MY FIRST LOVE

17 y/o me

10 December 2020

Here we go again.

Today, is 10 December. Again. It's been 2 years now since I saw him the last time.

But still I haven't given up till now.

and never will.

I am waiting for him and will be waiting until I finally meet him.

No matter how many days or years I have to wait but I will do it for him.

These two years were not at all easy for me.

Since I saw him I was craving for him more.

I was missing him so much.

Even now, my each and every friend, Maybe new or old, everyone knows about him.

Everyone knows I am waiting for him. Only for him.

Everyone knows about us.

Everyone knows who I belong to.

In these two years, I searched about him on social media.

I searched his name on every social media site but I didn't find him.

I tried so much to be in touch with him or to at least gain his contacts but it didn't help me much.

But it's ok.

I will try.

and one day I know I will surely succeed.

      ______________********______________

14 august 2021

I was thinking that "Life is going still as it was. nothing's new is happening. well, nothing's new is happening in my love life. Because in other aspects, many things are happening. Like now I'm in 12th standard and I have took science, with both the groups to be more specific. So I'm so busy with my studies. Moreover, I have joined a dance class. I'm doing good there also. Along with studies I'm managing to do good in my hobbies also. Like dancing and ya, reading and writing poems. Though I get less time to read, as i have so many academic books to focus on. But I've written so many poems. I must say love has this different ability to change a normal person into an excellent poet. Thinking about the situation of me and him, i have written so many poems."

But now it's not like that.

something has changed.

Actually today I'm very happy.

It's evening, and I'm going to the cafe with my female best friend to give her a treat.

Yes, I have a female best friend now and this girl is not like that bitch who will betray me.

she is so beautiful and nice.

so, today I'm giving her a treat.

because i want to tell her something special.

Actually this day is special.

Everyday is special now.

Because two days back, On 12 august 2021, it was afternoon, and I was just laying in bed thinking about something.

Actually I have created an Instagram account.

Because everyone from my dance studio has an account so they insisted me to open an account so that they will tag and mention me in stories and posts.

so i created an account but it was a private account. and i was accepting only the request of people whom i know.

Meanwhile, Insta was recommending an account of some boy from many days.

But I don't use Insta much and only add known people so i ignored.I have only noticed the name.

It was Rushikesh.

but wait.

OMGiiiieeee!

I suddenly remembered, that the letter Chinmay wrote to me when we were together, in that letter at last he wrote his name as Chinmay (Rushikesh).

so, does this account belong to him?

As I realised this, I quickly took mom's phone and logged into my id and then saw that account.

and yes, it was his account.

But why has he created account with his another name?Actually, he had two names.

Chinmay and rushikesh.

In his home everyone used to call him chinmay. so I thought Chinmay is his real name and rushikesh is his nick name or astrological name. But I guess i was wrong.

This is the reason that when I searched for him on social media, I didn't find him.

because I searched his name as chinmay.

and he has created an account as rushikesh.

silly us!

But leave this all.Main point is I found him.

OMGiiieeee!

I found him.

After all these years, I finally found him.and that too, Instagram was recommending his account to me for a month.

but I ignored it thinking that it was someone else.

But maybe the aspect which we are avoiding is the one who has our faith attached to.

So, I learned never to ignore the aspects without clearly knowing about it.

Okay, so i found him, and he even sent me a friend request.

Wait!

I need to tell this to my bestie first.

So I'm taking her to the cafe today to give her a treat and tell her everything that happened.

After that, we, as in me and my bestie went to our favourite cafe and I told her everything.

She was also happy after knowing about all this. and me, I was on cloud nine since i had found him.

I was so happy.

Then I came back to my home.

and i took my mom's phone.

Oh! i don't have my own phone as it's my 12th and moreover I have taken science.

But mom allows me to take her phone.

So, I took her phone, logged into my id and accepted his request and I followed him back.

Then at night, at around 10:30 , i got message from him.

and then our conversation started...