Growing with J.A.C.I.E. (All Time Low Fanfiction | Jack Barakat)

Chapter 30

Eliza stretched out as I went to pick her up from the changing table.

"Such a good stretch!" I gasped as I held her out in front of me and placed butterfly kisses all over her face.

She gave me a smile back, making my heart glow. Ever since she first started smiling a few days earlier, she wouldn't stop reacting to us with her toothless grin. Her smile was already infectious, making us beam back every time.

"You ready for your first day out?" I asked her as I held her to my shoulder, pressing another kiss to the top of her head. Her baby smell couldn't fail at making me feel at peace.

As I turned around to head out to the living room, I caught Jack watching us from the doorway. He had a loving gaze and a smile on his face. The way he leaned against the door made him look like he was in his own world while also seeming like he'd never been more present.

"What?" I stared back at him as I continued to my destination.

He shook his head and kept grinning as I walked past. "Nothing."

"Okay..." I responded sceptically and spotted the car seat already ready for Eliza on the dining table.

"I'm just glad to see you happier," he elaborated with a shrug, coming over to help me with Eliza.

He was right. The medication was starting to work, and I'd never felt lighter. I thought the exhaustion I felt came with the consequences of having a newborn baby. But, no. The exhaustion had been much more than that. It wasn't just caused by sleep-deprivation. I knew better now that the extreme weight had lifted.

Sure, the fact that Eliza now slept for longer stretches through the night, and the fact that Jack would take over some of the night feedings helped, but this was different. I felt tired, I would have loved some more sleep. But I didn't feel overwhelmed, like I was just going through the motions anymore.

We gently settled Eliza in her car seat, making sure she was comfortable and tightening all the straps to keep her safe. Jack had become quite the natural at the task.

"We're all set," he announced, his eyes meeting mine with a shared excitement for the day ahead.

Although I felt better, I was still the concerned mother. Especially since this was our first proper outing. We'd gone on short walks around the block and to the park. But this was the first time we'd be away from home for a longer period. I didn't want to be caught off guard at any point.

"Do we have everything?" I double checked, my eyes glancing over the diaper bag.

Jack nodded, excited to get out for the day. "I think so."

"Diapers, bottles," I started listing off the checklist as he gave a nod to everything, "blankets, extra clothes for Eliza, an extra shirt for us–"

"We've always got a spare one for you in the diaper bag."

"And for you?"

"For me?" he frowned.

"Yeah," I looked back at him, glad I wanted to be over prepared, "what if she throws up or has a blow out all over you?"

"Good one." He immediately went to the bedroom to find something he could change into if it came to that.

"It's probably a good idea to have spare pants in the car at all times as well," I shouted out to him, remembering an accident my dad once had with Ben as a baby.

Jack popped his head out of the bedroom. "It seems excessive, but let's do it."

He returned with a duffle bag with a change of pants for us in case we ever needed them, and stuffed his t-shirt into the diaper bag. With everything ready to go, we took the daring step of actually going out on a trip. The weather was nice and the temperature was perfect to be out with Eliza for a few hours.

We went down to the car, throwing the duffle bag into the trunk and once again checking if we had everything. While Jack secured Eliza's car seat into the backseat, I slid into the passenger seat and started preparing the directions on the entertainment system. Our destination today was the zoo – a place where we could stroll around outside, enjoy the sun, and have some lighthearted fun.

Once we got to the zoo, Jack parked the car, and we went through the usual routine of setting up the stroller. Jack took the lead again, carefully lifting Eliza out of the car and clicking the carrier into place. Before he shut the door, I snuck in a kiss, unable to refrain with the way the sunlight was hitting his face.

"What was that for?" He grinned at me, the happiness in his eyes even visible through his sunglasses.

"I just love you." I smiled back.

He just beamed back and leaned in for another kiss as he reached back to shut the door. With everything and everybody ready to go, we walked the distance to the entrance and paid the fee to get in. Behind the gates was a busier location than I had been since before Eliza's birth. Jack was usually the one to go out for groceries. If I was the one who went, I alwayswent during quiet hours.

And, while it took some getting used to the excited families and kids running around, I wasn't feeling overwhelmed. I actually felt okay, ready to have a nice day out with my family.

"I swear to god, if we don't get to see the meerkats, I want my money back," Jack announced as he opened up the paper map in front of him.

I pushed the stroller closer to him and took a glance at the map as well. "Where are they?"

"Close by," he pointed at the enclosure with a little cartoon meerkat. "To the left and straight."

"Should we go there first?" I suggested, knowing it would otherwise be on his mind for the rest of the day.

"Yes."

I pushed the stroller while Jack kept an eye on our surroundings, making sure that we'd go in the right direction. Eliza seemed to be taking in the world around her with wide eyes, and I couldn't help but feel a sense of joy seeing her experience new sights and sounds.

As we approached the exhibit, Jack practically skipped ahead, eager to catch a glimpse of the creatures that had made us laugh on our holiday months ago. I just followed behind, manoeuvring the stroller around other people. The lively meerkats scurried about, their curious eyes scanning their surroundings, much like they had done in the wild. These seemed a lot more relaxed and less afraid of the outside world, though.

"Look, Meerkat," Jack gasped when we stopped in front of the enclosure, "it's your family!"

I chuckled at his enthusiasm. "I'm pretty sure we're her family."

"Details, details," he brushed off and pulled his phone out of his pocket. "I want a photo with Meerkat at the meerkats."

"Want me to take one?" I asked, already holding my hand out to take the phone from him.

"No, I want you in it."

"Alright, then."

We both crouched down and leaned closer towards Eliza. You couldn't really see much with Eliza in her stroller and the meerkats small and camouflaged in the background, but it was all about the memory. Jack held the phone up, and we smiled for the camera.

"Say 'meerkat!'" He exclaimed, capturing the moment.

After exploring a few more enclosures, we found a bench in a quiet spot where I could breastfeed Eliza without too many prying eyes. It was my first time doing it in such a public place, and while I didn't care what others thought, it was still nice to do it in a peaceful environment. Eliza didn't have any issue with the blanket that was draped over us, giving us some extra privacy.

"I was scared, you know," I confessed, turning my head to look at Jack.

"Scared of what?" Jack inquired, his eyes flickering down to Eliza before returning to my face.

"Well, maybe not exactly scared," I corrected as I shared, "maybe just a little worried this day would be too much for me to handle. But it's been great. It was a good choice to start taking the antidepressants."

He pressed a kiss to my temple. "I'm glad."