do, and I wish you could too. But we'll make it work."

He nodded, but the worry lingered in his eyes. "I just don't want to miss anything. I want to be there for you, for Meerkat, for every moment."

Oh, fuck. I could feel the tears already forming behind my eyes. I quickly blinked, refusing to let the emotions fully surface.

"I'll keep you updated on everything. Every little kick, every hiccup, you'll be the first to know," I promised, looking deep into his eyes. "And you know I'll be calling you, screaming down the phone if I end up in labour, even if you're supposed to be up on stage."

Jack's eyes softened, and he brushed a strand of hair away from my face. "You know I'll be on standby, waiting for the call."

I chuckled through the building emotions, "and I'll try to make sure that I don't accidentally call you during your show with mundane news."

It was a half-hearted joke, an attempt to lighten the heaviness of the moment. But underneath the bad humour, the reality still lingered. This tour couldn't have fallen at a more crucial time. But this was what our lives were like. There were always going to have to be sacrifices because of Jack's career. He wouldn't be there for every milestone, recital, or important event. That was just the way it was.

The alarm on Jack's phone chimed, signalling that it was time for him to leave for the airport. He reluctantly released me, but not before pressing his lips against mine, and grabbed his backpack, shoulders heavy with the weight of the anxiety.

We stood there, in the living room, for a second longer. It was only a temporary separation. But it was a temporary separation longer than anything we'd done before. Even when I lived in London, we weren't apart for more than six weeks. It seemed like we kept searching the boundaries of what we could and couldn't take.

Jack grabbed his suitcase, and together, we made our way to the door. As we stepped into the hallway, I couldn't shake the knot forming in my chest. Jack's hand found mine, intertwining our fingers as we got into the elevator. The elevator ride was a silent one as we watched the number signalling which floor we were on decreasing further and further until we reached the ground floor.

The reality of actually saying goodbye hit once we stood in the lobby. Jack set his suitcase down, turning to face me.

"I'll call you as soon as I land, okay?" he promised, his eyes searching mine for reassurance.

I nodded, trying to summon a smile. "I'll be waiting. And take care of yourself out there."

"You take care too. And take care of Meerkat."

He dropped down to press a kiss to my belly, but didn't linger for too long and stood back upright.

His eyes traced the contours of my face. "I'm going to miss you so much, Jacie."

I swallowed back the lump in my throat, my voice barely above a whisper. "I'll miss you too, Jack."

He leaned in, capturing my lips in a lingering kiss. The next time we would see each other could quite possibly be after Meerkat was born. This moment we would have been waiting for for nine months would come without Jack around. It was unreal– no, it was insane.

When we finally broke the kiss, Jack cupped my face in his hands. "I love you, Jacie. More than anything."

"I love you too, Jack," I echoed. "Always."

With a final look, Jack picked up his suitcase and he walked out to meet the waiting car. As the car pulled away, I stood in the quiet lobby. Things felt so strange. It was like this was second nature, but at the same time everything in me wanted to run after that car and bring him back home.

The journey ahead was daunting, and I wondered how we'd get through it. I took a deep breath and returned to the elevators. I was going to be strong, not just for me and Jack, but for Meerkat.