Growing with J.A.C.I.E. (All Time Low Fanfiction | Jack Barakat)

Chapter 27

It felt strange. Really strange. Eliza was four weeks old, and it was time for Jack's parents to return back home. Usually, we'd take them to the airport and say our farewells there. But with Eliza around, I said my goodbyes at our apartment's front door, and Jack said his before helping them get into a taxi. With their departure, it meant that we were officially going to have to do this on our own.

Jack sighed as he closed the front door, glancing at me with a mix of determination and uncertainty. "Well, it's just us now, huh?"

I nodded, also feeling just how daunting it was now, and repeated, "just us."

"We've got this," he shrugged it off with an overly optimistic tone.

The apartment seemed quieter without Jack's parents, even though it was us who were making most of the noise. Eliza was in her living room cot, just looking around with her big eyes, waiting for us to pick her up again. Usually, she didn't like being put down when still awake, but even she was quiet.

"We do have this," I agreed and gave Jack a smile.

He grinned back and came up to me, closing the space between us and tenderly capturing his lips with mine. In the short moment of peacefulness, I kissed him back, a soft warm glow forming deep inside my chest. We hadn't had much time for each other the past few weeks, but every stolen moment was there to remind us it was still us against the world – little Eliza there with us as well.

Once we pulled away, Jack gave me one last affectionate gaze before letting me go and waltzing over to Eliza's crib. He lovingly rubbed her tummy, his hand almost as big as her entire upper body. She looked up in his direction and kicked around her little legs.

"So... Eliza..." he scooped her up and brought her close. "How about we go do some tummy time and then Mommy can take a shower?"

I raised my eyebrows and crossed my arms. "Are you saying I need a shower?"

He looked at me with wide eyes, realising the words that had come out of his mouth just seconds earlier. "I wouldn't dare. You just wanted to take one yesterday and never got to."

I squinted at him as if analysing his intentions, but only doing it to tease him. "Fine. I'm going to take you up on that."

And so, I took the opportunity to take a much-needed shower. I had to be fast. In this household, taking a shower wasn't easy. It was a luxury. There was always something better to be doing. It was as if Eliza could just sense when I left the room and would immediately start crying her lungs out because she was hungry without showing any kind of cues before. So, it was slap the shampoo on and appreciate the few minutes of hot water and solitude.

After putting on some clothes and towel drying my hair, I returned to the living room. There, I was surprised to find Jack still on the floor with Eliza, both of them lying on their stomachs. Eliza was doing her best raising her head up, and Jack used crossed arms underneath his chest to stay up himself. They seemed to be engrossed in a conversation only they understood.

"You're still here?" I asked as I walked up to them. Either my shower had been incredibly short, or Eliza had somehow gotten incredibly strong.

Jack looked up at me, a toy still in his hands. "She needed a diaper change first..."

"Ah," I nodded in understanding, watching as Eliza tried her hardest to keep her head up. "What are you two discussing?"

"World domination plans," he joked with a mischievous plan. "Care to join?"

I chuckled and joined them on the floor. "I'm in. What's our first move?"

"Well, we were talking about starting with regular nap times," he informed me, moving the toy he had in front of Eliza.

She shakily turned her head, her little butt wiggling along as she struggled to keep herself stabilised. Jack smiled at her movements, watching her with awe and adoration.

Maybe my pregnancy hadn't seemed like great timing at first – Jack still on tour, me alone in New York City. But, in the end, it couldn't have been any better. I had Jack for slightly over three uninterrupted months, here to help out with everything. I had no idea how I could have handled any of it if he had been out on the road again.

"Sounds like a calculated plan," I agreed and joined in on the joke. "How about some strategic milk breaks as well?"

"Our forces will be unstoppable." Jack grinned at me and sat up. He gently helped Eliza turn onto her back and picked her up, cradling her to his chest. "I think for now, we just eat, sleep, change, and repeat."

I just took a second to take in the sight. Although this was his first experience with a newborn, he seemed like a natural. I couldn't help but admire the love and tenderness in his eyes as he cradled her. I was so glad I had been able to give Jack this. After all we went through, he was meant to be a dad.

He chuckled as Eliza started smacking her lips and rooting, "I'm not Mommy, she's going to have to help you with that."

I got up onto the couch and pulled down my shirt before Jack handed her over to me. Eliza latched on eagerly and we settled into our regular breastfeeding routine. Jack took a seat next to us and watched with a warm smile. I kept my eyes on Eliza, marvelling at how we had somehow managed to create her. She had her hair and eye colour from Jack already, both darker than mine. Her tiny fingers were grabbing onto anything that got close, eager to discover the world.

And I was her mother. It was a daunting thought. I was responsible for her life. Sometimes I'd wonder if I'd ever be good enough. She deserved all the love in the world. But could I be the one to make sure nothing happened to her? Luckily, I knew she'd always have Jack to fall back on.

"Do you want to try pumping after?" Jack asked, breaking the silence.

I'd agreed to give it a shot once Eliza was four weeks old. But only to see how things went. If it meant Eliza didn't get enough food or my milk supply got completely deregulated, I'd stop and try again later. If things went well, then I could enjoy a bit more peace and quiet. Jack would get to first-handedly experience the wonders of feeding her as well.

"Not today..." I said quietly, shaking my head. "Let's not make too many changes in one go."