MY FIRST LOVE

Realization

It's been 2 months since that issue got closed.

Chinmay is still in his hometown and he still doesn't know anything.

But now as the diwali festival has started I feel that he will arrive here anytime in these few days to meet his relatives.

The next day, It was morning, and suddenly Di came to our flat telling the news that Chinmay's grandfather, who lived with chinmay's mama(maternal uncle) died a few minutes ago.

Everyone was shocked to know, Because his grandfather was very healthy and fit.

Even though I saw his grandfather an hour ago, he was coming from somewhere, he was fit and fine that time.

Everyone was shocked because of this sudden death.

In the next few hours, people started gathering in front of their house.

Their relatives were also coming to their house.

Chinmay and his mom dad also came after some minutes. The moment I saw Chinmay I remembered everything happened two months ago.

Now my family is more attentive towards my actions, so I have to be careful.

I can't meet him freely now, as i used to do earlier.I was just watching their house from the window of our house.

Their family was crying so badly.

After some time, few tears started streaming down chinmay's face. He was just looking at the scenario in front of him,his grandfather died, his family's state was devastated, his face was void of any expressions, but tears were flowing down from his eyes.

I was feeling so bad for him.

How badly I want to go there and give him a hug.

But I can't.

Why suddenly everything is happening bad in our lives?

              ________++++++++_________

A few months later,

It's been a few months since Chinmay's Grandfather died.

After 13 days to that day, he went back to his hometown.

Still he didn't know anything happened here.

When he was here, I didn't get a chance to tell him anything .

and how should I?

Because he was already sad because of the situation in their house.

Moreover I couldn't even get a chance to meet him.

This time everything was different.

The situation in his house was serious and I also had some restrictions now.

In these few months, he often visited here, but I didn't get a chance to meet him, or talk to him nicely.

And now, a few days back, my grandfather also died due to cancer.

now it's been almost a month to that.

and my mom and my maasi(maternal aunt) fought with each other over some trivial matter.

Like we used to live in maasi's apartment on rent, and maasi's behaviour towards us was not that good.

so now my mom wants to shift to another flat. flat of our own.

Everything is so messed up.

After a month, Chinmay came two days back, now everything is quite fine.

Still i didn't get a chance to meet him, or talk to him but at least now everyone is not that sad as everyone was from a few months.

I hope I will get a chance to meet him soon, like we used to do before.

I was in these thoughts when mom and dad came from somewhere. They sat on couch . I brought water for them. After drinking the water they told me that, we have bought a new flat of our own.

We will be shifting there soon.

After hearing that I was so happy, as we will shift in our own flat. and I will meet new people there, I will make new friends.

But as soon as realisation hit me, that happiness faded away.

Like we are shifting, I will make new friends.ButWhat about the people and friends I have here.

What about Chinmay?

I don't even have any source to contact him.

When he comes here to my town, we get a chance to meet, talk and all.

but now, how will I stay in touch with him.

I can't even ask my mom to do something because of the issue that took place a few months ago.

Why is it getting worse day-by-day?

What should I do now?

No, I can't wait anymore now.I should tell him everything.

Yes, I will tell him everything about the issue and our shifting.

The next day, it was afternoon, and with the thought of telling him, I came near my window.

Luckily after sometime he also came near their window.

In the last few months, when he was here we didn't get a chance to meet or talk but still we shared a lot of eye contacts.

They were full of emotions.

Now, he was standing at his window, and I was at mine.

I waved at him indicating that I wanted to talk to him.

he nodded to that.

I told him in sign language that I wanted to talk to him about so many topics. so I told him to meet me on the terrace in the evening, to which he again nodded.

After that, in the evening, I went to the terrace.

He was not there.

I thought he was just late so i decided to wait for him.

But the wait was too long.

Till 5 pm to 8:30 pm I waited for him on the terrace but he didn't come.

At 8:30 pm I saw him returning from somewhere to the house on the bike.

Oh! so he was not at home so he didn't come to meet me.

Maybe his uncle told him some work, for which he was outside for so many hours.

When he came back, and parked his bike, he first looked in my direction(on the terrace).

we were now looking at each other.

He has the guilty emotion in his eyes.

but before he could say or do anything someone called him from behind and he went inside the house.

After two days, he again went to his hometown. and I didn't get a chance to tell him anything.

aghhhhh! I'm frustrated now.

What is all this happening?

What if he didn't visit here again till we leave from here?

What if I didn't get a chance to tell him everything?

I don't even have his contact.

I didn't even told him that I'm leaving.